Q:Why can't Sam Bradford use the phone anymore?
A: Because he can't find the receiver.
Q: Did you hear about the joke that Sam Bradford told his receivers?
A: It went over their heads.
Q. How are the Eagles like my neighbors?
A. They can't pick up a single yard!
Q: Want to hear a Eagles joke?
A: Brent Celek!
Q: Why is Brent Celek like a grizzly bear?
A: Every fall he goes into hibernation.
Q: What is white, black, and blue?
A: Riley Cooper at a Jay-Z concert.
Q: What's the best part about dating an Eagles fan?
A: She won't be asking for a ring!
Q: How many Eagles fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None they are happy living in Dallas' shadow!
Q: What is Michael Vick's latest excuse?
A: The ***** set me up!
Q: What did the Giants say to the Eagles?
A: Look at my Super bowl Ring
Q: What do the Philadelphia Eagles and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common?
A: Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.
Q: Whats worse than being a dog in a animal shelter?
A: Being adopted by Michael Vick!
Q: How do you know the Pennsylvania State Police are seriously enforcing the Speed Limits into Philadelphia.
A: For the first offense, they give you two Eagles tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.
Q: What did the Eagles fan say after his team won the Super Bowl?
A: "****** mom, why'd you wake me up? I was having an amazing dream!"
Q: How many Philadelphia Eagles does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A: Nobody knows and we may never find out!
Q: What do you call an Philadelphia Eagle with a Super Bowl ring?
A: A thief.
Q: What's the difference between the Philadelphia Eagles and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
Q: What do the Philadelphia Eagles and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
Q: What is the difference between a Philadelphia Eagles fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.
Q: How many Philadelphia Eagles does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up
Q: What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The Philadelphia Eagles.
Q: What do the Philadelphia Eagles and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".
Q: How do you keep an Philadelphia Eagles out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.
Q: What do the Eagles and the Post Office have in common?
A: Neither deliver on Sundays!
Q: Why are so many Philadelphia Eagles players claiming they have the Swine Flu?
A: So They don't have to touch the pigskin!
Q: What is a Philadelphia Eagles fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat New York."
Q: How do you stop an Philadelphia Eagles fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in New Orleans Black and Gold!
Q: What is th difference between a bucket of **** and a Philadelphia Eagles fan?
A: The bucket.
Q: If you have a car containing an Eagles wide receiver, an Eagles linebacker, and an Eagles defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
Q: How do you casterate an Philadelphia Eagles fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: What should you do if you find three Philadelphia Eagles football fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Q: What's the difference between an Philadelphia Eagles fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q. How did the Philadelphia Eagles fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
Q: What does an Philadelphia Eagles fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.
Q: What do you call an Philadelphia Eagles in the Super Bowl?
A: A referee.
Q: Did you hear that Philadelphia's football team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.
Q: How many Philadelphia Eagles fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!
Q: What does a Philadelphia Eagles fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: Why do Philadelphia Eagles fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: How do the Eagles spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights
Q: How do you keep a Eagles fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick New Orleans gold and he won't beat it for 4 years!
Q: Why do the Philadelphia Eagles want to change their name to the Atlanta Tampons?
A: Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!
Q: What's the difference between the Philadelphia Eagles & the Taliban?
A: The Taliban has a running game!
Q: What's the best way to teach your dog to roll over and play dead?
A: Have him watch a couple Philadelphia Eagles games.