The30YardSlant
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I have a message for our beloved crossdressers in the nation's capital. I would appreciate it if someone who goes to their site would link up and send them a message for me.
I want to tell them that I admire them. I admire the fact that they are better fans than we are. I admire them because they've been through so much these past years.
Richie Petitbon, Norv Turner, Terry Robiskie, Marty Schottenheimer, Steve Spurrier, the return of Joe Gibbs that never should have been, Daniel Snyder, and now Jim Zorn.
Why can't we get better coaches here, they ask? Why can't we get better players to come here? Why can't we get more media recognition? We pray, we pay, we cheer, we wear burgandy and gold, we travel from all over, we fly our little flags with our little foam fingers. We care. We want to win.
I have the answer to these questions. You can read my response and then go have a better life with the satisfaction of having this knowledge.
The reason you can't have better coaches and better players and better seasons is simple....
You're the Commanders.
You're not the Cowboys or the Patriots or the Steelers. You're not even close. You won a few titles back in the 80s (for the sake of argument, I'll even give you the strike shortened title *snicker*) and havent done squat since. You can't even compete with Philly anymore, whom has no titles. Ever. New York? Forget it. I know you're all passionate.
But you're the Commanders.
I know you think I'm just running smack, but really I'm not.
You're the Commanders.
Say it.
I'm a Commander fan.
I'm a Commander fan.
You're getting it.
I'm a Commander fan. I beat Dallas every now and then. Not much better against the other NFC East teams lately. I'm not going to get any better. Really. I'm not. I'm a Commanders fan, trapped in an almost 2 decade period of perpetual mediocrity.
I'm that kid that nobody picked to be on their team. But at that Fall Festival that year, I paid my $10 and dunked the captain of the football team in that dunking booth when he laughed at me for throwing like a girl. And it felt good.
I'm a Commander fan.
I cheer for a team in one of the filiest, most crime ridden cities in America. Even Craig T. Nelson couldnt get a handle on your city, and they kicked him off the air...
I'm a Commander fan.
You constantly run smack against father Dallas, but luckily, with this message, you can begin to break this habit.
You're not getting any better.
You'll never be worth mentioning on ESPN except when you take your annual arsekickings by your 3 superiors in the NFC East.
You're the Commanders.
And you'll be watching your daddies during the playoffs.
Decorate your trees and trim them with the burgandy and gold. Spend Christmas with nighttime dreams of candy canes, Jolly St. Nick and an upset at Texas Stadium.
And then wake up. Take a whizz. Comb your hair. Kiss your kids.
And then remember what I told you.
You're the Commanders.
I want to tell them that I admire them. I admire the fact that they are better fans than we are. I admire them because they've been through so much these past years.
Richie Petitbon, Norv Turner, Terry Robiskie, Marty Schottenheimer, Steve Spurrier, the return of Joe Gibbs that never should have been, Daniel Snyder, and now Jim Zorn.
Why can't we get better coaches here, they ask? Why can't we get better players to come here? Why can't we get more media recognition? We pray, we pay, we cheer, we wear burgandy and gold, we travel from all over, we fly our little flags with our little foam fingers. We care. We want to win.
I have the answer to these questions. You can read my response and then go have a better life with the satisfaction of having this knowledge.
The reason you can't have better coaches and better players and better seasons is simple....
You're the Commanders.
You're not the Cowboys or the Patriots or the Steelers. You're not even close. You won a few titles back in the 80s (for the sake of argument, I'll even give you the strike shortened title *snicker*) and havent done squat since. You can't even compete with Philly anymore, whom has no titles. Ever. New York? Forget it. I know you're all passionate.
But you're the Commanders.
I know you think I'm just running smack, but really I'm not.
You're the Commanders.
Say it.
I'm a Commander fan.
I'm a Commander fan.
You're getting it.
I'm a Commander fan. I beat Dallas every now and then. Not much better against the other NFC East teams lately. I'm not going to get any better. Really. I'm not. I'm a Commanders fan, trapped in an almost 2 decade period of perpetual mediocrity.
I'm that kid that nobody picked to be on their team. But at that Fall Festival that year, I paid my $10 and dunked the captain of the football team in that dunking booth when he laughed at me for throwing like a girl. And it felt good.
I'm a Commander fan.
I cheer for a team in one of the filiest, most crime ridden cities in America. Even Craig T. Nelson couldnt get a handle on your city, and they kicked him off the air...
I'm a Commander fan.
You constantly run smack against father Dallas, but luckily, with this message, you can begin to break this habit.
You're not getting any better.
You'll never be worth mentioning on ESPN except when you take your annual arsekickings by your 3 superiors in the NFC East.
You're the Commanders.
And you'll be watching your daddies during the playoffs.
Decorate your trees and trim them with the burgandy and gold. Spend Christmas with nighttime dreams of candy canes, Jolly St. Nick and an upset at Texas Stadium.
And then wake up. Take a whizz. Comb your hair. Kiss your kids.
And then remember what I told you.
You're the Commanders.
