Doomsday101
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Week 3 had it all.
Upset victories for long-suffering franchises in Cincinnati and Detroit, clutch performances out of a pair of new NFC North quarterbacks named Jay and Brett and a handful of dominating performances from the NFC defenses in New York, Philadelphia, and ... New Orleans.
New Orleans? Yes, New Orleans.
Last week, one coach fined a player $1,701 for a bottle of water, another threw his kicker under the bus in a postgame presser and a third told Sonny Jurgensen he'd bench him if he didn't run the play he called.
What's in store for us in Week 4? Let's dig into the Cheat Sheet.
Week 3 record: 11-5
Overall record: 33-15
Sunday 1 p.m. ET games
Detroit at Chicago: When Jay Cutler has a 100-plus rating, his teams are 12-0. When his defense gives up fewer than 21 points, he's 15-1 as a starter. As Cutler goes, so go the Bears. Yes, the Lions got a win and are now officially off the schneid. (What's a schneid, anyway? Adam Schein, do you know what a schneid is? If so, why is that word not a fixture in your pun-covered Schein 9 column?) But I don't see them coming into Soldier Field and nabbing a W.
The pick: Bears 31, Lions 13
Cincinnati at Cleveland: How's this for a free-agent pitch? "Come to the Browns, where our coach doesn't announce the starting quarterback until days before the start of the season, fines players $1,701 for misplaced bottles of water and, according to Darrelle Revis in last Sunday's New York Post, consistently talks down to veteran players "like a rookie mode type of thing." Oh, and where we have scored just one offensive touchdown (a garbage time score in Denver) in the past nine weeks and went for a field goal down 27-0 in the fourth quarter last weekend. The Mangenius era in Cleveland! Who wouldn't want to be a part of this?"
The pick: Bengals 30, Browns 10
Oakland at Houston: The Raiders actually shocked the red-hot Texans in December last season, simultaneously ruining Houston's playoff chances and numerous survivor pools across the country. JaMarcus Russell is being compared to Ryan Leaf these days, and that seems awfully unfair to Ryan Leaf. Houston — a team whose games I'm 0-3 on picks this year — will take care of business on Sunday.
The pick: Texans 27, Raiders 14
Seattle at Indianapolis: Seattle's alternative uniforms looked like professional indoor soccer togs, didn't they? I was looking for the giant Umbro logo on Seneca Wallace's jersey. Alas, it was nowhere to be found. Peyton Manning is having another MVP-caliber season, the defense looked relentless in Arizona on Sunday and Pierre Garcon has the best name in football.
The pick: Colts 27, Seahawks 17
Tennessee at Jacksonville: Jeff Fisher looked like a middle-school gym teacher on Sunday in that short-sleeved, baby-blue sweatshirt thing ... or a chaperone for the big field trip to the zoo. Regardless of wardrobe, I doubt he ever imagined his Titans would have as many regular-season losses as they did all of last season through the first three weeks of '09. No worries. Tennessee has been here before. In 2002, Fisher's Titans started the season 1-4 before rebounding and playing in the AFC Championship. Look for Tennessee to bounce back on Sunday in Jacksonville.
The pick: Titans 34, Jaguars 20
New York Giants at Kansas City: Last week, the Giants' defense held Tampa Bay to zero points and just 86 total yards. The scary part? Kansas City's offensive line is much worse than Tampa's. This one could get ugly, though I'm not sure it could get much uglier than the Chiefs' loss last week in Philly. If New York's two professional teams are pretty awesome this year, Missouri's two professional football teams are pretty awful.
The pick: Giants 23, Chiefs 10
Baltimore at New England: Talk about a colossal showdown. Baltimore's offense (430.3 yards per game) ranks No. 1 in the AFC and No. 2 in the NFL, while the defense (282.7) is fourth and seventh. New England ranks No. 3 in the AFC and No. 5 in the NFL in offense (395.0) and third in the conference and sixth in the league in defense (262.3). Crazy stat of the week? Both Joe Flacco and Tom Brady won 14 of their first 19 starts. Too soon to compare the two quarterbacks? I don't think so. Flacco is for real, folks. Give me the new-look, high-flyin', offensive-minded Ravens on the road in a tight one Sunday.
The pick: Ravens 27, Patriots 26
Tampa Bay at Washington: There's a good chance this game finishes in a 0-0 tie. Seriously. That said, I actually thought Josh Johnson looked pretty good in garbage time against the Giants backups on Sunday. The Commanders find a way in the most aesthetically displeasing football contest of the young season.
The pick: Commanders 17, Buccaneers 7
Buffalo at Miami: Was anyone else out there waiting for **** Enberg or Dan Fouts to break out some T-Pain/Jamie Foxx and insist fans don't "Blame it on the Henne" during Sunday's loss in San Diego? Yes, that was a rap lyric reference! Probably my first and last of the season. Savor it. I can't take the Dolphins until I see at least something out of the passing game.
The pick: Bills 23, Dolphins 10
New York Jets at New Orleans: The last time these two teams met in the Big Easy, Kyle Turley nearly ripped a Jets player's head off protecting his quarterback. The way this Jets D is flying around this season, Drew Brees may need some of that action on Sunday. New Orleans leads the league with 120 points scored, the most by a team through the first three weeks of a season since 1968 (Dallas, 132) and the fourth-highest all-time. New York, meanwhile, has allowed just 33 points, the second-fewest in the NFL. Offense, meet defense. This should be a fun one. Give me the home team.
The pick: Saints 26, Jets 13
Dallas at Denver: Wacky Kyle Orton stat of the week? The Broncos QB is just the fourth quarterback since 1960 to win his first three starts for a team while throwing at least one touchdown pass and no interceptions in each game. Drop that one casually at the water cooler tomorrow morning. Denver's D's been fantastic, but its opponents thus far — the Bengals, Browns and Raiders — aren't exactly the '99 Rams. Dallas comes in and ruins Josh McDaniels' perfect start on Sunday.
The pick: Cowboys 34, Broncos 16
St. Louis at San Francisco: The Niners are coming off a heartbreaking, last-second loss in Minnesota, Frank Gore is likely out and the defense looked a bit ragged against the pass last week. Chance for a St. Louis upset? Ha-ha. That's a good one. Oh ... you're serious? No. No chance of an upset. No chance at all.
The pick: 49ers 31, Rams 7
Sunday night
San Diego at Pittsburgh: Pittsburgh has won all 13 regular-season games against the Chargers in Pittsburgh. They've also won seven straight home games (including the playoffs) and the past five times San Diego has made the trip to Western Pennsylvania. Expect more of the same in a key bounce-back victory for the defending champs. Big Ben gets the best of his '04 draft classmate once again.
The pick: Steelers 28, Chargers 16
Monday night
Green Bay at Minnesota: This one has a great storyline to it. And no, I'm not talking about the much-hyped, much-fussed-over Ryan Longwell vs. his former team plotline. I'm talking about the fact that Donald Driver has 591 career receptions and is now just five shy of Sterling Sharpe's Packers career record. Will he break it? Will the Vikings hold him to four? Clearly, that's all anyone's talking about in Green Bay and Minnesota this week, right?
The pick: Vikings 31, Packers 27
Reader E-mail of the Week No. 1
Peter,
I, on behalf of the entire Gang Green Nation, beg, plead and pray you continue to pick against the Jets in your picks for the rest of the season. In a weird way, you are our team's lucky charm. Everyone's praising Rex Ryan, Mark Sanchez, Bart Scott and even Fireman Ed (they gave him a game ball after the Pats game) for the Jets' great start to the season. But you picking against us every week — that's been a nice wonderful addition to our Sundays, too. Keep it up. Please! J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets.
— Sharon, Old Bridge, N.J.
Sharon,
Congratulations, Sharon! You're the winner of the "Nicest note from a Jets fan" award this week. Yours also happened to be the only nice note I received from a Jets fan this week. Gang Green Nation, you guys are certainly a feisty bunch. I love your passion, and I love your energy. I took the Saints this week, but I can't promise I'll do the same against the Dolphins in Week 5. Ah, what the heck — this is fun. I promise that as long as the Jets keep winning, I'll keep picking against them. It's the least I can do.
Reader E-mail of the Week No. 2
Peter,
In your 10 Bold Predictions article before the season, you said the Broncos were going to be awful this season. Umm, dude — they're 3-0 and the defense has given up 16 points through three games. Want to take some time to remove that foot out of your mouth now, or would you like to wait until we're in the playoffs in January?
— Rich L., Colorado Springs, Colo.
Rich,
Let's hold off on the whole taking my foot out of my mouth stuff for now. And while we're at it, the eating crow stuff, too. Granted, Denver has looked great in its first three games, and I love what that defense is doing. However, in their next five games, Kyle Orton and Co. face Dallas, New England, San Diego, Baltimore and Pittsburgh. Survive that stretch, and we can talk about Denver's playoff hopes. ... And about the whole dining on toes and crows stuff, I suppose, too.
Reader E-mail of the Week No. 3
Petey,
You seem like a good judge of TV. Who's your favorite character on The Office? I'm all about Andy. That guy's freaking hilarious.
— Brett, Flagstaff, Arizona
Brett,
Tricky question there. My favorite character from The Office is actually Gareth Keenan. But he's from the BBC version, which if you haven't had the chance to watch yet, you really must. Ricky Gervais is a brilliant Michael Scott-ish character, and Gareth is the Dwight equivalent. On the American version — which I also love — I'm a big Creed guy. He has about one line or so a week — and they're never wasted.
http://msn.foxsports.com/other/story/10145624/Week-4-Cheat-Sheet:-NFL-picks-and-predictions
Upset victories for long-suffering franchises in Cincinnati and Detroit, clutch performances out of a pair of new NFC North quarterbacks named Jay and Brett and a handful of dominating performances from the NFC defenses in New York, Philadelphia, and ... New Orleans.
New Orleans? Yes, New Orleans.
Last week, one coach fined a player $1,701 for a bottle of water, another threw his kicker under the bus in a postgame presser and a third told Sonny Jurgensen he'd bench him if he didn't run the play he called.
What's in store for us in Week 4? Let's dig into the Cheat Sheet.
Week 3 record: 11-5
Overall record: 33-15
Sunday 1 p.m. ET games
Detroit at Chicago: When Jay Cutler has a 100-plus rating, his teams are 12-0. When his defense gives up fewer than 21 points, he's 15-1 as a starter. As Cutler goes, so go the Bears. Yes, the Lions got a win and are now officially off the schneid. (What's a schneid, anyway? Adam Schein, do you know what a schneid is? If so, why is that word not a fixture in your pun-covered Schein 9 column?) But I don't see them coming into Soldier Field and nabbing a W.
The pick: Bears 31, Lions 13
Cincinnati at Cleveland: How's this for a free-agent pitch? "Come to the Browns, where our coach doesn't announce the starting quarterback until days before the start of the season, fines players $1,701 for misplaced bottles of water and, according to Darrelle Revis in last Sunday's New York Post, consistently talks down to veteran players "like a rookie mode type of thing." Oh, and where we have scored just one offensive touchdown (a garbage time score in Denver) in the past nine weeks and went for a field goal down 27-0 in the fourth quarter last weekend. The Mangenius era in Cleveland! Who wouldn't want to be a part of this?"
The pick: Bengals 30, Browns 10
Oakland at Houston: The Raiders actually shocked the red-hot Texans in December last season, simultaneously ruining Houston's playoff chances and numerous survivor pools across the country. JaMarcus Russell is being compared to Ryan Leaf these days, and that seems awfully unfair to Ryan Leaf. Houston — a team whose games I'm 0-3 on picks this year — will take care of business on Sunday.
The pick: Texans 27, Raiders 14
Seattle at Indianapolis: Seattle's alternative uniforms looked like professional indoor soccer togs, didn't they? I was looking for the giant Umbro logo on Seneca Wallace's jersey. Alas, it was nowhere to be found. Peyton Manning is having another MVP-caliber season, the defense looked relentless in Arizona on Sunday and Pierre Garcon has the best name in football.
The pick: Colts 27, Seahawks 17
Tennessee at Jacksonville: Jeff Fisher looked like a middle-school gym teacher on Sunday in that short-sleeved, baby-blue sweatshirt thing ... or a chaperone for the big field trip to the zoo. Regardless of wardrobe, I doubt he ever imagined his Titans would have as many regular-season losses as they did all of last season through the first three weeks of '09. No worries. Tennessee has been here before. In 2002, Fisher's Titans started the season 1-4 before rebounding and playing in the AFC Championship. Look for Tennessee to bounce back on Sunday in Jacksonville.
The pick: Titans 34, Jaguars 20
New York Giants at Kansas City: Last week, the Giants' defense held Tampa Bay to zero points and just 86 total yards. The scary part? Kansas City's offensive line is much worse than Tampa's. This one could get ugly, though I'm not sure it could get much uglier than the Chiefs' loss last week in Philly. If New York's two professional teams are pretty awesome this year, Missouri's two professional football teams are pretty awful.
The pick: Giants 23, Chiefs 10
Baltimore at New England: Talk about a colossal showdown. Baltimore's offense (430.3 yards per game) ranks No. 1 in the AFC and No. 2 in the NFL, while the defense (282.7) is fourth and seventh. New England ranks No. 3 in the AFC and No. 5 in the NFL in offense (395.0) and third in the conference and sixth in the league in defense (262.3). Crazy stat of the week? Both Joe Flacco and Tom Brady won 14 of their first 19 starts. Too soon to compare the two quarterbacks? I don't think so. Flacco is for real, folks. Give me the new-look, high-flyin', offensive-minded Ravens on the road in a tight one Sunday.
The pick: Ravens 27, Patriots 26
Tampa Bay at Washington: There's a good chance this game finishes in a 0-0 tie. Seriously. That said, I actually thought Josh Johnson looked pretty good in garbage time against the Giants backups on Sunday. The Commanders find a way in the most aesthetically displeasing football contest of the young season.
The pick: Commanders 17, Buccaneers 7
Buffalo at Miami: Was anyone else out there waiting for **** Enberg or Dan Fouts to break out some T-Pain/Jamie Foxx and insist fans don't "Blame it on the Henne" during Sunday's loss in San Diego? Yes, that was a rap lyric reference! Probably my first and last of the season. Savor it. I can't take the Dolphins until I see at least something out of the passing game.
The pick: Bills 23, Dolphins 10
New York Jets at New Orleans: The last time these two teams met in the Big Easy, Kyle Turley nearly ripped a Jets player's head off protecting his quarterback. The way this Jets D is flying around this season, Drew Brees may need some of that action on Sunday. New Orleans leads the league with 120 points scored, the most by a team through the first three weeks of a season since 1968 (Dallas, 132) and the fourth-highest all-time. New York, meanwhile, has allowed just 33 points, the second-fewest in the NFL. Offense, meet defense. This should be a fun one. Give me the home team.
The pick: Saints 26, Jets 13
Dallas at Denver: Wacky Kyle Orton stat of the week? The Broncos QB is just the fourth quarterback since 1960 to win his first three starts for a team while throwing at least one touchdown pass and no interceptions in each game. Drop that one casually at the water cooler tomorrow morning. Denver's D's been fantastic, but its opponents thus far — the Bengals, Browns and Raiders — aren't exactly the '99 Rams. Dallas comes in and ruins Josh McDaniels' perfect start on Sunday.
The pick: Cowboys 34, Broncos 16
St. Louis at San Francisco: The Niners are coming off a heartbreaking, last-second loss in Minnesota, Frank Gore is likely out and the defense looked a bit ragged against the pass last week. Chance for a St. Louis upset? Ha-ha. That's a good one. Oh ... you're serious? No. No chance of an upset. No chance at all.
The pick: 49ers 31, Rams 7
Sunday night
San Diego at Pittsburgh: Pittsburgh has won all 13 regular-season games against the Chargers in Pittsburgh. They've also won seven straight home games (including the playoffs) and the past five times San Diego has made the trip to Western Pennsylvania. Expect more of the same in a key bounce-back victory for the defending champs. Big Ben gets the best of his '04 draft classmate once again.
The pick: Steelers 28, Chargers 16
Monday night
Green Bay at Minnesota: This one has a great storyline to it. And no, I'm not talking about the much-hyped, much-fussed-over Ryan Longwell vs. his former team plotline. I'm talking about the fact that Donald Driver has 591 career receptions and is now just five shy of Sterling Sharpe's Packers career record. Will he break it? Will the Vikings hold him to four? Clearly, that's all anyone's talking about in Green Bay and Minnesota this week, right?
The pick: Vikings 31, Packers 27
Reader E-mail of the Week No. 1
Peter,
I, on behalf of the entire Gang Green Nation, beg, plead and pray you continue to pick against the Jets in your picks for the rest of the season. In a weird way, you are our team's lucky charm. Everyone's praising Rex Ryan, Mark Sanchez, Bart Scott and even Fireman Ed (they gave him a game ball after the Pats game) for the Jets' great start to the season. But you picking against us every week — that's been a nice wonderful addition to our Sundays, too. Keep it up. Please! J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets.
— Sharon, Old Bridge, N.J.
Sharon,
Congratulations, Sharon! You're the winner of the "Nicest note from a Jets fan" award this week. Yours also happened to be the only nice note I received from a Jets fan this week. Gang Green Nation, you guys are certainly a feisty bunch. I love your passion, and I love your energy. I took the Saints this week, but I can't promise I'll do the same against the Dolphins in Week 5. Ah, what the heck — this is fun. I promise that as long as the Jets keep winning, I'll keep picking against them. It's the least I can do.
Reader E-mail of the Week No. 2
Peter,
In your 10 Bold Predictions article before the season, you said the Broncos were going to be awful this season. Umm, dude — they're 3-0 and the defense has given up 16 points through three games. Want to take some time to remove that foot out of your mouth now, or would you like to wait until we're in the playoffs in January?
— Rich L., Colorado Springs, Colo.
Rich,
Let's hold off on the whole taking my foot out of my mouth stuff for now. And while we're at it, the eating crow stuff, too. Granted, Denver has looked great in its first three games, and I love what that defense is doing. However, in their next five games, Kyle Orton and Co. face Dallas, New England, San Diego, Baltimore and Pittsburgh. Survive that stretch, and we can talk about Denver's playoff hopes. ... And about the whole dining on toes and crows stuff, I suppose, too.
Reader E-mail of the Week No. 3
Petey,
You seem like a good judge of TV. Who's your favorite character on The Office? I'm all about Andy. That guy's freaking hilarious.
— Brett, Flagstaff, Arizona
Brett,
Tricky question there. My favorite character from The Office is actually Gareth Keenan. But he's from the BBC version, which if you haven't had the chance to watch yet, you really must. Ricky Gervais is a brilliant Michael Scott-ish character, and Gareth is the Dwight equivalent. On the American version — which I also love — I'm a big Creed guy. He has about one line or so a week — and they're never wasted.
http://msn.foxsports.com/other/story/10145624/Week-4-Cheat-Sheet:-NFL-picks-and-predictions
