timb2
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This is my comedy mock draft. Our great GM has done so many great moves in our Cowboys history from firing Tom Landry,getting Jimmie Johnson out of here to bringing back Dave Campo after he plagued us as a head coach. Jerry has drafted such Cowboys stalwarts as Quincy Carter, Bobby Carpenter, to now you can say BUST Connor Williams. We have to save us from Jerry with others in the Draft War Room like when he had to be talked out of drafting Johnny Manziel instead we took Zack Martin that year. Yet you know, Jerry wants to lock everyone out of the room and make all the picks.
Now I have studied Jerry's philosophy of drafting players and it will drive you insane because his logic has no rhyme or reason.
Here is what I know
1-Jerry loves his Alma mater Arkansas. If he can't draft you. He will sign you as a free agent. Ken Hamlin,Darren McFadden,Jeremy Sprinkle to drafting Felix Jones( who didn't even start in college) over Chris Johnson,Ray Rice, and Matt Forte
2- Jerry loves Frankenstein O Linemen. They could be timed by a sundial in the forty yard dash, as long as you are big. The clumsily the better. Types that can't walk and chew bubble gum at the same time. Who have two left feet.
3- Finally this next rule got broken a couple of years ago but both drafted players didn't last 2 years here. NO MIAMI HURRICANES SINCE JIMMY JOHNSON LEFT. Jerry holds petty grudges and you can look at the drafts since Jimmy Johnson left. For 20 years No drafted Hurricanes in Dallas .
4- Jerry likes weird names and goofy nicknames. Osa Odighizuwa last year. Taco Charlton a few years ago.
5- Jerry loves hearing the name " Jones". I believe Jerry envisions that's him making that play.
6- If Jerry hits gold at a college with a draft pick,he goes back searching for more. In other words expect a Penn State player this years draft.
7- Jerry does not shy away from criminals,thugs,pyschos,nutjobs as players. Nevermind team chemistry.
8- Jerry likes small midget WRs. He constantly is looking for a punt returner.
9- Before the draft, if a new name or rumors start popping up. Jerry is like a moth to a flame. This shiny object Jerry is enamored with.
10- Jerry constantly goes to small schools thinking this player is just as good.
11- Jerry will draft atleast one white token player.
12- Jerry loves to keep us in suspense by drafting down trading away a 1st round to get 3 7ths and Jerry is tempted to make that trade.
13- if Jerry feels the fan base is upset with early picks then Jerry will draft a homestate Texas player that played close by to appease the hostile crowd.
14- Jerry looks for medical risks as bargains
NEXT POST I WILL POST THE DRAFT
Now I have studied Jerry's philosophy of drafting players and it will drive you insane because his logic has no rhyme or reason.
Here is what I know
1-Jerry loves his Alma mater Arkansas. If he can't draft you. He will sign you as a free agent. Ken Hamlin,Darren McFadden,Jeremy Sprinkle to drafting Felix Jones( who didn't even start in college) over Chris Johnson,Ray Rice, and Matt Forte
2- Jerry loves Frankenstein O Linemen. They could be timed by a sundial in the forty yard dash, as long as you are big. The clumsily the better. Types that can't walk and chew bubble gum at the same time. Who have two left feet.
3- Finally this next rule got broken a couple of years ago but both drafted players didn't last 2 years here. NO MIAMI HURRICANES SINCE JIMMY JOHNSON LEFT. Jerry holds petty grudges and you can look at the drafts since Jimmy Johnson left. For 20 years No drafted Hurricanes in Dallas .
4- Jerry likes weird names and goofy nicknames. Osa Odighizuwa last year. Taco Charlton a few years ago.
5- Jerry loves hearing the name " Jones". I believe Jerry envisions that's him making that play.
6- If Jerry hits gold at a college with a draft pick,he goes back searching for more. In other words expect a Penn State player this years draft.
7- Jerry does not shy away from criminals,thugs,pyschos,nutjobs as players. Nevermind team chemistry.
8- Jerry likes small midget WRs. He constantly is looking for a punt returner.
9- Before the draft, if a new name or rumors start popping up. Jerry is like a moth to a flame. This shiny object Jerry is enamored with.
10- Jerry constantly goes to small schools thinking this player is just as good.
11- Jerry will draft atleast one white token player.
12- Jerry loves to keep us in suspense by drafting down trading away a 1st round to get 3 7ths and Jerry is tempted to make that trade.
13- if Jerry feels the fan base is upset with early picks then Jerry will draft a homestate Texas player that played close by to appease the hostile crowd.
14- Jerry looks for medical risks as bargains
NEXT POST I WILL POST THE DRAFT
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