Bringing back an old blast of mine.
************
I just want to thank the Big Man above that a Commanders fan was dumb enough to post this invitation to a butt kicking today.
Over the years I have found that Commanders fans like to talk smack about a couple of things. This has always cracked me up a little bit, because the things they choose to wax poetic about show an incredible lack of knowledge about the History of their own team.
Okay, hopefully your interest is now piqued and you can enjoy the real facts. What are the weak attempts at smack that I speak of? Hey, glad you asked. The first one is about Michael Irvin and his arrest for cocaine. They call us the "Crack Boys" and I've even heard Irvin called "Coke Machine." I admit, that's kind of funny. The other is about a movie called Brokeback Mountain, and they make references to Aikman being gay and call our QB, "Tony Homo."
You've all heard these things. How about we expose the jabs for the weak little girl punches they really are?
Let's start with the notion that Michael Irvin is evidence that our whole team is cocaine addicts. Michael Irvin was arrested for cocaine possession in the 1996 off season. He pled nolo contendre, or no contest, to those charges. He never spent time in jail for it. He was fined $10,000, and was on probation for 4 years. He was also suspended for 5 games even though he never failed an NFL drug test. That's right, he never failed one.
There have been other allegations that shadowed Irvin after this but each time none of those allegations have materialized as being as bad as this incident. Now you can certainly disrespect Irvin's actions here and you would be right to. He was wrong and he knows he was wrong. You heard him say so in his Hall of Fame speech.
How about we discuss a guy so wrapped in cocaine that he interrupted a Hall of Fame career and never got back on track? His name was Dexter Manley, and he without a doubt was one of the most disruptive DEs ever to play the game. If you like pure football talent, you liked watching Dexter Manley. Not only was he a great player, he was engaging and fun. He also had a very dark companion, cocaine.
In 1986, a full 10 years BEFORE Irvin was arrested Dexter Manley got hooked. In fact he got hooked so bad that his drug use caused him to have a cyst on his brain that he had to have surgery on a year ago and has caused him some memory loss.
Manley revealed he learned about the cyst way back in 1986 when he was so lit up that he collapsed in a department store and hit his head. How wrapped up in coke was Manley? He now says he is $12 million dollars in debt because of his addict lifestyle. That's right folks, 12 with 6 zeros.
Manley tested positive for cocaine 4 times and in 1991 was suspended from the NFL for life. He spent the last 2 years of his playing days in the CFL.
Now, someone is going to bring it up if I don't, Manley also admitted he was illiterate even though he graduated from college. That's right, he couldn't read or write. Some may mock this. I won't. I respect Manley for having the courage to reveal this and to actually learn. It is however tragic that he had to learn to do these things in prison. He was sentenced to 4 years in prison and served 2 of the 4.
The bottom line is this, mocking Michael Irvin while at the same time turning a blind eye to one of your own is pretty stupid. I would also like to point out that to my knowledge no Mayor of Dallas, or Irving, or Arlington has ever been videotaped in a hotel room smoking crack with a hooker. Google Marion Barry if you don't know what I am talking about. You can certainly ask if Laura Miller was on crack to let the Cowboys leave town, Marion Barry actually was.
Moving on to the homosexual nonsense they like to reference. The last time I checked Brokeback Mountain was a movie. In other words, fiction. For those who don't know (apparently many Skins fans) that means "not real." I haven't seen it and probably never will. It just doesn't interest me at all. However, I did read previews of the movie.
First of all it takes place in Wyoming, not Texas. Second of all they are sheep herders. That's right, sheep, not cows. The hat does not make you a cowboy any more than putting on a fireman's helmet would make you a fireman.
Apparently in the nation's capital people are not aware of the hatred between sheep herders and cattle ranchers. Uh, they hate each other. Ever heard of the Lincoln County Range Wars? Billy the Kid, Pat Garrett, and all the actual History? All of that was about sheep versus cows. There's a range war in Arizona that I wrote about that was even bigger and bloodier. It set Arizona statehood back 30 years it was so violent. Ask me via PMs if you're interested in knowing more.
The simple truth is anyone who calls a sheep herder a cowboy is out of his freaking mind. The word is cowboy and it implies working with bovine. For those not in tune with the Latin, that means cows. The silliest thing about this remains that it was a damned movie, not real life. Let's talk about real life.
First of all let's put to rest the Troy Aikman allegations. Those were started by none other than Skip Bayless. You want to know why he's so bitter against Dallas? Folks he lost his job because of those allegations. His own fault for printing lies. That's right, it isn't true as has been proven many times over. The weak stuff about "Tony Homo" is about as 6th grade as it gets. Oh wow, you changed a letter in his name. How original.
I told you there was truth to be shared to expose this weak smack. Let's share it. The first athlete to ever "come out of the closet" was RB Dave Kopay in 1975. Dave played for 5 teams in a 9 year career. He wrote a book after coming out wherein he revealed he had a homosexual relationship while a member of the Commanders, with a teammate on the Commanders, Jerry Smith. Jerry Smith was an All Pro TE who played for the Commanders for 13 years. He was the first professional athlete to die from AIDS.
Now, I'm not suggesting either of these players should be bashed for their lifestyle and certainly not for Smith's death. I'm merely suggesting that it's rather stupid to sling mud about homosexuality when probably the dirtiest mud is on your team. What's more damning here folks? Tony Homo, or an actual documented homosexual relationship?
In fact, according to Dave Kopay, the Assistant General Manager of the Commanders in his years there "came out" after he left the team. So this homosexuality they joke about extended from the locker room to the front office on their team.
I always thought it was kind of odd that a Commanders fan would talk smack to any other fan about homosexuality when their most famous fans cross dress as female pigs in dresses. I love irony.
But the truth is if they consider Tony Romo's name to be tragic in some way because of a 6th grade nursery school rhyme then they really don't even know their own team's History.
What I mean by this is the Commanders seem to own the market on tragic names for football players. Allow me to introduce you to three names from their past.
In February as I was entering the Cowboys birthdays I stumbled across the first name. In 1963 the Commanders drafted a LB named Harry Butsko. I don't know about you, but if my last name is Butsko, the last thing in the world I want my parents to name me is Harry. You gotta know this kid was the butt of a lot of jokes. Pun intended. You almost got to consider his name to be child abuse. I thought, that has to be the worst in NFL History. No it wasn't. Not even close.
Later in February I stumbled across the 2nd name. He was a Center drafted by the Commanders in the 1953 Draft. Though he never played for them and his name is really a nickname it is still hilarious. The player's name was Buzz Nutter. No, I am not joking. The Commanders drafted a player whose name reminds you of shaved male genitalia. I couldn't breathe when I first saw the name. Surely this name really was the worst in NFL History.
No, it wasn't. If you have food or drinks in your mouth, you should probably finish swallowing before you spit them all over your monitor.
In 1964 the Commanders drafted a QB in the 7th round. A QB whose very name is literally the epitome of tragic. To make a joke about our QB they have to change a letter in his name. No such juvenile tactic is required for the name of one of their QBs. You see, in 1964 the Commanders drafted a QB named Dick Shiner.
No I am not joking. Apparently neither were his parents when they gave him that name. You see, not only does he possess the most tragic name of all time, he is a Junior. It was also his Dad's name. He went to school at Maryland. They can't even pawn him off on another state.
So the next time a Commanders fan wants to tell you about your QB, Tony Homo; tell them about how one of their QBs had a name right out of a homophobic nightmare. Maybe that's why those guys wear dresses. I really love irony.
Hey, I told you their smack talk on these subjects was weak because it showed they don't know squat about their own team.
"And now you know.......the rest of the story.
Paul Harvey......good day."
