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CCBoy

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Sigh....I work in Houston and wear one of those live strong type of Cowboys braclets. It has been on my wrist for the last 5 years or so. Never comes off, if im pissed at the team sometimes I flip it inside out lol. But I always wear it and I will tell you that it is an absolute crap magnet. I am constantly going at with Texan fans. They are ridiculous, haven't beat us in a decade and never done nothing, but they still want to talk over as much as a preseason victory over us lol. It makes winning very personal.
 
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Fat Tony~on the simpsons

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Q:Why can't Sam Bradford use the phone anymore?
A: Because he can't find the receiver.

Q: Did you hear about the joke that Sam Bradford told his receivers?
A: It went over their heads.

Q. How are the Eagles like my neighbors?
A. They can't pick up a single yard!

Q: Want to hear a Eagles joke?
A: Brent Celek!

Q: Why is Brent Celek like a grizzly bear?
A: Every fall he goes into hibernation.

Q: What is white, black, and blue?
A: Riley Cooper at a Jay-Z concert.

Q: What's the best part about dating an Eagles fan?
A: She won't be asking for a ring!

Q: How many Eagles fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None they are happy living in Dallas' shadow!

Q: What is Michael Vick's latest excuse?
A: The ***** set me up!

Q: What did the Giants say to the Eagles?
A: Look at my Super bowl Ring

Q: What do the Philadelphia Eagles and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common?
A: Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.

Q: Whats worse than being a dog in a animal shelter?
A: Being adopted by Michael Vick!

Q: How do you know the Pennsylvania State Police are seriously enforcing the Speed Limits into Philadelphia.
A: For the first offense, they give you two Eagles tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.

Q: What did the Eagles fan say after his team won the Super Bowl?
A: "****** mom, why'd you wake me up? I was having an amazing dream!"

Q: How many Philadelphia Eagles does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A: Nobody knows and we may never find out!

Q: What do you call an Philadelphia Eagle with a Super Bowl ring?
A: A thief.

Q: What's the difference between the Philadelphia Eagles and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: What do the Philadelphia Eagles and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: What is the difference between a Philadelphia Eagles fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: How many Philadelphia Eagles does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

Q: What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The Philadelphia Eagles.

Q: What do the Philadelphia Eagles and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

Q: How do you keep an Philadelphia Eagles out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.

Q: What do the Eagles and the Post Office have in common?
A: Neither deliver on Sundays!

Q: Why are so many Philadelphia Eagles players claiming they have the Swine Flu?
A: So They don't have to touch the pigskin!

Q: What is a Philadelphia Eagles fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat New York."

Q: How do you stop an Philadelphia Eagles fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in New Orleans Black and Gold!

Q: What is th difference between a bucket of **** and a Philadelphia Eagles fan?
A: The bucket.

Q: If you have a car containing an Eagles wide receiver, an Eagles linebacker, and an Eagles defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

Q: How do you casterate an Philadelphia Eagles fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q: What should you do if you find three Philadelphia Eagles football fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

Q: What's the difference between an Philadelphia Eagles fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q. How did the Philadelphia Eagles fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!

Q: What does an Philadelphia Eagles fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

Q: What do you call an Philadelphia Eagles in the Super Bowl?
A: A referee.

Q: Did you hear that Philadelphia's football team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

Q: How many Philadelphia Eagles fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!

Q: What does a Philadelphia Eagles fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why do Philadelphia Eagles fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: How do the Eagles spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

Q: How do you keep a Eagles fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick New Orleans gold and he won't beat it for 4 years!

Q: Why do the Philadelphia Eagles want to change their name to the Atlanta Tampons?
A: Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!

Q: What's the difference between the Philadelphia Eagles & the Taliban?
A: The Taliban has a running game!

Q: What's the best way to teach your dog to roll over and play dead?
A: Have him watch a couple Philadelphia Eagles games.
 
Q: Did you hear about the joke that Eli Manning told his receivers?
A: It went over their heads.

Q: Why can't Eli Manning use the phone anymore?
A: Because he can't find the receiver.

Q: Did you hear about the new Plaxico Burress cocktail?
A: Just one very expensive shot

Q: How many Giants fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None they are happy living in the Cowboys shadow!

Q: Why is Tom Coughlin (Giants Head Coach) glad Plaxico shot himself in the leg?
A: It was the first time he shot off something other than his mouth!

Q: Why is a Texas Billionaire buying the New York Giants and moving them to Virginia?
A: So he can call them the VaGiants

Q: What do the New York Giants and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common?
A: Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.

Q: What will happen if BP can stop the Gulf Oil Spill?
A: They will turn their attention to Lawrence Taylor!

Q: How did Lawrence Taylor meet an underage girl through a mutual acquaintance?
A: Ben Roethlisberger!

Q: What did the Giants fan say after his team won the Super Bowl?
A: "****** mom, why'd you wake me up? I was having an amazing dream!"

Q. How are the New York Giants like my neighbors?
A. They can't pick up a single yard!

Q: Want to hear a Giants joke?
A: Rashad Jennings!

Q: Why is Rashad Jennings like a grizzly bear?
A: Every fall he goes into hibernation.

Q: What's the difference between the New York Giants and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: What do the New York Giants and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: What is the difference between a Giants fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: How many New York Giants does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

Q: What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The New York Giants.

Q: Why did Plaxico Burress shoot himself?
A: It was the first time all year he managed to find his way around a safety and he just got too excited!

Q: Why shouldn't the New York Giants send Plaxico home packing?
A: He already is!

Q: What did Plaxico Burress say when Antonio Pierce asked to go clubbing?
A: "Only if I can ride shotgun!"

Q: What do the New York Giants and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

Q: How do you keep a New York Giant out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.

Q: Why are so many New York Giants players claiming they have the Swine Flu?
A: So They don't have to touch the pigskin!

Q: What is a New York Giants fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Philadelphia."

Q: How do you stop an New York Giants fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Philadelphia Green!

Q: What do the Giants and the Post Office have in common?
A: Neither deliver on Sundays!

Q: What's the best way to teach your dog to roll over and play dead?
A: Have him watch a couple New York Giants games.

Q: Did you see the porno with Kiera Knightley?
A: It's called "Bend It Like Odell Beckham"

Q: What is th difference between a bucket of **** and an New York Giants fan?
A: The bucket.

Q: If you have a car containing a Giants wide receiver, a Giants linebacker, and a Giants defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

Q: How do you casterate an New York Giants fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q: What should you do if you find three New York Giants football fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

Q: What's the difference between an New York Giants fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
 

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