Should I seek revenge on the guy who stole my girl?

[Reverend Conehead]

You guys know that I'm a time traveler. Recently, I went back in time to ancient Egypt and had a passionate love affair with Cleopatra. Things were going great until this jerk named Mark Antony showed up and stole her from me. I've been licking my wounds trying to get over this. I'd bet Amber Heard went back in time, disguised herself as a servant, and talked her into dumping me for that other dude.
...
So I'm seeking advice. Should I go back in time to try to get my girl back or just let it slide? I do have other options. There's this Neanderthal chick named Moogloolillia from the Plesogoonieclubstine era that was into me, but I really didn't like that primitive prehistoric era.

 

[nobody]

Go back in time and trick Cleopatra into kissing an asp. That'll teach her.

 

[Reality]

You guys know that I'm a time traveler. Recently, I went back in time to ancient Egypt and had a passionate love affair with Cleopatra. Things were going great until this jerk named Mark Antony showed up and stole her from me. I've been licking my wounds trying to get over this. I'd bet Amber Heard went back in time, disguised herself as a servant, and talked her into dumping me for that other dude.
...
So I'm seeking advice. Should I go back in time to try to get my girl back or just let it slide? I do have other options. There's this Neanderthal chick named Moogloolillia from the Plesogoonieclubstine era that was into me, but I really didn't like that primitive prehistoric era.

Like I was telling you next week, traveling back to the past is just not worth the repercussions it would inflict on the rest of the world.