Reverend Conehead
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Well, crap, I always try really hard to leave no evidence behind about my time traveling, but I really screwed up with this one. I kept traveling back to the World War II era. That was a particularly violent time, and so I've always tried to make things better. However, it's always a hassle that cell phones don't work back then. So I made a deal with some space aliens from Alpha Centauri, who visited the earth all the time back then. I had them build cell phone towers and service, and then cloak the towers so that they're invisible. In the following article you'll see me talking on my cell phone. Normally, people just brush that off as I'm a lunatic talking to myself. I didn't count on them catching me in this picture, gosh darnit. Now, years later people have figured out that I time traveled.
Many of my missions were successful. I went back to Knotsie Germany and posed as a German scientist, and said to the Fuehrer, "Aaah, don't waste our resources on that A-bomb pipe dream. It will never work." That changed the timeline. Originally the Knotsies had a bunch of A-bombs that they bombed a bunch of cities with. I saved millions of people from that.
On another time machine mission, I tried to convince Mr. Fuehrer guy to never go into politics because he had great talent for being a circus clown. Unfortunately, that mission failed. I had it all planned out that he was going work for a circus for a while, and then he would open a hamburger restaurant and then be its clown, Ronald McDonald style. I'm bummed it didn't work out. Could have prevented WW2. I was going to have him open up both a burger joint and a pizza parlor, named Dolphie's Burgers and Dolphie's Cheezy Pizza Parlor respecdtively.
Anyway, here's the picture they caught me in. I'm thinking of telling them that's my grandfather scratching his ear. Think they'll buy it?
https://www.goodolddays.com/vintage/people-convinced-man-ww2-photograph-time-traveler/
Many of my missions were successful. I went back to Knotsie Germany and posed as a German scientist, and said to the Fuehrer, "Aaah, don't waste our resources on that A-bomb pipe dream. It will never work." That changed the timeline. Originally the Knotsies had a bunch of A-bombs that they bombed a bunch of cities with. I saved millions of people from that.
On another time machine mission, I tried to convince Mr. Fuehrer guy to never go into politics because he had great talent for being a circus clown. Unfortunately, that mission failed. I had it all planned out that he was going work for a circus for a while, and then he would open a hamburger restaurant and then be its clown, Ronald McDonald style. I'm bummed it didn't work out. Could have prevented WW2. I was going to have him open up both a burger joint and a pizza parlor, named Dolphie's Burgers and Dolphie's Cheezy Pizza Parlor respecdtively.
Anyway, here's the picture they caught me in. I'm thinking of telling them that's my grandfather scratching his ear. Think they'll buy it?
https://www.goodolddays.com/vintage/people-convinced-man-ww2-photograph-time-traveler/
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