bud914
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At this time of year, we often see articles that provide "bold" predictions concerning the upcoming season and since I am bored at work and a bit of a follower, I thought I would get in on the action. If we look up "bold", we can see that "bold" is a word with many meanings. For my pREDictions (yes I know, I am as cheesy as I am clever – good for me), I am going to use the definition that states bold as being beyond the usual limits of conventional thought or action; imaginative. What fun are predictions if they don’t reach beyond what would be considered the norm.
1- Chip Kelly will take his "culture beats talent" mantra that prompted one of the most entertaining off-seasons that I can remember deep into the playoffs. How deep? So deep that it puts that *** to sleep . . . happily after the Eagles win their first Super Bowl and take the first step toward building a dynasty.
2- Former BGN overlord and current purveyor of MS Paint masterpieces Jimmy Kempski will come up with not 1, not 2, not 3 but at least 8 hilarious MS Paintings that encapsulate some off beat event that will happen during the season and prompt many of us to snicker, laugh, guffaw or flat out laugh out loud at his creation. Good bet that half of them will involve a helpless Kicker in one way or another.
3- BGN will set a record for site visits, page views and comments this season as a result of our inherent need to come on here for everything that BLG and the crew have to offer and our even more inherent need to comment, bicker, argue, REC and troll other team’s trolls that also come visit.
4- Of the major awards that are presented for individual achievement after the season, even though the Eagles will set record after record on the Offensive side of the ball, not a single one will be awarded to an Eagle player or coach because I am sure that only old-head, die-hard, so-called NFL people vote for them and it would be too hard for them to admit that someone came after them and found a way to do football better than they did and they will snub the Eagles out of spite.
5- Murray and Mathews both rush for 1000 yards and Sproles gets a 1000 if you add up all of his rushing, receiving and return yards. (Admittedly, this may not be that bold, but I believe it will happen).
6- National Pundits, analysts (sic) and talking heads that steadily puppet ignorance and stale narratives all over of our televisions will spend all season either fellating Chip’s lollipop about how great he has done with the Eagles and how his mad scientist, genius way is the next big thing in the League that everyone will try to copy or that this season’s success is simply a one year wonder and the rest of the League will catch up to him sooner rather than later and he will get booted back to College within a year or two, or as I like to call it, the Barnwell! As we have to come to learn, it’s one extreme or the other with Chip. The middle ground with Chip is so small that it could comfortably fit on top of your average thumb tack.
7- Bradford stays healthy and plays virtually the entire year, only taking plays off to let Sanchez close out a game or 5 in mop up duty.
8- Jon Gruden verbally orgasms at least 5 times on Monday night while talking about the Eagles offense and Bradford’s accuracy and how quickly we ******* score points. Tirico is going to need a raincoat.
9- Our Defense leads the league in sacks or turnovers or both. I think most games will play out this way; Our Offense scores early and often and our run defense shuts down other team’s rushing attacks to the point that other teams are going to have to pass to a lot and since our Defense will probably play more snaps than every other defense, they have more opportunity for sacks and turnovers and will capitalize on this opportunity. Don’t think B Graham gets his 32, but I do believe that he will be among the sack leaders.
10- This is going to be a very entertaining year for us Eagles fans. (Sorry, I ran out of pREDictions and this is admittedly a sorry *** pREDiction that is the exact opposite of bold)
Now that I have amused myself (self amusement is my third favorite sin, behind gluttony and vanity), I hope that some if not many of you will amuse me with your predictions or thoughts on mine. Hold nothing back, I want you to have me teetering between crying my eyes out and laughing my balls off.
Till next time folks.
1- Chip Kelly will take his "culture beats talent" mantra that prompted one of the most entertaining off-seasons that I can remember deep into the playoffs. How deep? So deep that it puts that *** to sleep . . . happily after the Eagles win their first Super Bowl and take the first step toward building a dynasty.
2- Former BGN overlord and current purveyor of MS Paint masterpieces Jimmy Kempski will come up with not 1, not 2, not 3 but at least 8 hilarious MS Paintings that encapsulate some off beat event that will happen during the season and prompt many of us to snicker, laugh, guffaw or flat out laugh out loud at his creation. Good bet that half of them will involve a helpless Kicker in one way or another.
3- BGN will set a record for site visits, page views and comments this season as a result of our inherent need to come on here for everything that BLG and the crew have to offer and our even more inherent need to comment, bicker, argue, REC and troll other team’s trolls that also come visit.
4- Of the major awards that are presented for individual achievement after the season, even though the Eagles will set record after record on the Offensive side of the ball, not a single one will be awarded to an Eagle player or coach because I am sure that only old-head, die-hard, so-called NFL people vote for them and it would be too hard for them to admit that someone came after them and found a way to do football better than they did and they will snub the Eagles out of spite.
5- Murray and Mathews both rush for 1000 yards and Sproles gets a 1000 if you add up all of his rushing, receiving and return yards. (Admittedly, this may not be that bold, but I believe it will happen).
6- National Pundits, analysts (sic) and talking heads that steadily puppet ignorance and stale narratives all over of our televisions will spend all season either fellating Chip’s lollipop about how great he has done with the Eagles and how his mad scientist, genius way is the next big thing in the League that everyone will try to copy or that this season’s success is simply a one year wonder and the rest of the League will catch up to him sooner rather than later and he will get booted back to College within a year or two, or as I like to call it, the Barnwell! As we have to come to learn, it’s one extreme or the other with Chip. The middle ground with Chip is so small that it could comfortably fit on top of your average thumb tack.
7- Bradford stays healthy and plays virtually the entire year, only taking plays off to let Sanchez close out a game or 5 in mop up duty.
8- Jon Gruden verbally orgasms at least 5 times on Monday night while talking about the Eagles offense and Bradford’s accuracy and how quickly we ******* score points. Tirico is going to need a raincoat.
9- Our Defense leads the league in sacks or turnovers or both. I think most games will play out this way; Our Offense scores early and often and our run defense shuts down other team’s rushing attacks to the point that other teams are going to have to pass to a lot and since our Defense will probably play more snaps than every other defense, they have more opportunity for sacks and turnovers and will capitalize on this opportunity. Don’t think B Graham gets his 32, but I do believe that he will be among the sack leaders.
10- This is going to be a very entertaining year for us Eagles fans. (Sorry, I ran out of pREDictions and this is admittedly a sorry *** pREDiction that is the exact opposite of bold)
Now that I have amused myself (self amusement is my third favorite sin, behind gluttony and vanity), I hope that some if not many of you will amuse me with your predictions or thoughts on mine. Hold nothing back, I want you to have me teetering between crying my eyes out and laughing my balls off.
Till next time folks.
