It was early on a Sunday morning. The young boy had a rough week at school. It's not so much that he was anti-social, but the other school children found it difficult to see past his cleft palate and hereditary weight problem. Some of the other boys would ridicule, but what did they know about eating to combat the overwhelming depression, anyway?
Nothing, that's what.
And so the feelings of loneliness and despair crept ever closer to our young subject. But there was one place where he could feel alive, feel powerful.
The internet.
Yes, this daytime recluse with his jiggling midsection and face oftentimes well-hid under his low-slung Eagles cap faced much persecution by day. But by night, Oh...how the other Eagles fans looked up to him. And so it was that our young D'Artagnan entered his room, pulled up his highback mesh chair, cracked his pudgy fingers, and muttered to himself as he cracked a broken smile;
"These fairweather Cowboys fans won't know what hit them after I land this barrage of 'Tony Homo's' and 'Brokeback' heymakers. Let's get posting."