timb2
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Yes if you are new , this is a satire Mock Draft ,Just to prepare you if Jerry gets a wild hair and locks out everyone from the Dallas War Room and makes all the picks by himself( Everyones worst fear).....Don't believe Jerry has made bad decisions as a GM? Quincy Carter, Bobby Carpenter, Dwayne Goodrich, had to be talked out of drafting Johnny Manziel.
Now Jerry I studied and unlike someone like,Al Davis who looked for Combine Studs ,Jerry has no rhyme or reason. Some of his reasoning is the stupidest in the world.
JERRY' S RULES FOR DRAFTING.
* He loves his alma mater Arkansas.- If he can sneak a Razorback in without blowback,he will. It's why Felix Jones backup at Arkansas in the 1st round over Chris Johnson,Matt Forte,and Ray Rice.
* No Miami Hurricanes- Now Jerry finally broke this rule 2 years ago which my jaw dropped because it had been over 20 years since Jerry drafted a Hurricane . The reason because Jerry still hurts that Jimmie Johnson gets all the credit for the 90s team and not him. Petty grudge. Now he drafted 2 two years ago. Ask yourself why are they not still with the team?
* Jerry likes goofy stupid nicknames or some weird name you cannot pronounce. Nicknames I think Jerry thinks it makes you a special player. You're named Gizmo,Skeeter,Cricket,Taco,etc.You got a good chance.. The weird African names ,I think Jerry likes to torture everyone trying to say their name
* Jerry likes midget WRs. Got to have atleast one. He is always looking for the next Kelvin Martin.
* O-Lineman Jerry likes Frankensteins. You can be tall as a Mountain and be timed by a calendar in the 40 yard dash and Jerry is drooling for you.
* Jerry picks players with the last name Jones. I believe Jerry envisions and fantasizes that is him out there when the sportscaster calls out Jones on a play....Felix,Julius,Jimmie,Andy, Robert.
* When Jerry realizes fans hate his picks from Day 1 or Day 2, Jerry will draft some homegrown kids who played in Texas to appease the fans wrath.
* Jerry doesn't mind Criminals or Nutjobs as picks. You could be just released from jail and Jerry is ready to sign you to a contract.
* Jerry trades down. It's like he is torturing fans. We have have been waiting for hours. I guarantee if Jerry could trade down all picks for ten 7th round picks he would do it
* Jerry gets fixated on shiney objects. Whomever all the media talks about at the last minute Jerry is hypnotized.
* DEs & TEs Jerry will draft early. Fixated for edge rushers and Tight Ends. Early rounds.
* Some small school prospect that no one has never heard of and Jerry thinks this Division 3 player can start by the end of his rookie year. Some stud like from Sacred Heart,Northwest Missouri State,Western Illinois,etc.
* Jerry has his favorites ,so don't expect them to have competition.
* Jerry likes midget bowling balls as LBers
This helps, if you expect worst you won't be dissappointed.
So next post I will post Jerry's Draft Picks.
Now Jerry I studied and unlike someone like,Al Davis who looked for Combine Studs ,Jerry has no rhyme or reason. Some of his reasoning is the stupidest in the world.
JERRY' S RULES FOR DRAFTING.
* He loves his alma mater Arkansas.- If he can sneak a Razorback in without blowback,he will. It's why Felix Jones backup at Arkansas in the 1st round over Chris Johnson,Matt Forte,and Ray Rice.
* No Miami Hurricanes- Now Jerry finally broke this rule 2 years ago which my jaw dropped because it had been over 20 years since Jerry drafted a Hurricane . The reason because Jerry still hurts that Jimmie Johnson gets all the credit for the 90s team and not him. Petty grudge. Now he drafted 2 two years ago. Ask yourself why are they not still with the team?
* Jerry likes goofy stupid nicknames or some weird name you cannot pronounce. Nicknames I think Jerry thinks it makes you a special player. You're named Gizmo,Skeeter,Cricket,Taco,etc.You got a good chance.. The weird African names ,I think Jerry likes to torture everyone trying to say their name
* Jerry likes midget WRs. Got to have atleast one. He is always looking for the next Kelvin Martin.
* O-Lineman Jerry likes Frankensteins. You can be tall as a Mountain and be timed by a calendar in the 40 yard dash and Jerry is drooling for you.
* Jerry picks players with the last name Jones. I believe Jerry envisions and fantasizes that is him out there when the sportscaster calls out Jones on a play....Felix,Julius,Jimmie,Andy, Robert.
* When Jerry realizes fans hate his picks from Day 1 or Day 2, Jerry will draft some homegrown kids who played in Texas to appease the fans wrath.
* Jerry doesn't mind Criminals or Nutjobs as picks. You could be just released from jail and Jerry is ready to sign you to a contract.
* Jerry trades down. It's like he is torturing fans. We have have been waiting for hours. I guarantee if Jerry could trade down all picks for ten 7th round picks he would do it
* Jerry gets fixated on shiney objects. Whomever all the media talks about at the last minute Jerry is hypnotized.
* DEs & TEs Jerry will draft early. Fixated for edge rushers and Tight Ends. Early rounds.
* Some small school prospect that no one has never heard of and Jerry thinks this Division 3 player can start by the end of his rookie year. Some stud like from Sacred Heart,Northwest Missouri State,Western Illinois,etc.
* Jerry has his favorites ,so don't expect them to have competition.
* Jerry likes midget bowling balls as LBers
This helps, if you expect worst you won't be dissappointed.
So next post I will post Jerry's Draft Picks.
Last edited:
DAL @ GB
