JD_KaPow
jimnabby
- Messages
- 11,072
- Reaction score
- 10,836
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2558133-nfl-game-previews-week-1
New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys
Sunday, 8:30 PM
It’s not easy coining a nickname for a great offensive line.
“The Hogs” worked well for those old Commanders lines, but now it is theirs forever. “The Electric Company” turned on the Juice for O.J. Simpson, but if they blocked for someone with a name like “Lawrence McCutcheon,” we’d be stumped for a catchy nickname. “Seven Blocks of Granite” was a great name for the New Deal era, but what’s the modern equivalent, Five Internet Firewalls?
Actually, there is a far worse choice than that: “The Great Wall of Dallas 2.0.” Rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?
The Dallas Morning News called the Cowboys offensive line the Legion of Room for most of the offseason: catchy, if a little derivative. But it then decided to put the nickname to a reader vote. The Great Wall of Dallas 2.0, which sounds like a Chinese restaurant that just got rebuilt in a strip mall off I-635 that recently burned down, won 13.73 percent of the popular vote. Guardians of the Gridiron earned 11.25 percent of the vote and an argument over which Cowboys lineman is the wisecracking raccoon. (Travis Frederick, obviously.) Legion of Room finished third. The Plowboys, which sounds like the best selection until you really start to think about it, finished fourth.
My choice did not merit serious consideration: FredMartinSmith Cleary-Free. Admit it. You love it. It sounds like a '70s prog rock band with a cello player and a double album about an eternal dragon war. It’s better than Jerry’s Angels, which actually received 1.55 percent of votes. Whatever Jerry’s Angels might be—and my wife would ask that very question if she saw it on my credit card statement—they are not sweaty, 320-pound dudes.
Anyway, Great Wall of Dallas 2.0 it is. That leaves the Legion-based nickname open to non-Seahawks teams. So we can safely christen the Giants defense as the Legion of Who?
Markus Kuhn is the starting nose tackle for New York. Who? J.T. Thomas starts at weak-side linebacker. Who?? Cooper Taylor is the strong safety. Who??? If Jon Beason doesn’t play (he missed practice time early in the week), Uani’ Unga is the middle linebacker. Who????
This is the defense you get when your star pass-rusher plays with fireworks, all of your safeties leave via free agency, you think free-agent spending is one of the seven deadly sins and your weekly injury report has come with a cross-referenced index for three seasons.
The Giants scarcely have enough healthy, experienced bodies to coverDez Bryant, Jason Witten and the committee of second-chancers at running back, let alone deal with the Legion...er, the Plowb...sigh, The Great Wall of Dallas 2.0.
Tune in next week when we learn if Dallas voters name their running back committee the Blind Gophers because they can never find a hole.
Prediction: Cowboys 34, Giants 21
New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys
Sunday, 8:30 PM
It’s not easy coining a nickname for a great offensive line.
“The Hogs” worked well for those old Commanders lines, but now it is theirs forever. “The Electric Company” turned on the Juice for O.J. Simpson, but if they blocked for someone with a name like “Lawrence McCutcheon,” we’d be stumped for a catchy nickname. “Seven Blocks of Granite” was a great name for the New Deal era, but what’s the modern equivalent, Five Internet Firewalls?
Actually, there is a far worse choice than that: “The Great Wall of Dallas 2.0.” Rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?
The Dallas Morning News called the Cowboys offensive line the Legion of Room for most of the offseason: catchy, if a little derivative. But it then decided to put the nickname to a reader vote. The Great Wall of Dallas 2.0, which sounds like a Chinese restaurant that just got rebuilt in a strip mall off I-635 that recently burned down, won 13.73 percent of the popular vote. Guardians of the Gridiron earned 11.25 percent of the vote and an argument over which Cowboys lineman is the wisecracking raccoon. (Travis Frederick, obviously.) Legion of Room finished third. The Plowboys, which sounds like the best selection until you really start to think about it, finished fourth.
My choice did not merit serious consideration: FredMartinSmith Cleary-Free. Admit it. You love it. It sounds like a '70s prog rock band with a cello player and a double album about an eternal dragon war. It’s better than Jerry’s Angels, which actually received 1.55 percent of votes. Whatever Jerry’s Angels might be—and my wife would ask that very question if she saw it on my credit card statement—they are not sweaty, 320-pound dudes.
Anyway, Great Wall of Dallas 2.0 it is. That leaves the Legion-based nickname open to non-Seahawks teams. So we can safely christen the Giants defense as the Legion of Who?
Markus Kuhn is the starting nose tackle for New York. Who? J.T. Thomas starts at weak-side linebacker. Who?? Cooper Taylor is the strong safety. Who??? If Jon Beason doesn’t play (he missed practice time early in the week), Uani’ Unga is the middle linebacker. Who????
This is the defense you get when your star pass-rusher plays with fireworks, all of your safeties leave via free agency, you think free-agent spending is one of the seven deadly sins and your weekly injury report has come with a cross-referenced index for three seasons.
The Giants scarcely have enough healthy, experienced bodies to coverDez Bryant, Jason Witten and the committee of second-chancers at running back, let alone deal with the Legion...er, the Plowb...sigh, The Great Wall of Dallas 2.0.
Tune in next week when we learn if Dallas voters name their running back committee the Blind Gophers because they can never find a hole.
Prediction: Cowboys 34, Giants 21