Reverend Conehead
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You go to the grocery store because you need to pick up a pineapple, a carton of eggs, a jar of salsa, a pizza, and tube of hemorrhoidal ointment. At the store, you can't help but notice a smokin' hot gorgeous woman. (Or if you're a woman or a same-team man, it's a hot dude.) She's of the type who will make almost any man's hormones rage. She looks like a young Brigitte Bardot, and is wearing a low-cut blouse. However, you mind your own business and continue shopping.
...
When you get to the area with the eggs, you scan your choices. Then, suddenly, the hot woman is next to you, also looking over the eggs. She seems to be having a tough time deciding. You say to her while pointing at one of the choices, “I really like Uncle Jim-Bob's Eggs. They're locally raised and are the best money can buy.”
...
She responds with total rudeness. She scoffs and says, “No, I'm not going home with you. What makes you think I would ever want to jump into the hay with a goober like you?”
...
You're taken aback. You can't believe it, and you answer, “I was just talking about eggs, nothing more.”
...
“Yeah, right, she says. I did not give you my prior authorization to speak to me, so leave me alone, you stalker-creeper-loser-nut-job. Stop hassling me.”
...
You grab yourself a carton of Uncle Jim-Bob's Eggs, and walk away from her. As you gather the rest of your items, you occasionally see her still in the store, and you resist the urge to confront her and tell her off. “She's not worth the effort,” you tell yourself. So you get all your stuff and go to check out. She appears to be gone, thank goodness.
...
Then, when you're outside loading up all your purchases, you notice a purse on the ground. You're like, “holy crap,” and you pick it up and look inside. Inside is a wallet containing a huge amount of cash. It's got numerous fifty- and hundred-dollar-bills, probably adding up around three grand, maybe more. You realize that, if the wallet contains an ID, you'll be able to track the owner down and give her her purse back, including all the money. However, when you find the person's driver's license, guess who it is? Yup, it's the snotty and hateful woman who talked down to you in the store.
...
You think to yourself. You have all the info you need to return the money and purse to her. The address on her ID is close; it would take you all of 5 minutes to drive there. However, you notice there's no one else in the parking lot, and you know from a store employee friend of yours that their security cameras in the parking lot are broken. You could totally get away with pockteting all the money. What do you do?
...
1) Rude Karen or not, she's the rightful owner of the money. You take the purse, wallet, and money to her residence and hope that maybe she'll be polite this time.
2) She made her bed when she was so rude and snotty to you. You take her money, and throw her purse and wallet into a dumpster. You think of the money as her paying you back for being so awful to you.
3. From the contents of her wallet and purse, you have a good idea what her beliefs/leanings, are and which organizations she would like and which ones she would hate. You go to a bank and convert the cash into a bank check and send it as a donation to an organization that she would passionately HATE. You then mail her purse and empty wallet back to her with a note explaining, “You were rude to me in the grocery store, and I later found your purse in the parking lot. Here it is with your EMPTY wallet. I've donated your thousands of dollars to [name of organization she hates].”
...
Which of these three would you do, and why? Or is there something else you would do? Explain what you would do and why.
...
When you get to the area with the eggs, you scan your choices. Then, suddenly, the hot woman is next to you, also looking over the eggs. She seems to be having a tough time deciding. You say to her while pointing at one of the choices, “I really like Uncle Jim-Bob's Eggs. They're locally raised and are the best money can buy.”
...
She responds with total rudeness. She scoffs and says, “No, I'm not going home with you. What makes you think I would ever want to jump into the hay with a goober like you?”
...
You're taken aback. You can't believe it, and you answer, “I was just talking about eggs, nothing more.”
...
“Yeah, right, she says. I did not give you my prior authorization to speak to me, so leave me alone, you stalker-creeper-loser-nut-job. Stop hassling me.”
...
You grab yourself a carton of Uncle Jim-Bob's Eggs, and walk away from her. As you gather the rest of your items, you occasionally see her still in the store, and you resist the urge to confront her and tell her off. “She's not worth the effort,” you tell yourself. So you get all your stuff and go to check out. She appears to be gone, thank goodness.
...
Then, when you're outside loading up all your purchases, you notice a purse on the ground. You're like, “holy crap,” and you pick it up and look inside. Inside is a wallet containing a huge amount of cash. It's got numerous fifty- and hundred-dollar-bills, probably adding up around three grand, maybe more. You realize that, if the wallet contains an ID, you'll be able to track the owner down and give her her purse back, including all the money. However, when you find the person's driver's license, guess who it is? Yup, it's the snotty and hateful woman who talked down to you in the store.
...
You think to yourself. You have all the info you need to return the money and purse to her. The address on her ID is close; it would take you all of 5 minutes to drive there. However, you notice there's no one else in the parking lot, and you know from a store employee friend of yours that their security cameras in the parking lot are broken. You could totally get away with pockteting all the money. What do you do?
...
1) Rude Karen or not, she's the rightful owner of the money. You take the purse, wallet, and money to her residence and hope that maybe she'll be polite this time.
2) She made her bed when she was so rude and snotty to you. You take her money, and throw her purse and wallet into a dumpster. You think of the money as her paying you back for being so awful to you.
3. From the contents of her wallet and purse, you have a good idea what her beliefs/leanings, are and which organizations she would like and which ones she would hate. You go to a bank and convert the cash into a bank check and send it as a donation to an organization that she would passionately HATE. You then mail her purse and empty wallet back to her with a note explaining, “You were rude to me in the grocery store, and I later found your purse in the parking lot. Here it is with your EMPTY wallet. I've donated your thousands of dollars to [name of organization she hates].”
...
Which of these three would you do, and why? Or is there something else you would do? Explain what you would do and why.
