The Redneck Thread

[Signals]

You know your a redneck if...

...you use Alaskan Cod fish as shoe inserts because it's an improvement over the current odor.

If the Red Cross calls in Haz-mat to clean up after you've donated blood.

If the aroma from your kitchen is indistinguishable from the aroma emanating from under your porch.

If your wife cooks with 10W40.

If you get married under the same tree that you hang deer and remove motors from.

Lets have 'em

 

[Faerluna]

If your family tree does not fork....

If you cut the grass and find 3 cars...

If you have a living room set on your front porch...

 

[PosterChild]

Present!

 

[Signals]

If you consider month old roadkill as a delicacy.

 

[Yeagermeister]

If you post in this thread


:doh:

 

[needforspeed]

If your richest relative buys a new house and you help take the wheels off...

If your mama doesn't have to take the Pall Mall out of her mouth to tell the state trooper to kiss her ***...

If you go to family reunions to pick up women...

If you cut the grass and find a refrigerator...

If you've ever cracked open a beer during the eulogy...

If you've ever worn a tube top to a wedding...

If your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade...

You MIGHT be a redneck!

Props to Jeff Foxworthy. Otherwise I'd still think I was normal.

 

[Yeagermeister]

If your richest relative buys a new house and you help take the wheels off...

If your mama doesn't have to take the Pall Mall out of her mouth to tell the state trooper to kiss her ***...

If you go to family reunions to pick up women...

If you cut the grass and find a refrigerator...

If you've ever cracked open a beer during the eulogy...

If you've ever worn a tube top to a wedding...

If your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade...

You MIGHT be a redneck!

Props to Jeff Foxworthy. Otherwise I'd still think I was normal.

BP sees nothing wrong with this list.

 

[needforspeed]

BP sees nothing wrong with this list.

BP's worn a tube top to a wedding? What a tramp!:laugh2:

 

[Signals]

If you haven't posted in this thread yet because your too busy inscribing our idea's on your forehead with your three inch finger nail.

 

[ologan]

If your wedding registry is the neighborhood Race Trac gas station.

 

[silverbear]

If you still wear a mullet...

The one Jeff Foxworthy line about rednecks that used to hit a little close to home was:

If any part of the directions to your house read "go to the end of the paved road", you might be a redneck...

Until 2 years ago, that's how you got to MY house... now they done went and paved my road, so I guess that means I can't be a redneck any more... if that's the case, I'm not paying my dues any more... let 'em buy their own Pabst Blue Ribbon, LOL...

 

[The Rawhide Kid]

My favorite: "If you make change in the offering plate." I saw this done once.

 

[Warick]

If you have ever been accused, of lying through your tooth.

If your wife has ever asked you to move the transmission so she can take a bath.

If you think the last words to the Star Spangled banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines"

If you have been married 3 times, and still have the same inlaws

If you have ever tried to take a fishing pole into sea world.

You got stopped by a state trooper. He asked you if you had an I.D., and you responded "bout what"

If you had to remove the toothpick from your mouth for the wedding photos.

Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.