NFL player Noah Herron foils intruder with bedpost

WoodysGirl

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Noah Herron serves up a little bedpost justice
By MJD

An idiot thief is in the hospital today after he tried to break into the home of Packers running back Noah Herron. Physically, the man is expected to recover. His reputation as a master criminal, however, is probably damaged beyond repair.

Herron was upstairs in his bedroom when he heard the sound of glass breaking downstairs, followed by an unknown number of people entering his home. In a Favre-like bit of improvisation and creativity, Herron unscrewed a post from his bed, and used it to bludgeon the intruder.

For the record, this is not an approach I'd recommend. Please don't try it at home. You may end up dealing with a slightly more competent intruder that's armed with a little more than a bedpost.

But I'd still like to offer a round of applause for Noah Herron, and a hearty belly laugh at the expense of the idiot thief who's handcuffed to a hospital bed this morning, still picking pieces of Noah Herron's bedpost out of his face.

This sounds like the sort of thing that would happen in a Steven Seagal movie, and leave the audience sitting there thinking, "That was awesome, but there's no way that could actually happen." Unscrewing a bedpost and using it as a weapon? Who thinks of that? Jerry Bruckheimer would like to discuss some plot ideas with you, Mr. Herron.

I think the Hall of Fame should contact Herron immediately, and see if they can get their hands on that bedpost. I'd pay an extra few bucks to get into the Hall of Fame and see the "Noah Herron's Bedpost of Justice" exhibit.

Gracias, FanHouse.

Related: Green Bay Packers, NFL Criminal Behavior, NFL Oddness
 

31smackdown

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Do they sell replacement parts for beds?... I can see it now.. "um, honey.. I uh.. kind of messed up the bed... you see this guy broke in and well.. you see how the bed post kind of unscrews.. well.. " .. hehe
 

Chief

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WoodysGirl;2105426 said:
In a Favre-like bit of improvisation and creativity, Herron unscrewed a post from his bed, and used it to bludgeon the intruder.

For crying out loud. :bang2:

Will this ever end?
 

dogberry

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If this was in Wisconsin or Illinois, I sure hope that bed post was registered.
 

dallasfaniac

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Should have made the title: Intruder at Noah Herron's house gets nailed by bedpost.
 

THUMPER

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Chief;2105479 said:
For crying out loud. :bang2:

Will this ever end?

That was my first thought. How was this "Favre-like"? :bang2: :bang2:
 

JBond

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Guy was lucky he did not break into Tanks house.
 

superpunk

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THUMPER;2105505 said:
That was my first thought. How was this "Favre-like"? :bang2: :bang2:

Honestly, when I first read it, I instantly hearkened back to that time that Brett Favre removed a leg from the Gatorade table and bludgeoned John Randle to death before throwing a game winning TD using a crudely-made catapult. That's probably what the writer was thinking of.

Either that or the time Favre had a guest appearance on Macgyver.
 
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