TruBlueCowboy
New Member
- Messages
- 7,301
- Reaction score
- 0
http://www.forbes.com/2005/11/29/forbes-fictional-rich_cx_mn_de_05fict15land.html
#1 SANTA CLAUS
Net Worth: $ ∞
Source: Toys, Candy
Age: 1,651
Marital Status: Married, no children.
Hometown: North Pole
North Pole's tubby toy titan remains fiction's richest character, despite ongoing strife with Elvish labor force. Elves bemoan low-wages, lack of health care coverage and union-busting tactics of "Claws." Factory operations also dogged by several documented instances of child-labor. Santa retorts that "immortal" Elves don't need health insurance, and says child-workers were being punished for being "naughty." Analysts expect impact on toy and candy production to be minimal. Claus' ultimate motivations for annual gift-giving orgy remain unclear. Speculated to be tormented by infinite wealth; embarks on annual around-the-world trip in a futile attempt to give it away. Others detect darker side, noting percentage of children receiving lumps of coal and ill-treatment of rare Finnish-bred flying reindeer. Claus himself plays it close to the vest, cryptically muttering "Ho! Ho! Ho!" Member since time immemorial.
#2 DADDY WARBUCKS
Net Worth: $27.3 billion
Source: Defense Industries
Age: 52
Marital Status: Divorced, one child
Hometown: New York, N.Y.
Education: S.U.N.Y. Stony Brook, B.S.
Iraqi conflict has been kind to Warbucks; recipient of multiple defense contracts; cat-food holdings also up. Since adopting daughter Annie, has spent or given away much of his fortune, but still fiction's second-richest man. Rarely seen in public without bodyguards Punjab and Asp; both reputed to have mystical powers and great strength. Press reports charge Warbucks frequently pulls Annie out of school for globe-trotting jaunts with Sandy, her Airedale terrier. Member since 1924.
#3 RICHIE RICH
Net Worth: $17 billion
Source: Inheritance, Conglomerates
Age: 10
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: Richville, U.S.A.
Education: Richville Elementary
The "poor little rich boy" continues to share father's fortune with underprivileged kids in native Richville, paving basketball courts with gold and donating caviar to soup kitchens. Also: Successfully foiled plan by spoiled cousin Reggie Van Dough to cancel Christmas. But critics claim sinister intent underlies charitable exterior. Genetic engineering of "Dollarmatian" dogs with dollar-sign spots has animal rights groups fuming, and use of robotic maids led to wildcat strikes in Rich Industries' hotel group. Fortune took a hit after failed attempt to launch "Richie" fashion line, which consisted entirely of waistcoats and blue shorts. Member since 1953.
#4 LEX LUTHOR
Net Worth: $10.1 billion
Source: Defense, Software, Real Estate
Age: 52
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: Metropolis, U.S.A.
Education: Metropolis University, B.S; Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Ph.D.
A year after his term as president ended in scandal, Luthor returned to the helm of LexCorp unbowed. Inventor of personal jetpack, robot guard dog said to be back in the lab. Singles out negative reporting by former friend and Daily Planet writer Clark Kent as "worst kind of tabloid journalism." Spent childhood in idyllic Smallville, Kans.; moved to Metropolis at age 21; built LexCorp into world's largest defense and software firm. Claims "superpowered do-gooders" are plotting to take over the world. Prominent supporter of "extropian" life-extension research. Member since 1940.
#5 MONTGOMERY BURNS
Net Worth: $8.4 billion
Source: Energy
Age: 104
Marital Status: Single, one ******* child.
Hometown: Springfield, U.S.A.
Education: Yale University, B.S.
Owner and operator of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant for more than 50 years; also water works and a hotel on Baltic Avenue. Saved millions by canceling company's prescription drug plan, but reinstated same after assistant Smithers' thyroid condition brought him to the brink of death. Bought the Frank Gehry-designed Springfield Concert Hall from the city and turned it into a prison. Struggling Monty Burns Casino chain purchased this year by MGM Mirage for $2.1 billion. Has every disease known to man, and survives only because they perfectly counteract one another, an extremely rare medical condition known as "Three Stooges Syndrome." Credits longevity to Satan. Member since 1989.
#6 SCROOGE McDUCK
Net Worth: $8.2 billion
Source: Mining
Age: 80
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: Duckburg, U.S.A.
Education: Cluck U dropout.
Planet's wealthiest poultry in hiding due to fear of bird flu. Thought to be in "money bin," five-story tower in Duckburg that is world's largest repository of gold coins. As adolescent, moved to American West from native Scotland and amassed fortune in gold and copper. Keeps most of his money in bullion. Known to enjoy swimming in money. Literally. Likely heirs Huey, Dewey and Louie (grand-nephews) now living alone in Duckburg mansion. Absent Scrooge's supervision, Dewey spotted canoodling with Parrot Hilton. Reportedly wrote nephew Donald, a deckhand in U.S. Navy, back into his will. Member since 1947
#7 JED CLAMPETT
Net Worth: $6.6 billion
Source: Oil & Gas, Banking
Age: 51
Marital Status: Widowed, one child.
Hometown: Beverly Hills, Calif.
Education: Ozark Elementary, dropout
Parlayed small gusher on Ozark homestead into multinational energy juggernaught. Clampett Oil went public, 1984, but closely knit Clampett-clan still dominates executive suite; Jed, Chairman and CEO; Cousin Jethro oversees Russian operations; Elly May looks after environmental compliance; "Granny" handles finance. Also: banking operations. Clampett bought small savings and loan, 1967, ousted long-serving president, Milton Drysdale. Expanded operations across California, then West. Now 356 branches in ten states. Remains country-boy at heart; major player on bass-fishing circuit, serves 'coon at corporate retreats. Member since 1962
#8 BRUCE WAYNE
Net Worth: $6.5 billion
Source: Inheritance; Defense
Age: 32
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: Gotham City, U.S.A
Wealthy playboy took family business Wayne Enterprises private earlier this year; SEC still investigating; valuable military prototypes said to have "disappeared." Watched parents gunned down, age 8; spent years in hiding. Returned to Gotham, age 25, assumed control of Wayne Enterprise board. Lives in stately Wayne Manor despite municipal worries about giant sinkholes beneath foundation. Short-lived romances with famous faces: photographer Vicki Vale, socialite Silver St. Cloud and heiress Talia Al Ghul. Rumors continue to swirl over long-time habit of keeping teenage boys as wards. Member since 1939.
#9 THURSTON HOWELL III
Net Worth: $5.7 billion
Source: Howell Industries
Age: 60
Marital Status: Married, no children
Hometown: Private Island, Pacific Ocean
Education: Harvard, B.A.
Fled U.S. to avoid federal tax evasion charges; rumored to be holed up on private Pacific island with a small cadre of trusted associates. Wife Lovey now back stateside, working Washington social circuit; lobbying for presidential pardon. Overcame youthful image as a playboy bachelor after inheriting privately held Howell Industries in 1955. Went on acquistion binge, snapping up undervalued assets, expanding into plastics, chemicals, concrete. Polished demeanor and self-deprecating manner disguise ruthless methods. Competitors, underlings never underestimate him twice. Still thought to control privately-held Howell Industries through various proxies; company has made recent push into "unsinkable" double-hulled leisure watercraft; new CEO insists on being called "Skipper." Member since 1964.
#10 WILLY WONKA
Net Worth: $2.3 billionSource: Candy
Age: 57
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: Kent, England
Reclusive chocolate-factory owner was hit hard by low-carb diet craze, but has seen fortunes improve in recent months thanks to innovative new sweets conceived by protégé Charlie Bucket. Currently under investigation by British authorities for illegally importing unregistered laborers from Loompaland, paying them only in cocoa beans. Authorized autobiographical 2005 film in attempt to rehabilitate image; revealed that as the son of a dentist, was long forbidden to eat chocolate. Member since 1964.
#11 ARTHUR BACH
Net Worth: $2 billion
Source: Inheritance
Age: 50
Marital Status: Divorced, no children.
Hometown: New York, N.Y.
Playboy layabout remains blissfully oblivious to changes in social mores. Still carouses in vintage '80s style: "I race cars, play tennis and womanize, but I have weekends off, and I'm my own boss." Attempt at marriage unsuccessful: no longer on speaking terms with former wife. Sobriety also unsuccessful. But inclination to blow family money on booze and toys tempered by a series of well-compensated butlers, who are instructed to keep almost all Bach's dollars safely in money market accounts.
#12 EBENEZER SCROOGE
Net Worth: $1.7 billion
Source: Banking, Investments
Age: 63
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: London, England
Education: University of Edinburgh
Briefly distracted by philanthropic causes a few years back, Scrooge is all business again. Came out of late '90s tech bubble unscathed, refusing to invest in stocks with "Humbug valuations." Sizable gold horde appreciating rapidly; said to make $10 million every time price of gold goes up by $1. Lifelong bachelor with few close associates. Strong believer in the paranormal; insists home is haunted by ghosts. Scrooge remains focal point for anger over excessive executive compensation. Most recent proxy discloses salary to be 927 times that of Bob Crachit, his long-suffering number two. Member since 1843.
#13 LARA CROFT
Net Worth: $1 billion
Source: Inheritance, Antiques
Age: 37
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: Wimbledon, England
Education: Cambridge University
Daughter of a British lord; raised in luxury. Gained fame and even more fortune by crawling into dusty tombs, charging through jungles and getting into gun fights. Archaeologist and author of travel books; responsible for numerous discoveries, including the lost city of Atlantis and Pandora's Box. Experienced windfall this year by licensing name to endorse variety of products, from handguns to hot pants. Rumored to have fought, killed Bigfoot
#14 CRUELLA DE VIL
Net Worth: $1 billion
Source: Inheritance
Age: 65
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: London, England
Education: Fashion Institute of Technology
London fashion icon saw fortune grow as chain stores like J. Crew and Banana Republic embrace fur in fall collections. Recently gave up long-held dream of making fur coat from 99 Dalmatian puppies. EBay fanatic; online purchases purportedly include Hunter S. Thompson's cigarette holder, coat made from purebred pugs and Chihuahuas. Critics say she "ought to be locked up," but Cruella insists her only crime is her fashion sense. Insists that money can buy anything. Continues to live extravagantly but privately in the solitude of Hell Hall estate. Member since 1961
#15 LUCIUS MALFOY
Net Worth: $900 million
Source: Inheritance
Age: 51
Marital Status: Married, one child.
Hometown: Wiltshire, England
Education: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Patriarch of ancient wizarding family is known for his luxurious white hair, advocacy for pureblood magicians, and violent hatred of Harry Potter. Family stores of gold and illegal Dark Arts artifacts amount to significant fortune, most of which is used to buy influence within the magical community. Caught red-handed burglarizing United Kingdom's Ministry of Magic; currently incarcerated in Azkaban prison. Once asked: "What's the use of being a disgrace to the name of wizard if they don't even pay you well for it?" -- David M. Ewalt
DROPPED OFF TOP 15 THIS YEAR:
J.R. Ewing
Source: Oil
Age: 48
Marital Status: Divorced, 4 children
Hometown: Dallas, Texas
Legendary Texas oilman saw net worth tumble after Ewing Oil filed for bankruptcy in the wake of massive accounting scandal. Shares of the company's stock fell from over $90 to less than $0.30 in 2005; delisted. J.R. is set to go on trial in January for his role in what prosecutors deem "The most well-planned corporate fraud in U.S. history." Ewing defiant: "the world is littered with the bodies of people that tried to stick it to ol' J.R.!"
Jay Gatsby
Source: Racketeering
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: West Egg, N.Y.
Bootleg kingpin found brutally murdered at his Long Island estate; story dominates New York tabloids for weeks. Born James Gatz in North Dakota; moved East; changed name.
In life, Gatsby famous for huge, P. Diddy-esque parties; home modeled after Normandy's Hotel de Ville. Shadowy fortune appears to have come entirely from racketeering. Though one associate claimed Jay "would never so much look at a friend's wife," whispers suggest otherwise. West Egg mansion taken over by the state, being turned into a public park. Member since 1925
Gordon Gekko
Source: Investments
Age: 51
Marital Status: Divorced, one child
Hometown: New York City
Education: Princeton University, B.A., Harvard University, M.B.A.
After years of fruitless investigations by the SEC, Gekko may have finally met his match in crusading New York State Attorney General Eliot Spitzer. Early this spring, Spitzer brought a raft of civil and criminal charges against Gekko, including insider trading, securities fraud, obstruction of justice and cruelty to animals. Former Gekko protégé Bud Fox cooperating with investigation, stating "Greed might be good, but Gekko is bad." Forced to sell assets at fire-sale prices, currently thought to be hunkering down in Park Avenue apartment plotting legal defense. Wife Kate, hieress to the Wisher hotel fortune, granted quicky divorce shortly after Gekko's legal problems surfaced; rumored to get nothing under the terms of a punishing pre-nup.
Auric Goldfinger
Source: Gold, Commodities Training
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: Bern, Switzerland
Commodities trader and obsessive megalomaniac met his end after plan to raid Fort Knox went awry. Had intended to detonate a Chinese atomic bomb, render the gold radioactive, thus ratcheting up the value of his own gold holdings. Instead, accidentally shot out the window of a private jet and was sucked into the upper atmosphere. Descendents reportedly plan to use what's left of his fortune to promote better flight safety instruction.
Charles Foster Kane
Source: Media
Marital Status: Twice divorced, no children.
Hometown: Xanadu, Calif.
Yellow journalism kingpin died, age 62, of massive coronary. Dying words of "rosebud" inspired quixotic quest by Jerry Thompson, a reporter for Kane's flagship New York Inquirer, to discover the "real" Charles Foster Kane. Thompson's series a surprise sensation; wins Pulitzer. Much to write about: Kane built news empire, ran unsuccessfully for office, married, divorced twice. Was world-renowned art connoisseur, animal lover. Final years spent as virtual recluse in private mansion on West Coast, surrounded by beloved collection of snow globes.
#1 SANTA CLAUS
Net Worth: $ ∞
Source: Toys, Candy
Age: 1,651
Marital Status: Married, no children.
Hometown: North Pole
North Pole's tubby toy titan remains fiction's richest character, despite ongoing strife with Elvish labor force. Elves bemoan low-wages, lack of health care coverage and union-busting tactics of "Claws." Factory operations also dogged by several documented instances of child-labor. Santa retorts that "immortal" Elves don't need health insurance, and says child-workers were being punished for being "naughty." Analysts expect impact on toy and candy production to be minimal. Claus' ultimate motivations for annual gift-giving orgy remain unclear. Speculated to be tormented by infinite wealth; embarks on annual around-the-world trip in a futile attempt to give it away. Others detect darker side, noting percentage of children receiving lumps of coal and ill-treatment of rare Finnish-bred flying reindeer. Claus himself plays it close to the vest, cryptically muttering "Ho! Ho! Ho!" Member since time immemorial.
#2 DADDY WARBUCKS
Net Worth: $27.3 billion
Source: Defense Industries
Age: 52
Marital Status: Divorced, one child
Hometown: New York, N.Y.
Education: S.U.N.Y. Stony Brook, B.S.
Iraqi conflict has been kind to Warbucks; recipient of multiple defense contracts; cat-food holdings also up. Since adopting daughter Annie, has spent or given away much of his fortune, but still fiction's second-richest man. Rarely seen in public without bodyguards Punjab and Asp; both reputed to have mystical powers and great strength. Press reports charge Warbucks frequently pulls Annie out of school for globe-trotting jaunts with Sandy, her Airedale terrier. Member since 1924.
#3 RICHIE RICH
Net Worth: $17 billion
Source: Inheritance, Conglomerates
Age: 10
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: Richville, U.S.A.
Education: Richville Elementary
The "poor little rich boy" continues to share father's fortune with underprivileged kids in native Richville, paving basketball courts with gold and donating caviar to soup kitchens. Also: Successfully foiled plan by spoiled cousin Reggie Van Dough to cancel Christmas. But critics claim sinister intent underlies charitable exterior. Genetic engineering of "Dollarmatian" dogs with dollar-sign spots has animal rights groups fuming, and use of robotic maids led to wildcat strikes in Rich Industries' hotel group. Fortune took a hit after failed attempt to launch "Richie" fashion line, which consisted entirely of waistcoats and blue shorts. Member since 1953.
#4 LEX LUTHOR
Net Worth: $10.1 billion
Source: Defense, Software, Real Estate
Age: 52
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: Metropolis, U.S.A.
Education: Metropolis University, B.S; Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Ph.D.
A year after his term as president ended in scandal, Luthor returned to the helm of LexCorp unbowed. Inventor of personal jetpack, robot guard dog said to be back in the lab. Singles out negative reporting by former friend and Daily Planet writer Clark Kent as "worst kind of tabloid journalism." Spent childhood in idyllic Smallville, Kans.; moved to Metropolis at age 21; built LexCorp into world's largest defense and software firm. Claims "superpowered do-gooders" are plotting to take over the world. Prominent supporter of "extropian" life-extension research. Member since 1940.
#5 MONTGOMERY BURNS
Net Worth: $8.4 billion
Source: Energy
Age: 104
Marital Status: Single, one ******* child.
Hometown: Springfield, U.S.A.
Education: Yale University, B.S.
Owner and operator of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant for more than 50 years; also water works and a hotel on Baltic Avenue. Saved millions by canceling company's prescription drug plan, but reinstated same after assistant Smithers' thyroid condition brought him to the brink of death. Bought the Frank Gehry-designed Springfield Concert Hall from the city and turned it into a prison. Struggling Monty Burns Casino chain purchased this year by MGM Mirage for $2.1 billion. Has every disease known to man, and survives only because they perfectly counteract one another, an extremely rare medical condition known as "Three Stooges Syndrome." Credits longevity to Satan. Member since 1989.
#6 SCROOGE McDUCK
Net Worth: $8.2 billion
Source: Mining
Age: 80
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: Duckburg, U.S.A.
Education: Cluck U dropout.
Planet's wealthiest poultry in hiding due to fear of bird flu. Thought to be in "money bin," five-story tower in Duckburg that is world's largest repository of gold coins. As adolescent, moved to American West from native Scotland and amassed fortune in gold and copper. Keeps most of his money in bullion. Known to enjoy swimming in money. Literally. Likely heirs Huey, Dewey and Louie (grand-nephews) now living alone in Duckburg mansion. Absent Scrooge's supervision, Dewey spotted canoodling with Parrot Hilton. Reportedly wrote nephew Donald, a deckhand in U.S. Navy, back into his will. Member since 1947
#7 JED CLAMPETT
Net Worth: $6.6 billion
Source: Oil & Gas, Banking
Age: 51
Marital Status: Widowed, one child.
Hometown: Beverly Hills, Calif.
Education: Ozark Elementary, dropout
Parlayed small gusher on Ozark homestead into multinational energy juggernaught. Clampett Oil went public, 1984, but closely knit Clampett-clan still dominates executive suite; Jed, Chairman and CEO; Cousin Jethro oversees Russian operations; Elly May looks after environmental compliance; "Granny" handles finance. Also: banking operations. Clampett bought small savings and loan, 1967, ousted long-serving president, Milton Drysdale. Expanded operations across California, then West. Now 356 branches in ten states. Remains country-boy at heart; major player on bass-fishing circuit, serves 'coon at corporate retreats. Member since 1962
#8 BRUCE WAYNE
Net Worth: $6.5 billion
Source: Inheritance; Defense
Age: 32
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: Gotham City, U.S.A
Wealthy playboy took family business Wayne Enterprises private earlier this year; SEC still investigating; valuable military prototypes said to have "disappeared." Watched parents gunned down, age 8; spent years in hiding. Returned to Gotham, age 25, assumed control of Wayne Enterprise board. Lives in stately Wayne Manor despite municipal worries about giant sinkholes beneath foundation. Short-lived romances with famous faces: photographer Vicki Vale, socialite Silver St. Cloud and heiress Talia Al Ghul. Rumors continue to swirl over long-time habit of keeping teenage boys as wards. Member since 1939.
#9 THURSTON HOWELL III
Net Worth: $5.7 billion
Source: Howell Industries
Age: 60
Marital Status: Married, no children
Hometown: Private Island, Pacific Ocean
Education: Harvard, B.A.
Fled U.S. to avoid federal tax evasion charges; rumored to be holed up on private Pacific island with a small cadre of trusted associates. Wife Lovey now back stateside, working Washington social circuit; lobbying for presidential pardon. Overcame youthful image as a playboy bachelor after inheriting privately held Howell Industries in 1955. Went on acquistion binge, snapping up undervalued assets, expanding into plastics, chemicals, concrete. Polished demeanor and self-deprecating manner disguise ruthless methods. Competitors, underlings never underestimate him twice. Still thought to control privately-held Howell Industries through various proxies; company has made recent push into "unsinkable" double-hulled leisure watercraft; new CEO insists on being called "Skipper." Member since 1964.
#10 WILLY WONKA
Net Worth: $2.3 billionSource: Candy
Age: 57
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: Kent, England
Reclusive chocolate-factory owner was hit hard by low-carb diet craze, but has seen fortunes improve in recent months thanks to innovative new sweets conceived by protégé Charlie Bucket. Currently under investigation by British authorities for illegally importing unregistered laborers from Loompaland, paying them only in cocoa beans. Authorized autobiographical 2005 film in attempt to rehabilitate image; revealed that as the son of a dentist, was long forbidden to eat chocolate. Member since 1964.
#11 ARTHUR BACH
Net Worth: $2 billion
Source: Inheritance
Age: 50
Marital Status: Divorced, no children.
Hometown: New York, N.Y.
Playboy layabout remains blissfully oblivious to changes in social mores. Still carouses in vintage '80s style: "I race cars, play tennis and womanize, but I have weekends off, and I'm my own boss." Attempt at marriage unsuccessful: no longer on speaking terms with former wife. Sobriety also unsuccessful. But inclination to blow family money on booze and toys tempered by a series of well-compensated butlers, who are instructed to keep almost all Bach's dollars safely in money market accounts.
#12 EBENEZER SCROOGE
Net Worth: $1.7 billion
Source: Banking, Investments
Age: 63
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: London, England
Education: University of Edinburgh
Briefly distracted by philanthropic causes a few years back, Scrooge is all business again. Came out of late '90s tech bubble unscathed, refusing to invest in stocks with "Humbug valuations." Sizable gold horde appreciating rapidly; said to make $10 million every time price of gold goes up by $1. Lifelong bachelor with few close associates. Strong believer in the paranormal; insists home is haunted by ghosts. Scrooge remains focal point for anger over excessive executive compensation. Most recent proxy discloses salary to be 927 times that of Bob Crachit, his long-suffering number two. Member since 1843.
#13 LARA CROFT
Net Worth: $1 billion
Source: Inheritance, Antiques
Age: 37
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: Wimbledon, England
Education: Cambridge University
Daughter of a British lord; raised in luxury. Gained fame and even more fortune by crawling into dusty tombs, charging through jungles and getting into gun fights. Archaeologist and author of travel books; responsible for numerous discoveries, including the lost city of Atlantis and Pandora's Box. Experienced windfall this year by licensing name to endorse variety of products, from handguns to hot pants. Rumored to have fought, killed Bigfoot
#14 CRUELLA DE VIL
Net Worth: $1 billion
Source: Inheritance
Age: 65
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: London, England
Education: Fashion Institute of Technology
London fashion icon saw fortune grow as chain stores like J. Crew and Banana Republic embrace fur in fall collections. Recently gave up long-held dream of making fur coat from 99 Dalmatian puppies. EBay fanatic; online purchases purportedly include Hunter S. Thompson's cigarette holder, coat made from purebred pugs and Chihuahuas. Critics say she "ought to be locked up," but Cruella insists her only crime is her fashion sense. Insists that money can buy anything. Continues to live extravagantly but privately in the solitude of Hell Hall estate. Member since 1961
#15 LUCIUS MALFOY
Net Worth: $900 million
Source: Inheritance
Age: 51
Marital Status: Married, one child.
Hometown: Wiltshire, England
Education: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Patriarch of ancient wizarding family is known for his luxurious white hair, advocacy for pureblood magicians, and violent hatred of Harry Potter. Family stores of gold and illegal Dark Arts artifacts amount to significant fortune, most of which is used to buy influence within the magical community. Caught red-handed burglarizing United Kingdom's Ministry of Magic; currently incarcerated in Azkaban prison. Once asked: "What's the use of being a disgrace to the name of wizard if they don't even pay you well for it?" -- David M. Ewalt
DROPPED OFF TOP 15 THIS YEAR:
J.R. Ewing
Source: Oil
Age: 48
Marital Status: Divorced, 4 children
Hometown: Dallas, Texas
Legendary Texas oilman saw net worth tumble after Ewing Oil filed for bankruptcy in the wake of massive accounting scandal. Shares of the company's stock fell from over $90 to less than $0.30 in 2005; delisted. J.R. is set to go on trial in January for his role in what prosecutors deem "The most well-planned corporate fraud in U.S. history." Ewing defiant: "the world is littered with the bodies of people that tried to stick it to ol' J.R.!"
Jay Gatsby
Source: Racketeering
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: West Egg, N.Y.
Bootleg kingpin found brutally murdered at his Long Island estate; story dominates New York tabloids for weeks. Born James Gatz in North Dakota; moved East; changed name.
In life, Gatsby famous for huge, P. Diddy-esque parties; home modeled after Normandy's Hotel de Ville. Shadowy fortune appears to have come entirely from racketeering. Though one associate claimed Jay "would never so much look at a friend's wife," whispers suggest otherwise. West Egg mansion taken over by the state, being turned into a public park. Member since 1925
Gordon Gekko
Source: Investments
Age: 51
Marital Status: Divorced, one child
Hometown: New York City
Education: Princeton University, B.A., Harvard University, M.B.A.
After years of fruitless investigations by the SEC, Gekko may have finally met his match in crusading New York State Attorney General Eliot Spitzer. Early this spring, Spitzer brought a raft of civil and criminal charges against Gekko, including insider trading, securities fraud, obstruction of justice and cruelty to animals. Former Gekko protégé Bud Fox cooperating with investigation, stating "Greed might be good, but Gekko is bad." Forced to sell assets at fire-sale prices, currently thought to be hunkering down in Park Avenue apartment plotting legal defense. Wife Kate, hieress to the Wisher hotel fortune, granted quicky divorce shortly after Gekko's legal problems surfaced; rumored to get nothing under the terms of a punishing pre-nup.
Auric Goldfinger
Source: Gold, Commodities Training
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: Bern, Switzerland
Commodities trader and obsessive megalomaniac met his end after plan to raid Fort Knox went awry. Had intended to detonate a Chinese atomic bomb, render the gold radioactive, thus ratcheting up the value of his own gold holdings. Instead, accidentally shot out the window of a private jet and was sucked into the upper atmosphere. Descendents reportedly plan to use what's left of his fortune to promote better flight safety instruction.
Charles Foster Kane
Source: Media
Marital Status: Twice divorced, no children.
Hometown: Xanadu, Calif.
Yellow journalism kingpin died, age 62, of massive coronary. Dying words of "rosebud" inspired quixotic quest by Jerry Thompson, a reporter for Kane's flagship New York Inquirer, to discover the "real" Charles Foster Kane. Thompson's series a surprise sensation; wins Pulitzer. Much to write about: Kane built news empire, ran unsuccessfully for office, married, divorced twice. Was world-renowned art connoisseur, animal lover. Final years spent as virtual recluse in private mansion on West Coast, surrounded by beloved collection of snow globes.