JonCJG
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PFT PIC OF THE DAY
The Tuna brings his fashion consultant to camp.
THE PFT ALL-TIME, ALL-TURD TEAM!
As promised, we've compiled a list of the all-time turdiest players in the NFL. We appreciate the hundreds of e-mails we received from readers who offered up ideas -- and either reminded us of guys we'd forgotten or pointed out players we didn't know about.
Here we go. The PFT All-Time, All-Turd roster:
Michael Irvin, WR, Cowboys: No one can dispute his talent or performance, but off of the field the guy was King Turd. Drugs, adultery, etc. Irvin pleaded no contest to felony cocaine possession charges in July 1996.
Lance Rentzel, WR, Vikings, Cowboys, Rams: Arrested for exposing himself to a 10-year-old girl. Even worse, he married Joey Heatherton.
Rae Carruth, WR, Panthers: Decided to avoid 18 years of paying out the rear end by having the baby and the mother killed. (Fortunately, the child survived.) So Rae will instead spend the next 18 years or so paying up the rear end.
Michael Westbrook, WR, Commanders: One of the all-time first-round receiver busts whose most memorable moment was beating the crap out of Stephen Davis in 1997.
Andre Rison, WR, It's Easier To List the Teams He Didn't Play For: Rison had a long-time Romeo-and-Juliet thing going with Lisa Lopes of the hip-hop trio TLC, but their relationship exhibited some of the deleted scenes from the Bard's final draft -- such as Juliet putting all of Romeo's shoes in the tub, setting them on fire, and consequently burning down his house, and Romeo shooting a gun at Rosencrantz and Guildenstern after they tried to break up a fight between the two star-crossed lovers. Rison also has been arrested on several occasions for failing to pay child support. (Hey, at least he didn't try to have the kids and/or their mothers killed.)
Randy Moss, WR, Vikings and Raiders: Though Moss qualified only for "Dishonorable Mention" on the current All-Turd roster due to a year or so without any seriously bad behavior, Randy is one of the all-time miscreants in league history. He plummeted to No. 21 in the 1998 draft after a string of character issues from high school and college. (A guy has to work pretty damn hard, after all, to get kicked out of Florida State.) He kept quiet during a stellar rookie season, but Randy has been in trouble for squirting water at an official, berating a team sponsor, knocking over a traffic control officer with his car, conceding that he takes plays off, admitting to smoking marijuana once in a "blue moon," and pretending to show his own moon to the fans in the end zone seats during a playoff win at Lambeau.
Terrell Owens, WR, 49ers, Eagles, Cowboys: Single-handedly turned a Super Bowl contender into an also-ran with his selfishness, narcissism, and greed.
Albert Connell, WR, Commanders, Saints: Re-defined rookie hazing as "stealing the dude's money."
Mark Chmura, TE, Packers: Despite being acquitted on charges of sexual assault, Chewy's prom-night cavorting with 17-year-old girl is beyond shameful.
Zeke Mowatt, TE, Patriots: Sued for exposing himself and making lewd comments to a female reporter in the locker room; among the tamest of the remarks, "I'll show you a patriot missile."
Tony Mandarich, OT, Packers: Arguably the biggest draft bust of all time, Mandarich was selected with the No. 2 overall pick in 1989. The next three picks? Barry Sanders. Derrick Thomas. Deion Sanders.
Kenyatta Jones, OT, Patriots, Commanders: Busted in college for "displaying a firearm" inside a night club, Jones broke from the same-old rap sheet entries by throwing boiling water on his roommate while said roommate was on the toilet.
Luis Sharpe, OT, Cardinals: Addicted to crack while playing in the NFL. (We were tempted to give him a pass, since playing for the Cardinals likely would drive us to find comfort via chemicals, too.)
Nate Newton, G, Cowboys: Arrested for marijuana possession. 213 pounds of it. Five weeks later, he got busted again with "only" 175 pounds.
Conrad Dobler, G, Cardinals: "When I hit a guy, I hit him in the throat. He doesn't have any pads on his throat."
Carleton Haselrig, G, Steelers, Jets: Pro Bowler who didn't play college football threw his career away with alcohol and drug problems. Ultimately went to jail after pleading guilty to driving his four-wheel-drive vehicle on the grounds of a Pittsburgh seminary.
Barret Robbins, C, Raiders: Disappeared on the eve of Super Bowl XXXVII, got into a shoot-out with Miami police two years later, was arrested on marijuana possession charges while awaiting trial.
Eddie Griffin, C, Timberwolves: Okay, so the guy doesn't play football. But in light of allegations that he wrecked his car while driving drunk, watching porn on a dashboard DVD player, and simultaneously . . . um . . . rubbing the loin lamp forces us to make an exception.
O.J. Simpson, RB, Bills, 49ers: Though he was acquitted of murdering his ex-wife and some dude who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, a civil jury later found that the Juice had killed them. Many believe that his vow to find the "real" killer was a hollow gesture; we think Simpson honors his commitment every morning at the bathroom mirror.
Lawrence Phillips, RB, Rams, Dolphins, Barcelona Dragons, 49ers, Montreal Alouettes, Calgary Stampeders: Dragged a girlfriend down a flight of steps by her hair during his days at Nebraska, yet still was the sixth overall selection in the 1996 draft. Rams coach Dick Vermeil cut him loose a year later, sparking an odyssey through three different football leagues that ended when he was booted by the 'Ettes and 'Peders in the same year.
Cecil Collins, RB, Dolphins: Showed his appreciation for coach Jimmy Johnson's decision to give him a chance despite a troubled past by getting arrested for burglary in December of his rookie -- and only -- NFL season.
Bam Morris, RB, Steelers, Ravens, Bears, Chiefs: One-time promising tailback with the Steelers who made the locals forget all about legends like Barry Foster and Tim "Joanne" Worley, Bam's career in the 'Burgh ended after he pleaded guilty to felony marijuana possession. Though he was only placed on probation, he couldn't find a way to stay on the right side of the law, eventually admitting to distributing 100 kilograms of marijuana in Kansas City. Now out of jail, Morris recently has indicated a desire to return to the NFL, which suggests to us that he's still smoking. Or worse.
Najeh Davenport, RB, Packers: One mistake shouldn't follow a guy for the rest of his life. Unless it's a really, really funny one. Najeh snuck into a woman's dorm room and pooped in the clothes hamper in her closet while she was sleeping. After Davenport accepted community service in order to settle the charges, "Dookie" still maintained his innocence: "Where's the evidence? Where's the manure?"
Onterrio Smith, RB, Vikings, Winnipeg Blue Bombers: The self-described "Steal of the Draft" in 2003 after falling to the fourth round due to a protracted love affair with that Mexican girl named Mary Jane, Smith introduced the word "Whizzinator" into the national discourse after airport security found a faux ***** in his luggage.
Maurice Clarett, RB, Broncos: Though he never played a down in the NFL, Mo-Clo did more than enough to secure his spot on the team. Suspended for his sophomore season at Ohio State, sued the NFL to gain early entry into the league, refused a signing bonus after surprisingly being taken by the Broncos in round three of the 2005 draft, rebuffed efforts by teammates to help him learn the NFL ropes, reportedly found with alcohol in the weight room, ultimately cut, got not a single sniff by any other team before being arrested for armed robbery, recently announced his decision to play in a fifth-rate indoor league in Ohio.
Jamal Lewis, RB, Ravens: Served time in jail for involvement in a drug deal the summer after he was drafted.
Duane Thomas, RB Cowboys: Piss-poor attitude and drug use killed a promising career. Thomas once said of the Super Bowl, "If it's the ultimate [game], how come they play it every year?"
Paul Hornung, RB, Packers: Suspended for an entire year due to gambling.
Ryan Leaf, QB, Chargers: Need further evidence of the imperfect nature of the draft? The Colts actually wrestled with the decision of whether to draft Leaf or Peyton Manning.
Todd Marinovich, QB, Raiders: Groomed from birth by his father to be an NFL quarterback, Marinovich realized his old man's dream. And then completely pissed it away.
Art Schlichter, QB, Colts: Chronic and compulsive gambler who was suspended for an entire season before his career flamed out.
Jeff George, QB, Colts, Raiders, Falcons, Vikings, Commanders, Seahawks: Me-first, me-only flamethrower with arm by NASA and body by Lego who was universally reviled by players, coaches, and the media. Except for Jason Whitlock and Len Pasquarelli.
Leonard Little, DE, Rams: Killed a woman while driving drunk.
Reggie Rogers, DE, Lions: Killed three teenagers after running a stop sign.
The Tuna brings his fashion consultant to camp.
THE PFT ALL-TIME, ALL-TURD TEAM!
As promised, we've compiled a list of the all-time turdiest players in the NFL. We appreciate the hundreds of e-mails we received from readers who offered up ideas -- and either reminded us of guys we'd forgotten or pointed out players we didn't know about.
Here we go. The PFT All-Time, All-Turd roster:
Michael Irvin, WR, Cowboys: No one can dispute his talent or performance, but off of the field the guy was King Turd. Drugs, adultery, etc. Irvin pleaded no contest to felony cocaine possession charges in July 1996.
Lance Rentzel, WR, Vikings, Cowboys, Rams: Arrested for exposing himself to a 10-year-old girl. Even worse, he married Joey Heatherton.
Rae Carruth, WR, Panthers: Decided to avoid 18 years of paying out the rear end by having the baby and the mother killed. (Fortunately, the child survived.) So Rae will instead spend the next 18 years or so paying up the rear end.
Michael Westbrook, WR, Commanders: One of the all-time first-round receiver busts whose most memorable moment was beating the crap out of Stephen Davis in 1997.
Andre Rison, WR, It's Easier To List the Teams He Didn't Play For: Rison had a long-time Romeo-and-Juliet thing going with Lisa Lopes of the hip-hop trio TLC, but their relationship exhibited some of the deleted scenes from the Bard's final draft -- such as Juliet putting all of Romeo's shoes in the tub, setting them on fire, and consequently burning down his house, and Romeo shooting a gun at Rosencrantz and Guildenstern after they tried to break up a fight between the two star-crossed lovers. Rison also has been arrested on several occasions for failing to pay child support. (Hey, at least he didn't try to have the kids and/or their mothers killed.)
Randy Moss, WR, Vikings and Raiders: Though Moss qualified only for "Dishonorable Mention" on the current All-Turd roster due to a year or so without any seriously bad behavior, Randy is one of the all-time miscreants in league history. He plummeted to No. 21 in the 1998 draft after a string of character issues from high school and college. (A guy has to work pretty damn hard, after all, to get kicked out of Florida State.) He kept quiet during a stellar rookie season, but Randy has been in trouble for squirting water at an official, berating a team sponsor, knocking over a traffic control officer with his car, conceding that he takes plays off, admitting to smoking marijuana once in a "blue moon," and pretending to show his own moon to the fans in the end zone seats during a playoff win at Lambeau.
Terrell Owens, WR, 49ers, Eagles, Cowboys: Single-handedly turned a Super Bowl contender into an also-ran with his selfishness, narcissism, and greed.
Albert Connell, WR, Commanders, Saints: Re-defined rookie hazing as "stealing the dude's money."
Mark Chmura, TE, Packers: Despite being acquitted on charges of sexual assault, Chewy's prom-night cavorting with 17-year-old girl is beyond shameful.
Zeke Mowatt, TE, Patriots: Sued for exposing himself and making lewd comments to a female reporter in the locker room; among the tamest of the remarks, "I'll show you a patriot missile."
Tony Mandarich, OT, Packers: Arguably the biggest draft bust of all time, Mandarich was selected with the No. 2 overall pick in 1989. The next three picks? Barry Sanders. Derrick Thomas. Deion Sanders.
Kenyatta Jones, OT, Patriots, Commanders: Busted in college for "displaying a firearm" inside a night club, Jones broke from the same-old rap sheet entries by throwing boiling water on his roommate while said roommate was on the toilet.
Luis Sharpe, OT, Cardinals: Addicted to crack while playing in the NFL. (We were tempted to give him a pass, since playing for the Cardinals likely would drive us to find comfort via chemicals, too.)
Nate Newton, G, Cowboys: Arrested for marijuana possession. 213 pounds of it. Five weeks later, he got busted again with "only" 175 pounds.
Conrad Dobler, G, Cardinals: "When I hit a guy, I hit him in the throat. He doesn't have any pads on his throat."
Carleton Haselrig, G, Steelers, Jets: Pro Bowler who didn't play college football threw his career away with alcohol and drug problems. Ultimately went to jail after pleading guilty to driving his four-wheel-drive vehicle on the grounds of a Pittsburgh seminary.
Barret Robbins, C, Raiders: Disappeared on the eve of Super Bowl XXXVII, got into a shoot-out with Miami police two years later, was arrested on marijuana possession charges while awaiting trial.
Eddie Griffin, C, Timberwolves: Okay, so the guy doesn't play football. But in light of allegations that he wrecked his car while driving drunk, watching porn on a dashboard DVD player, and simultaneously . . . um . . . rubbing the loin lamp forces us to make an exception.
O.J. Simpson, RB, Bills, 49ers: Though he was acquitted of murdering his ex-wife and some dude who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, a civil jury later found that the Juice had killed them. Many believe that his vow to find the "real" killer was a hollow gesture; we think Simpson honors his commitment every morning at the bathroom mirror.
Lawrence Phillips, RB, Rams, Dolphins, Barcelona Dragons, 49ers, Montreal Alouettes, Calgary Stampeders: Dragged a girlfriend down a flight of steps by her hair during his days at Nebraska, yet still was the sixth overall selection in the 1996 draft. Rams coach Dick Vermeil cut him loose a year later, sparking an odyssey through three different football leagues that ended when he was booted by the 'Ettes and 'Peders in the same year.
Cecil Collins, RB, Dolphins: Showed his appreciation for coach Jimmy Johnson's decision to give him a chance despite a troubled past by getting arrested for burglary in December of his rookie -- and only -- NFL season.
Bam Morris, RB, Steelers, Ravens, Bears, Chiefs: One-time promising tailback with the Steelers who made the locals forget all about legends like Barry Foster and Tim "Joanne" Worley, Bam's career in the 'Burgh ended after he pleaded guilty to felony marijuana possession. Though he was only placed on probation, he couldn't find a way to stay on the right side of the law, eventually admitting to distributing 100 kilograms of marijuana in Kansas City. Now out of jail, Morris recently has indicated a desire to return to the NFL, which suggests to us that he's still smoking. Or worse.
Najeh Davenport, RB, Packers: One mistake shouldn't follow a guy for the rest of his life. Unless it's a really, really funny one. Najeh snuck into a woman's dorm room and pooped in the clothes hamper in her closet while she was sleeping. After Davenport accepted community service in order to settle the charges, "Dookie" still maintained his innocence: "Where's the evidence? Where's the manure?"
Onterrio Smith, RB, Vikings, Winnipeg Blue Bombers: The self-described "Steal of the Draft" in 2003 after falling to the fourth round due to a protracted love affair with that Mexican girl named Mary Jane, Smith introduced the word "Whizzinator" into the national discourse after airport security found a faux ***** in his luggage.
Maurice Clarett, RB, Broncos: Though he never played a down in the NFL, Mo-Clo did more than enough to secure his spot on the team. Suspended for his sophomore season at Ohio State, sued the NFL to gain early entry into the league, refused a signing bonus after surprisingly being taken by the Broncos in round three of the 2005 draft, rebuffed efforts by teammates to help him learn the NFL ropes, reportedly found with alcohol in the weight room, ultimately cut, got not a single sniff by any other team before being arrested for armed robbery, recently announced his decision to play in a fifth-rate indoor league in Ohio.
Jamal Lewis, RB, Ravens: Served time in jail for involvement in a drug deal the summer after he was drafted.
Duane Thomas, RB Cowboys: Piss-poor attitude and drug use killed a promising career. Thomas once said of the Super Bowl, "If it's the ultimate [game], how come they play it every year?"
Paul Hornung, RB, Packers: Suspended for an entire year due to gambling.
Ryan Leaf, QB, Chargers: Need further evidence of the imperfect nature of the draft? The Colts actually wrestled with the decision of whether to draft Leaf or Peyton Manning.
Todd Marinovich, QB, Raiders: Groomed from birth by his father to be an NFL quarterback, Marinovich realized his old man's dream. And then completely pissed it away.
Art Schlichter, QB, Colts: Chronic and compulsive gambler who was suspended for an entire season before his career flamed out.
Jeff George, QB, Colts, Raiders, Falcons, Vikings, Commanders, Seahawks: Me-first, me-only flamethrower with arm by NASA and body by Lego who was universally reviled by players, coaches, and the media. Except for Jason Whitlock and Len Pasquarelli.
Leonard Little, DE, Rams: Killed a woman while driving drunk.
Reggie Rogers, DE, Lions: Killed three teenagers after running a stop sign.
