Something to lighten the mood around here

[dargonking999]

http://i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=20434

For those of you who think football players, baseball players and other sportsmen are dumb, here are the 15 funniest and most stupid sports quotes ever heard. Personally, I don't think that all are dumb, but some of them obviously have some words problems, see it yourself.

1. "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl."
Joe Jacoby, NFL Football player, of the Washington Commanders

2. "To win, I'd run over Joe's mom too."
Matt Millen of the Raiders, when he heard Joe Jacoby said 1.quote.

3. "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
(Can someone tell me, who the hack is Norman Einstein?)
Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann

4. "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh

5. " Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding."
Mickey Rivers, baseball player

6."I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece
7. "I've won at every level, except college and pro."

Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack of championships

8. "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road.. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."
Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record

9. "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice.

10. "But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet."
Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books

11. " He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins

12. "Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something."
Dennis Rodman, NBA Basketball player, on Chicago Bull's team chemistry being overrated

13. "I have a God-given talent. I got it from my dad."
Julian Wakefield, Missouri basketball player

14. "We talked five times. I called him twice, and he called me twice."
Larry Bowa, California Angels coach

15. "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."
Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King

 

[smarta5150]

Go see Borat. It will cheer you up.

 

[dargonking999]

Nah id stick to what i do best, just randomly doing things for fun

 

[YosemiteSam]

3. "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
(Can someone tell me, who the hack is Norman Einstein?)
Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann

That made me feel better. Just for the fact that a Commander said it. :laugh2:

 

[JPM]

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum...

 

[CrazyCowboy]

OK--I am ready for the Cardinals now!

 

[smarta5150]

Speak of the devil... there he is now.

 

[LittleBoyBlue]

Go see Borat. It will cheer you up.

LOL I was going to see it the other night and then got talked into watching that boring Mayweather fight

It looks hilarious

 

[dargonking999]

11 and 12 are just pure comedy