jday
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I really like the word “Mollywhopped.”
Mollywhopped - 1. When a grown man beats another grown man as if he were a girl under the age of 10 2. To hit really hard with an open or closed fist.
And, I’m not going to lie, given the right circumstances, I like to see it happen too. The circumstances I speak of are twofold: 1. A professional fighter – if you step in the ring with another professional fighter, you accept the consequences come what may 2. Bully Justice – when a bully goes from being the predator to being the prey, the transition is truly priceless…you will never see my face with anything but a smile when witnessing such an uplifting and hilarious act in progress. But undeserved/impromptu Mollywhoppin’s just don’t sit right ya’ll.
Fortunately, the Giants by anyone’s definition have a Mollywhoppin’ coming to them. But rather than rehash the bulletin board material that would likely fill up three bulletin boards, I’d prefer to focus on why I think the Cowboys are not going to simply win a close contested battle; they are going to beat them like they stole the Cowboys proverbial bike while running from the Cowboys house naked as a jay bird. (Pause from rant to grant you the reader time to put together what that catalogue of events portends………………………………………..did you get it?) And the Giants most likely will not take it well. It will be eye-candy for the better part of 90 minutes. And you, me, every Cowboys fan in the world will be afforded the opportunity to let out a 9 month pent up sigh of relief.
I’m no stranger to hyperbole. I hate it when people do that (ahem). So for those of you who doubt the reason in and logic behind every single word I said above, allow me to breakdown why the Giants are pretenders walking into a blender.
2016
The Giants beat the Cowboys in both meetings last year. By the merits of that statement alone, I have utterly failed in my efforts to convince you, I realize. Allow me now to add context to those losses. The first game featured Dak facing his mentor. Oh you didn’t know? As it turns out, our beloved Dak Prescott has attended the Manning brothers Louisiana QB Clinic for years; first as an up and coming QB talent and later as a counselor.
If you have ever watched KongFu movies, you see a lot of students take on the teacher; but never do you see them beat the teacher on their first try. As flimsy as that reasoning may seem to be, therein is much truth to those words, particularly considering Dak started out as the 3rd QB on the depth chart not taking very many snaps up to that first snap against the Giants and if we are all being honest, he certainly wasn’t among the top 10 reasons the Cowboys lost that game any way (large inhale).
Exhibit B comes to us in the form of a certain RB named Ezekiel Elliott that had a very rough start. You could certainly point to his missing much of training camp due to a strain and the Cowboys being particularly deliberate in their approach to his recovery. However, for those who watched his game closely, we know that the predominant issue was a lack of patience on his part to allow his blocks to develop and then hit the hole. By around game 3 (maybe game 4) Zeke started to figure things out and started taking over games.
In the second meeting, the weather was miserable in Foxboro. The balls were perpetually wet, and Dak had his one and only two –interception game, where he threw 17 completions of 35 attempts, for 165 yards and a 14.8 QBR, which we all know was extremely uncharacteristic of our rookie star.
Zeke’s day fared much better as he managed to put up 107 yards in 24 carries, which is a hair under 4.5 yards per carry, despite playing in wet conditions and circumstances that had reduced the Cowboys to being one-dimensional…in other words, the Giants were expecting Zeke for the majority of the day and he still managed to put up yards on them.
Flash forward to today. Cowboys stadium. Perfect weather conditions. Dak, Zeke, Brown, Maliek are no longer rookies. The Cowboys have had a whole offseason to prepare. The last hurdle for Dak; beat the teacher. Zeke is Zeke; when his foot touches that football field, know that his mind will be on football and football alone. Furthermore, know that his game is predicated on abusing, punishing, exhausting, and ultimately, humiliating defenses, no matter their reputation, or how many fingers they can count to try and get to 10…but fall short. The X Factor Dez, Beastly, TWillB4Real, The Standard Setter JWitt, The Bryce is right, Switzarmyknife, NoahsArk…I could do this all day, really.
None of this, of course, would be possible without the efforts behind The Great Wall of Dallas or Mount Rushmore, if you prefer. Granted, this line features fresh faces, but in at least one case, that may be an upgrade and the other has not seen a significant drop off in production…so far.
The Cowboys are ridiculously healthy, all things considered; as it stands the Cowboys are only missing Anthony Hitchens (who may just get Wally Pipped by Jaylon), Demontre Moore for 2 games, and David Irving for 4 games; players that I suspect are hardly necessary to beat the Giants, considering this game will be about how our offense stacks up against the Giants supposed elite defense.
Don’t get me wrong, the Giants do have a good defense, made ridiculously better by a defensive mastermind in Steve Spagnuolo. But the Cowboys offense is better. Where the Cowboys offense outmatches the Giants defense is on the bench, so-to-speak. They may shut down Dez. Twill may struggle. But then the question becomes what happens when the Cowboys starting putting their other receivers out there? Receivers that for 3rd, 4th, 5th, & 6th options, are pretty gamn dood (I meant to do that) by comparison to 31 other teams. So again I ask, does Spags have a package he really feels good about against that? What linebacker exactly is going to run with Zeke when he comes out of the backfield? What two corners have the quicks to stick with Beasley and Switzer?
The Cowboys have the dogs to do it and have had an offseason to prepare.
Offseason
The Giants offseason has been applauded by many; most of the many I suspect our parroting those they believe are smarter than them without taking an actual objective look at what is happening in front of them. Either way, and blast away if you disagree, I’m not one of them. Sure, they gave Eli some new toys; but toys don’t do a growing boy awhole lotta good without a roof over his head…know what I mean? You don’t? They gave Eli what he wanted, not what he needed.
Their offensive line continues to fail. Eli must continue to get rid of the ball within 3 seconds. So I ask you , what good is a bunch of shiny new receivers if each and every one of them now has to be particularly good with the ball in their hands after the catch, and not just simply good at going and getting the ball? What good is a receiver who can stretch the field, if you don’t have time in the pocket to throw that pass? OBJ can do it all, but if all we have to do is be mindful of him, he will be a very dangerous target for Eli.
Add to that a once again mediocre running game, which kills the effectiveness of play action and by extension today’s offenses best chance at completing a pass beyond 20 yards (I’m not certain of that, but it sounds legit). In summation, I truly believe the Giants offseason improvements are grossly and ignorantly overhyped.
Turnover Town
For some of you, this is not fresh of the press (as they say); I’ve made this assertion in other comment sections pertaining to this topic. For the Cowboys defense, the key, in my limited view, is disguise. The Cowboys clearly want to shift to more zone looks, considering their offseason moves. And that want is directly linked to their need for more turnovers. It’s no secret; zone tends to yield more turnovers because the corners have more time to react and posture themselves to the pass from the opposing quarterback. While it may not matter, if our defensive line can maintain steady pressure, in many cases it may be critical that Eli is unable to diagnose the coverage presnap.
I may very well be choiring to the preachers on the following, but for the sake of comprehensive coverage on the topic: visualize a play where you are the quarterback and you have around 3 seconds to get rid of the ball. If you make any adjustments, you are likely going to have several players taking shallow routes. Furthermore, if the heat comes early and you diagnose man as the coverage, you will assume that the coverage is in the trail position, particularly on the drag route, for example.
This is where zone can pay dividends. Because rather than trailing coverage, his coverage is waiting for him and that awaiting coverage may have a really good opportunity to jump the route, which beings so close to the line of scrimmages can often times yield pick6’s. But again, disguise is the key.
Underestimate Eli’s game all you like, he has seen it all. He does know how to beat zone. And he does have players who can do it…provided he can manufacture the time…which he sometimes can. But Eli can also throw more interceptions…and I fully expect he will.
Wrap It Up
Thirty Four to Seventeen, but it won’t even be close for those not keeping score and just watching the game, because I honestly believe the Cowboys are going to dominate the Giants in all three phases. Too many people are listening and believing the talking heads in regards to these Giants. I do not believe they are as good as advertised. Wishful thinking? You betcha!!! But I also think there is some very sound reasoning behind it, as well.
The Cowboys offense collectively is better…much better! There were certain extenuating circumstances behind each of the losses last year. And the narrative that the Giants were able to get better over the offseason is laughable in my mind. Of course, what sweetens the whole deal for both the Cowboys organization and their many, many fans, is that the Giants, their media, their fans, Mara, their Lisa Friel have worked hard to earn the Mollywhoppin’ that’s coming for them Sunday night at 7:30 PM and two days before my birthday….and it will be a happy birthday to me…and many more.
Thoughts?
Mollywhopped - 1. When a grown man beats another grown man as if he were a girl under the age of 10 2. To hit really hard with an open or closed fist.
And, I’m not going to lie, given the right circumstances, I like to see it happen too. The circumstances I speak of are twofold: 1. A professional fighter – if you step in the ring with another professional fighter, you accept the consequences come what may 2. Bully Justice – when a bully goes from being the predator to being the prey, the transition is truly priceless…you will never see my face with anything but a smile when witnessing such an uplifting and hilarious act in progress. But undeserved/impromptu Mollywhoppin’s just don’t sit right ya’ll.
Fortunately, the Giants by anyone’s definition have a Mollywhoppin’ coming to them. But rather than rehash the bulletin board material that would likely fill up three bulletin boards, I’d prefer to focus on why I think the Cowboys are not going to simply win a close contested battle; they are going to beat them like they stole the Cowboys proverbial bike while running from the Cowboys house naked as a jay bird. (Pause from rant to grant you the reader time to put together what that catalogue of events portends………………………………………..did you get it?) And the Giants most likely will not take it well. It will be eye-candy for the better part of 90 minutes. And you, me, every Cowboys fan in the world will be afforded the opportunity to let out a 9 month pent up sigh of relief.
I’m no stranger to hyperbole. I hate it when people do that (ahem). So for those of you who doubt the reason in and logic behind every single word I said above, allow me to breakdown why the Giants are pretenders walking into a blender.
2016
The Giants beat the Cowboys in both meetings last year. By the merits of that statement alone, I have utterly failed in my efforts to convince you, I realize. Allow me now to add context to those losses. The first game featured Dak facing his mentor. Oh you didn’t know? As it turns out, our beloved Dak Prescott has attended the Manning brothers Louisiana QB Clinic for years; first as an up and coming QB talent and later as a counselor.
If you have ever watched KongFu movies, you see a lot of students take on the teacher; but never do you see them beat the teacher on their first try. As flimsy as that reasoning may seem to be, therein is much truth to those words, particularly considering Dak started out as the 3rd QB on the depth chart not taking very many snaps up to that first snap against the Giants and if we are all being honest, he certainly wasn’t among the top 10 reasons the Cowboys lost that game any way (large inhale).
Exhibit B comes to us in the form of a certain RB named Ezekiel Elliott that had a very rough start. You could certainly point to his missing much of training camp due to a strain and the Cowboys being particularly deliberate in their approach to his recovery. However, for those who watched his game closely, we know that the predominant issue was a lack of patience on his part to allow his blocks to develop and then hit the hole. By around game 3 (maybe game 4) Zeke started to figure things out and started taking over games.
In the second meeting, the weather was miserable in Foxboro. The balls were perpetually wet, and Dak had his one and only two –interception game, where he threw 17 completions of 35 attempts, for 165 yards and a 14.8 QBR, which we all know was extremely uncharacteristic of our rookie star.
Zeke’s day fared much better as he managed to put up 107 yards in 24 carries, which is a hair under 4.5 yards per carry, despite playing in wet conditions and circumstances that had reduced the Cowboys to being one-dimensional…in other words, the Giants were expecting Zeke for the majority of the day and he still managed to put up yards on them.
Flash forward to today. Cowboys stadium. Perfect weather conditions. Dak, Zeke, Brown, Maliek are no longer rookies. The Cowboys have had a whole offseason to prepare. The last hurdle for Dak; beat the teacher. Zeke is Zeke; when his foot touches that football field, know that his mind will be on football and football alone. Furthermore, know that his game is predicated on abusing, punishing, exhausting, and ultimately, humiliating defenses, no matter their reputation, or how many fingers they can count to try and get to 10…but fall short. The X Factor Dez, Beastly, TWillB4Real, The Standard Setter JWitt, The Bryce is right, Switzarmyknife, NoahsArk…I could do this all day, really.
None of this, of course, would be possible without the efforts behind The Great Wall of Dallas or Mount Rushmore, if you prefer. Granted, this line features fresh faces, but in at least one case, that may be an upgrade and the other has not seen a significant drop off in production…so far.
The Cowboys are ridiculously healthy, all things considered; as it stands the Cowboys are only missing Anthony Hitchens (who may just get Wally Pipped by Jaylon), Demontre Moore for 2 games, and David Irving for 4 games; players that I suspect are hardly necessary to beat the Giants, considering this game will be about how our offense stacks up against the Giants supposed elite defense.
Don’t get me wrong, the Giants do have a good defense, made ridiculously better by a defensive mastermind in Steve Spagnuolo. But the Cowboys offense is better. Where the Cowboys offense outmatches the Giants defense is on the bench, so-to-speak. They may shut down Dez. Twill may struggle. But then the question becomes what happens when the Cowboys starting putting their other receivers out there? Receivers that for 3rd, 4th, 5th, & 6th options, are pretty gamn dood (I meant to do that) by comparison to 31 other teams. So again I ask, does Spags have a package he really feels good about against that? What linebacker exactly is going to run with Zeke when he comes out of the backfield? What two corners have the quicks to stick with Beasley and Switzer?
The Cowboys have the dogs to do it and have had an offseason to prepare.
Offseason
The Giants offseason has been applauded by many; most of the many I suspect our parroting those they believe are smarter than them without taking an actual objective look at what is happening in front of them. Either way, and blast away if you disagree, I’m not one of them. Sure, they gave Eli some new toys; but toys don’t do a growing boy awhole lotta good without a roof over his head…know what I mean? You don’t? They gave Eli what he wanted, not what he needed.
Their offensive line continues to fail. Eli must continue to get rid of the ball within 3 seconds. So I ask you , what good is a bunch of shiny new receivers if each and every one of them now has to be particularly good with the ball in their hands after the catch, and not just simply good at going and getting the ball? What good is a receiver who can stretch the field, if you don’t have time in the pocket to throw that pass? OBJ can do it all, but if all we have to do is be mindful of him, he will be a very dangerous target for Eli.
Add to that a once again mediocre running game, which kills the effectiveness of play action and by extension today’s offenses best chance at completing a pass beyond 20 yards (I’m not certain of that, but it sounds legit). In summation, I truly believe the Giants offseason improvements are grossly and ignorantly overhyped.
Turnover Town
For some of you, this is not fresh of the press (as they say); I’ve made this assertion in other comment sections pertaining to this topic. For the Cowboys defense, the key, in my limited view, is disguise. The Cowboys clearly want to shift to more zone looks, considering their offseason moves. And that want is directly linked to their need for more turnovers. It’s no secret; zone tends to yield more turnovers because the corners have more time to react and posture themselves to the pass from the opposing quarterback. While it may not matter, if our defensive line can maintain steady pressure, in many cases it may be critical that Eli is unable to diagnose the coverage presnap.
I may very well be choiring to the preachers on the following, but for the sake of comprehensive coverage on the topic: visualize a play where you are the quarterback and you have around 3 seconds to get rid of the ball. If you make any adjustments, you are likely going to have several players taking shallow routes. Furthermore, if the heat comes early and you diagnose man as the coverage, you will assume that the coverage is in the trail position, particularly on the drag route, for example.
This is where zone can pay dividends. Because rather than trailing coverage, his coverage is waiting for him and that awaiting coverage may have a really good opportunity to jump the route, which beings so close to the line of scrimmages can often times yield pick6’s. But again, disguise is the key.
Underestimate Eli’s game all you like, he has seen it all. He does know how to beat zone. And he does have players who can do it…provided he can manufacture the time…which he sometimes can. But Eli can also throw more interceptions…and I fully expect he will.
Wrap It Up
Thirty Four to Seventeen, but it won’t even be close for those not keeping score and just watching the game, because I honestly believe the Cowboys are going to dominate the Giants in all three phases. Too many people are listening and believing the talking heads in regards to these Giants. I do not believe they are as good as advertised. Wishful thinking? You betcha!!! But I also think there is some very sound reasoning behind it, as well.
The Cowboys offense collectively is better…much better! There were certain extenuating circumstances behind each of the losses last year. And the narrative that the Giants were able to get better over the offseason is laughable in my mind. Of course, what sweetens the whole deal for both the Cowboys organization and their many, many fans, is that the Giants, their media, their fans, Mara, their Lisa Friel have worked hard to earn the Mollywhoppin’ that’s coming for them Sunday night at 7:30 PM and two days before my birthday….and it will be a happy birthday to me…and many more.
Thoughts?
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