Nice little nugget from Bob's Blog on being a fan

[BlueStar22]

As I was leaving a frigid Texas Stadium after the game, I was walking right behind a Dad and his boy. The boy must have been 7 or 8 years old and was crying about the result. Some people might roll their eyes, but I knew how the boy felt. When you are young, and you love a sports team, you believe the games and the seasons will all have the happy endings of the Disney movies that you watch. Guess what, son, if you are going to pledge allegiance to a team as it appears you have with the Dallas Cowboys, I want to welcome you to the fellowship of the die-hards. Understand, that once you do, you are not allowed out of this commitment, and you should also understand that most seasons are going to end in tears. A favorite team is the only thing a male human feels the same about when he is 5 and when he is 45 and when he is 75. You will change your mind on everything else. Girls, money, hobbies. But, you will always still feel the adrenaline rush of a win, and the gutting sadness of a horrible loss. I didn’t say anything to the boy, as his Dad was handling it (and he might not have welcomed my advice) but I felt for him. Welcome to sports, young man. Someday, you may live to see a championship or five, but most years will end with your guts spilling onto the floor.

 

[kramskoi]

i can't get my wife to understand this however...i'll admit that i derive little pleasure from a win unless it is easily contested...it's always the aftermath...the op-eds, the forums, the media talk, the game replay...where i can sit and chew on the past results before the team goes once more into the breach to prove their mettle and their reputations...and you're only as good as your last game if you play for the Dallas Cowboys...

My wife is constantly befuddled by my inability to enjoy the game without the stress of seeking to confront, control and coerce an outcome to which i have little stake or influence...but if you watch enough games you develop a knack for how games turn and why momentum is such a factor in close contests...iow, you can see it coming...case in point?

Sunday night at the Meadowlands...John Fox is 3-3 on the road with an unfavorable wind fighting his kicker...Steve Smith just negates a long run with a holding penalty...about a minute to go...Fox elects to stay on the ground and leave it for a 50 yard field goal try...perhaps, knowing that he has overtime in his pockets, he plays not to lose, thereby handing the momentum back to the Giants, who went on to win the coin-toss and thus the game...he had to know that his defense was gassed by then...they had surrendered 200 yards rushing but still held an advantage having the ball last and driving in NY territory...he chose a tired defense against an aggressive offense in scoring range and paid the price...perhaps that is the reason why he is now 3-4 on the road this year...

 

[yimyammer]

i can't get my wife to understand this however...i'll admit that i derive little pleasure from a win unless it is easily contested...it's always the aftermath...the op-eds, the forums, the media talk, the game replay...where i can sit and chew on the past results before the team goes once more into the breach to prove their mettle and their reputations...and you're only as good as your last game if you play for the Dallas Cowboys...

My wife is constantly befuddled by my inability to enjoy the game without the stress of seeking to confront, control and coerce an outcome to which i have little stake or influence...but if you watch enough games you develop a knack for how games turn and why momentum is such a factor in close contests...iow, you can see it coming...case in point?

Sunday night at the Meadowlands...John Fox is 3-3 on the road with an unfavorable wind fighting his kicker...Steve Smith just negates a long run with a holding penalty...about a minute to go...Fox elects to stay on the ground and leave it for a 50 yard field goal try...perhaps, knowing that he has overtime in his pockets, he plays not to lose, thereby handing the momentum back to the Giants, who went on to win the coin-toss and thus the game...he had to know that his defense was gassed by then...they had surrendered 200 yards rushing but still held an advantage having the ball last and driving in NY territory...he chose a tired defense against an aggressive offense in scoring range and paid the price...perhaps that is the reason why he is now 3-4 on the road this year...

Very good reply, I like your cerebral analysis. I have a feeling we view he Boys in much the same way.

Do you ever feel the pain of the loss is worse than the joy of the win?

 

[EastDallasCowboy]

so, so f-ing true.

 

[Jay]

Very good reply, I like your cerebral analysis. I have a feeling we view he Boys in much the same way.

Do you ever feel the pain of the loss is worse than the joy of the win?

That's how I am unless it really is a huge win... but we really haven't had any of those for a while. Almost forget what it feels like..

 

[BlueStar22]

I'm the same way. I definitely don't enjoy the wins as much as the losses sting for me.

 

[kmd24]

Though I understand why fans feel the way they do after losses, I don't choose to feel that way. I'm just happy to have a team that I love to watch compete. If they win, it's a great rush, but if they lose, oh well, try again next time.

There's no glory in causing yourself anguish in the name of fanhood. You feel how you choose to feel.

 

[EndGame]

I agree with everything in this post (great post, BTW) except for the inability to enjoy a win. I don't understand that. As hard as it is to be successful in the NFL, I enjoy every single victory whether it's by one point or 40.

 

[djmajestik]

Though I understand why fans feel the way they do after losses, I don't choose to feel that way. I'm just happy to have a team that I love to watch compete. If they win, it's a great rush, but if they lose, oh well, try again next time.

There's no glory in causing yourself anguish in the name of fanhood. You feel how you choose to feel.

Very true, you as a FAN can feel however you like. Problem is, the "athletes" on this team as a whole seem to feel the same way, oh well, just another paycheck (now that isn't inclusive of EVERYONE, but after that debacle Sat night, I don't care right now).

I guess what I am saying is if you are PLAYING a sport, that attitude won't fly. If you are a true competitor WATCHING the game, you can't help BUT feel that way. Casual fans tend to WATCH vs. BEING a part of it all.

 

[cwbyfan72]

every loss hurts, no doubt. but, i've said it before....i have yet to recieve my dallas cowboys fan check in the mail for a win. the day i do , is the day i let a loss linger for more than a day. Cowboys till i die!

 

[kmd24]

I guess what I am saying is if you are PLAYING a sport, that attitude won't fly. If you are a true competitor WATCHING the game, you can't help BUT feel that way. Casual fans tend to WATCH vs. BEING a part of it all.

BS. I'm far from a casual fan, and I used to tear myself up after every loss. Then I realized that I was doing it to myself.

Even for the players, it's the same. Failing is a part of life. It's how you deal with the adversity that matters. Wanting to win so bad that you do everything you can to win and feeling anguish over losses are orthogonal concepts, but for some reason most people assume they're correlated. You can be a fierce competitor without beating yourself up over losing.

In poker, getting angry or upset over losing usually leads to mistakes. Learning the difference between wanting to win (positive) and hating to lose (negative) helped me to achieve better results, and I suspect the same applies in competitive sports, although I've never played at a professional level. The difference is at the heart of the adage about playing to win versus playing not to lose.

 

[notherbob]

Though I understand why fans feel the way they do after losses, I don't choose to feel that way. I'm just happy to have a team that I love to watch compete. If they win, it's a great rush, but if they lose, oh well, try again next time.

There's no glory in causing yourself anguish in the name of fanhood. You feel how you choose to feel.

You are right, it's a choice but in order not to feel crushed when the team loses, you have to give up some of the elation when they win. Everything has a price.

If you're playing the game you should experience the full range of emotions but if you are watching someone else play for a team you are not part of, you need to exercise control over your emotions from the start otherwise you're setting yourself up for an inevitable disaster over something you had no control over or influence upon.

People need to learn to put themselves first and take mcare of their own feelings because the teams certainly aren't going to - they hagve their own problems.

 

[kmd24]

You are right, it's a choice but in order not to feel crushed when the team loses, you have to give up some of the elation when they win. Everything has a price.

It doesn't have to be that way. It's not for me. I still enjoy wins as much as I ever did. Why wouldn't I?

 

[CaptainAmerica]

This is one of the best things I've ever read about the Cowboys and perfectly explains how I feel about this team.

 

[yimyammer]

Though I understand why fans feel the way they do after losses, I don't choose to feel that way. I'm just happy to have a team that I love to watch compete. If they win, it's a great rush, but if they lose, oh well, try again next time.

There's no glory in causing yourself anguish in the name of fanhood. You feel how you choose to feel.

God bless ya brotha, you have more self control than I do.

I don't know how I chose to wake up with a pit in my stomach Sunday morning, but when I realized why I had it, I chose not to think about the Cowboys and it went away. However, everytime I think about this team, I immediately feel a sense of disgust and meloncholy because I miss how the teams of the 70's & early 90's played

 

[yimyammer]

I agree with everything in this post (great post, BTW) except for the inability to enjoy a win. I don't understand that. As hard as it is to be successful in the NFL, I enjoy every single victory whether it's by one point or 40.

Oh I enjoy the win and I especially enjoy savoring it all week long after the win as I read forums and various websites and dream about how they'll do in the next game.

I'm just saying the pain of the loss feels more powerful than the joy of the win. Does that make any sense?

 

[yimyammer]

BS. I'm far from a casual fan, and I used to tear myself up after every loss. Then I realized that I was doing it to myself.

Even for the players, it's the same. Failing is a part of life. It's how you deal with the adversity that matters. Wanting to win so bad that you do everything you can to win and feeling anguish over losses are orthogonal concepts, but for some reason most people assume they're correlated. You can be a fierce competitor without beating yourself up over losing.

In poker, getting angry or upset over losing usually leads to mistakes. Learning the difference between wanting to win (positive) and hating to lose (negative) helped me to achieve better results, and I suspect the same applies in competitive sports, although I've never played at a professional level. The difference is at the heart of the adage about playing to win versus playing not to lose.

Thus while I suck.....although as I have become more knowledgeable of the proper play to make in the various situations, I have found that the tilt factor has basically disappeared. I just wish I had the youthful ambition and determination to get really great at the game. Not sure it's worth the effort these days with the poker boom being dead, the economy hurting and the competition at its highest level ever. I still dream about it though...I played in the WSOP main event in 06' have you ever played in it?

 

[TNCowboy]

Sunday night at the Meadowlands...John Fox is 3-3 on the road with an unfavorable wind fighting his kicker...Steve Smith just negates a long run with a holding penalty...about a minute to go...Fox elects to stay on the ground and leave it for a 50 yard field goal try...perhaps, knowing that he has overtime in his pockets, he plays not to lose, thereby handing the momentum back to the Giants, who went on to win the coin-toss and thus the game...he had to know that his defense was gassed by then...they had surrendered 200 yards rushing but still held an advantage having the ball last and driving in NY territory...he chose a tired defense against an aggressive offense in scoring range and paid the price...perhaps that is the reason why he is now 3-4 on the road this year...

I would add that Smith was committing the penalty almost from the snap. He was only a few yards down field when he started his bearhug of the defender, and yet they marked it off from 7 yards downfield. If they had marked it where they should have, it would have been 1st and 17 or so instead of 1st and 13, and they probably would've been - by field position - required to be a bit more aggressive to get into field goal range.

 

[InDakWeTrust]

I have got to say that after the Bills and Lions' wins last year, I probably could have been kicked in the you know what and still had a fat smile on my face.

And to the OP, that tidbit is what made me a fan, watching my Uncle cry when the Giants and Commanders beat them in the SB, then watching the "team with a cool helmet" (which is what I liked when I was 4 and 5) beat them and make me smile like after those Lion and Bills games.

 

[Big Dakota]

The tears of sadness are always worth the tears of joy with anything good in life and the Cowboys have been one of the very best things in my life for 32 years when i chose them at the age of 9 and will be till the day i die. To me it's worth every second i spend living and dying with my Boys and it's a commitment i take as seriously as my commitment to my maker, my family and my livelihood. I may get angry with them from time to time but i could no sooner walk away from them, than i could walk away from my family because i consider the Cowboys family.