Gryphon
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Commissioner for a Day
Peter King, SI.com
This is not as laughable as you might think. The NFL is as close to flawless as any sports league in America -- big surprise there -- but the key word there is "close." I can make it better. I can make it perfect. I can out-Tagliabue Paul Tagliabue. And here goes.
1. Expand the regular season to 18 games: Cut the preseason to two games, and expand the regular season by two. Now, I understand how football's a war of attrition, and so you'd have to adjust how teams play the game. So expand the rosters to have every one of the 53 players on the active roster active for each game, instead of only 45. This would give the best players, theoretically, the opportunity to play fewer plays and give each player a better chance to last 18 games. Of course, you'd have to pay the players more because they'd be performing for two more games, but that's for another day. I'm only the commissioner for a day, not a mathematician.
2. Pass a bylaw prohibiting playoff expansion: Twelve teams is enough. It's almost perfect, by the way. Any more, and you risk an 8-8 team in the hockey-like postseason every year. And because some teams that win 10 will occasionally miss the playoffs, the sentiment will be there every year to expand the postseason. So the NFL should act right now and make it next to impossible to ever have a playoff field bigger than 12 teams.
3. Make long field goals more valuable: Simple: Any field goal 50 yards or further is worth four points. No traditionalist would want it. But no traditionalist wanted the three-point shot in basketball, and look how much fun it is to see Dwyane Wade or Vince Carter go wild from 28 feet. Electric stuff. Imagine the Lincoln Financial Field crowd at a 14-10 game, Philadelphia trailing Dallas, late fourth quarter, Eagles' ball, fourth-and-six at the Cowboy 35. "A-kers! A-kers! A-kers!" the crowd shouts, serenading David Akers as he runs on the field. And now the game's in his hands. Or on his foot. It'd add value to the long field goal, and make more games competitive late.
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4. Take NFL Sunday Ticket off the dish and put it on digital cable: There are too many people -- like me -- who will never get a dish because digital cable is so good. Makes no sense. How many of those people have no intention of going through the gyrations to get a dish just so they can have every NFL game in their house on 17 Sundays? I don't care what the NFL is making off the dish. The league would make more on digital cable -- and what's more, more people would watch more football. My theory, anyway.
5. Stop the love affair with Los Angeles: Just stop it. I was in L.A. in April and conducted my own unscientific poll at an Irish pub (the L.A. Red Sox bar) in Santa Monica: Do you want an NFL team here? Now, most of the people in there were twentysomethings on their fourth Harp or Red Hook, but I didn't hear one enthusiastic response. And that's half of the demographic the NFL wants. The other half -- the big-moneyed -- will support a franchise. But I don't think the populace will. And the NFL hasn't been hurt by it since the Raiders and Rams left.
6. Put more mikes on players and officials, and put the game on a seven-second delay: There's still an antiseptic feel to games, and you know what fans want. They want to be closer to the action. The way to do that, simply, is to make the field closer to the living room. By putting the seven-second delay on, you'd have a red button in every control truck to knock out the curse words. The game would be more alive, more organic.
7. Let players wear the numbers of their choice -- with an asterisk: Allow players to purchase the number they wish for $250,000. One-time fee. That $250,000, which players could write off, would go into a pool to benefit 10 charities to be agreed upon by the players' association and the league. And once a year, the league would cut an equal check to each charity. So imagine a player changes teams, or a draft choice comes on a new team, and he wants to wear an odd number. Reggie Bush with number 5, for instance. Imagine you've got 20 of those guys per year. And new commissioner Roger Goodell appears in the Lower Ninth Ward of New Orleans to hand a check for $500,000 to Habitat for Humanity, which guarantees to build 100 homes in 30 days with the money. Gee, the more I write about this, the more I like it.
8. Prohibit the moving of the Saints for five years: Make this a "for the good of the game" issue. It's ludicrous to think of kicking a city when it's so down. Now's the time to be a good neighbor and a loyal corporate partner, not greedy.
9. Put two computer chips in the football, and make the goal line, in essence, capable of sending a signal when the football touches the plane of the goal line: Let's just call this "The Ben Roethlisberger Rule."
10. Make the Super Bowl the best two out of three: Ha! Made you look. Just kidding. I may be commissioner, but I'm not that stupid.
Peter King, SI.com
This is not as laughable as you might think. The NFL is as close to flawless as any sports league in America -- big surprise there -- but the key word there is "close." I can make it better. I can make it perfect. I can out-Tagliabue Paul Tagliabue. And here goes.
1. Expand the regular season to 18 games: Cut the preseason to two games, and expand the regular season by two. Now, I understand how football's a war of attrition, and so you'd have to adjust how teams play the game. So expand the rosters to have every one of the 53 players on the active roster active for each game, instead of only 45. This would give the best players, theoretically, the opportunity to play fewer plays and give each player a better chance to last 18 games. Of course, you'd have to pay the players more because they'd be performing for two more games, but that's for another day. I'm only the commissioner for a day, not a mathematician.
2. Pass a bylaw prohibiting playoff expansion: Twelve teams is enough. It's almost perfect, by the way. Any more, and you risk an 8-8 team in the hockey-like postseason every year. And because some teams that win 10 will occasionally miss the playoffs, the sentiment will be there every year to expand the postseason. So the NFL should act right now and make it next to impossible to ever have a playoff field bigger than 12 teams.
3. Make long field goals more valuable: Simple: Any field goal 50 yards or further is worth four points. No traditionalist would want it. But no traditionalist wanted the three-point shot in basketball, and look how much fun it is to see Dwyane Wade or Vince Carter go wild from 28 feet. Electric stuff. Imagine the Lincoln Financial Field crowd at a 14-10 game, Philadelphia trailing Dallas, late fourth quarter, Eagles' ball, fourth-and-six at the Cowboy 35. "A-kers! A-kers! A-kers!" the crowd shouts, serenading David Akers as he runs on the field. And now the game's in his hands. Or on his foot. It'd add value to the long field goal, and make more games competitive late.
ADVERTISEMENT
4. Take NFL Sunday Ticket off the dish and put it on digital cable: There are too many people -- like me -- who will never get a dish because digital cable is so good. Makes no sense. How many of those people have no intention of going through the gyrations to get a dish just so they can have every NFL game in their house on 17 Sundays? I don't care what the NFL is making off the dish. The league would make more on digital cable -- and what's more, more people would watch more football. My theory, anyway.
5. Stop the love affair with Los Angeles: Just stop it. I was in L.A. in April and conducted my own unscientific poll at an Irish pub (the L.A. Red Sox bar) in Santa Monica: Do you want an NFL team here? Now, most of the people in there were twentysomethings on their fourth Harp or Red Hook, but I didn't hear one enthusiastic response. And that's half of the demographic the NFL wants. The other half -- the big-moneyed -- will support a franchise. But I don't think the populace will. And the NFL hasn't been hurt by it since the Raiders and Rams left.
6. Put more mikes on players and officials, and put the game on a seven-second delay: There's still an antiseptic feel to games, and you know what fans want. They want to be closer to the action. The way to do that, simply, is to make the field closer to the living room. By putting the seven-second delay on, you'd have a red button in every control truck to knock out the curse words. The game would be more alive, more organic.
7. Let players wear the numbers of their choice -- with an asterisk: Allow players to purchase the number they wish for $250,000. One-time fee. That $250,000, which players could write off, would go into a pool to benefit 10 charities to be agreed upon by the players' association and the league. And once a year, the league would cut an equal check to each charity. So imagine a player changes teams, or a draft choice comes on a new team, and he wants to wear an odd number. Reggie Bush with number 5, for instance. Imagine you've got 20 of those guys per year. And new commissioner Roger Goodell appears in the Lower Ninth Ward of New Orleans to hand a check for $500,000 to Habitat for Humanity, which guarantees to build 100 homes in 30 days with the money. Gee, the more I write about this, the more I like it.
8. Prohibit the moving of the Saints for five years: Make this a "for the good of the game" issue. It's ludicrous to think of kicking a city when it's so down. Now's the time to be a good neighbor and a loyal corporate partner, not greedy.
9. Put two computer chips in the football, and make the goal line, in essence, capable of sending a signal when the football touches the plane of the goal line: Let's just call this "The Ben Roethlisberger Rule."
10. Make the Super Bowl the best two out of three: Ha! Made you look. Just kidding. I may be commissioner, but I'm not that stupid.
