Timb2's "Jerry Jones Has Lock The Doors to the Draft War Room & Making All The Picks" Mock Draft

[timb2]

This is my annual mock draft which is my disaster mock draft scenario expecting the worst and hoping the best.I have studied Jerry Jones and have been through all the bad drafts he has given us. Jones without being reigned has given us greats like Quincy Carter, Charlie Williams, Kenny Wheaton,Shante Carver and made great free agent pickups like Dimitroius Underwood & Pacman Jones....Luckily Garrett and Stephen have had Jerry under control talking him out of drafting players like Johnny Manziel....I have studied Jerry and he has no rhyme or reason for his picks.He has certain rules he does follow but if you think they make sense, you are mistaken. Unlike Al Davis who would use the combine looking for Olympic sprinters or some steroid muscle man.Jerry have a different philosophy. Here are some

1-No players from Miami(Hurricanes) ever since Jimmy Johnson has left.Jerry holds his petty grudges and still wants to prove it was him not Johnson who got us those 3 Superbowl Trophies.

2-If you played at Arkansas you have an inside track..Jerry loves his Alma Mater and if you were a Razorback you can be a backup like Felix Jones and you will be drafted in the 1st round by us.


3-If you have some stupid goofy nickname or a name no one can pronounce you could be a pick. Jerry must think this must make you a special player. Nickname like say "Taco" or some weird name like Chidobi Awusi have happened recently.

4-If you are a drug addict ,thug or a homicidal maniac ready to be sent to the funny farm for life,Jerry will consider you.

5-Midget WRs,Midget LBs and Jerry is intrigued

6-Big O-Linemen who could be timed by a sundial. As long as you are huge you could run a forty in 3 days and 15 hours and 5 minutes.Jerry will consider you and most likely try to make you a pulling guard.

7-Jerry has his favorites and so don't expect another TE with Jason Witten being signed. I am sure Jerry's nephew Tony Romo will be talked out of retirement soon. Also if you are some drunk lush like Johnny Manziel who can hang out with Jerry chasing strippers ,you could become the pick.

8-The Homer pick. Jerry gets worried that the Dallas fans are upset by his picks and some player from Texas who played at a Texas college will be selected.

9-Small college prospect. Jerry wants to show how smart he is and so some player who plays Division 3 football or even 8 man football Jerry will draft him.Not realizing this is the NFL not some bunch of guys who hang out at Hooter's over the weekend their apartment complex vs another apartment complex.




I will get the mock draft going on the next posts,but almost certain Shawn Oakman will be signed as a free agent....Barry Coefiled had cops pull guns on him after his DUI and so I am sure Jerry is interested.

 

[xwalker]

This is my annual mock draft which is my disaster mock draft scenario expecting the worst and hoping the best.I have studied Jerry Jones and have been through all the bad drafts he has given us. Jones without being reigned has given us greats like Quincy Carter, Charlie Williams, Kenny Wheaton,Shante Carver and made great free agent pickups like Dimitroius Underwood & Pacman Jones....Luckily Garrett and Stephen have had Jerry under control talking him out of drafting players like Johnny Manziel....I have studied Jerry and he has no rhyme or reason for his picks.He has certain rules he does follow but if you think they make sense, you are mistaken. Unlike Al Davis who would use the combine looking for Olympic sprinters or some steroid muscle man.Jerry have a different philosophy. Here are some

1-No players from Miami(Hurricanes) ever since Jimmy Johnson has left.Jerry holds his petty grudges and still wants to prove it was him not Johnson who got us those 3 Superbowl Trophies.

2-If you played at Arkansas you have an inside track..Jerry loves his Alma Mater and if you were a Razorback you can be a backup like Felix Jones and you will be drafted in the 1st round by us.


3-If you have some stupid goofy nickname or a name no one can pronounce you could be a pick. Jerry must think this must make you a special player. Nickname like say "Taco" or some weird name like Chidobi Awusi have happened recently.

4-If you are a drug addict ,thug or a homicidal maniac ready to be sent to the funny farm for life,Jerry will consider you.

5-Midget WRs,Midget LBs and Jerry is intrigued

6-Big O-Linemen who could be timed by a sundial. As long as you are huge you could run a forty in 3 days and 15 hours and 5 minutes.Jerry will consider you and most likely try to make you a pulling guard.

7-Jerry has his favorites and so don't expect another TE with Jason Witten being signed. I am sure Jerry's nephew Tony Romo will be talked out of retirement soon. Also if you are some drunk lush like Johnny Manziel who can hang out with Jerry chasing strippers ,you could become the pick.

8-The Homer pick. Jerry gets worried that the Dallas fans are upset by his picks and some player from Texas who played at a Texas college will be selected.

9-Small college prospect. Jerry wants to show how smart he is and so some player who plays Division 3 football or even 8 man football Jerry will draft him.Not realizing this is the NFL not some bunch of guys who hang out at Hooter's over the weekend their apartment complex vs another apartment complex.




I will get the mock draft going on the next posts,but almost certain Shawn Oakman will be signed as a free agent....Barry Coefiled had cops pull guns on him after his DUI and so I am sure Jerry is interested.

Much of that is false.

Felix is the only draft pick from Arkansas. If Jerry was picking based on his Alma Mater then he must have secretly attended Boise State.

You concept would be funny if true because Jerry did many dumb things in the draft for dumb reasons but I don't think you've captured the core of his dumb decisions.

He picked Quincy because some coach that Jerry knew but that didn't work for the Cowboys told him that Quincy was under-rated by scouts.

They did pick Goodrich based on Lacewell's connection to that college.

Sometimes it worked out like picking DeMarco Murray because Barry Switzer said he was good not because the Cowboys scouts told Jerry to pick him.

He traded up for Claiborne because the Rams called and asked specifically to speak to Jerry. They convinced him they would give him a bargain trade at less than chart value. The Cowboys had not had contact with Claiborne because they didn't expect to be able to draft him. It turned put that after 5 minutes in the classroom they realized he waz dumber than a box of rocks.

 

[Verdict]

This is my annual mock draft which is my disaster mock draft scenario expecting the worst and hoping the best.I have studied Jerry Jones and have been through all the bad drafts he has given us. Jones without being reigned has given us greats like Quincy Carter, Charlie Williams, Kenny Wheaton,Shante Carver and made great free agent pickups like Dimitroius Underwood & Pacman Jones....Luckily Garrett and Stephen have had Jerry under control talking him out of drafting players like Johnny Manziel....I have studied Jerry and he has no rhyme or reason for his picks.He has certain rules he does follow but if you think they make sense, you are mistaken. Unlike Al Davis who would use the combine looking for Olympic sprinters or some steroid muscle man.Jerry have a different philosophy. Here are some

1-No players from Miami(Hurricanes) ever since Jimmy Johnson has left.Jerry holds his petty grudges and still wants to prove it was him not Johnson who got us those 3 Superbowl Trophies.

2-If you played at Arkansas you have an inside track..Jerry loves his Alma Mater and if you were a Razorback you can be a backup like Felix Jones and you will be drafted in the 1st round by us.


3-If you have some stupid goofy nickname or a name no one can pronounce you could be a pick. Jerry must think this must make you a special player. Nickname like say "Taco" or some weird name like Chidobi Awusi have happened recently.

4-If you are a drug addict ,thug or a homicidal maniac ready to be sent to the funny farm for life,Jerry will consider you.

5-Midget WRs,Midget LBs and Jerry is intrigued

6-Big O-Linemen who could be timed by a sundial. As long as you are huge you could run a forty in 3 days and 15 hours and 5 minutes.Jerry will consider you and most likely try to make you a pulling guard.

7-Jerry has his favorites and so don't expect another TE with Jason Witten being signed. I am sure Jerry's nephew Tony Romo will be talked out of retirement soon. Also if you are some drunk lush like Johnny Manziel who can hang out with Jerry chasing strippers ,you could become the pick.

8-The Homer pick. Jerry gets worried that the Dallas fans are upset by his picks and some player from Texas who played at a Texas college will be selected.

9-Small college prospect. Jerry wants to show how smart he is and so some player who plays Division 3 football or even 8 man football Jerry will draft him.Not realizing this is the NFL not some bunch of guys who hang out at Hooter's over the weekend their apartment complex vs another apartment complex.




I will get the mock draft going on the next posts,but almost certain Shawn Oakman will be signed as a free agent....Barry Coefiled had cops pull guns on him after his DUI and so I am sure Jerry is interested.

#2 is patently false.

 

[timb2]

I forgot a couple of other rules by Jerry.

10-Jerry double dips at colleges. If he picks a good player there,he will go back to that school. Ellis and then Ekuban next year. Elliott & then Noah Brown next year.Tyronne Crawford and then Demarcus Lawrence.

11-DEs and TEs usually go early.





2-Preston Williams WR Colorado State
reason-Double -dip at Colorado State and Williams has had trouble with the law.


3-Daniel Imatorbhebhe TE USC
reason-That last name,WHAT IS THAT? That is a dyslexic nightmare


4-Jahlani Tavai MLB Hawaii
reason-Gets arrested for assault between the combine and the draft. Not the brightest bulb??


4-Penny Hart WR Georgia State.
Reason-He hits on midget WR and nickname "Penny".Georgia State also hits the small school


5-Zachary Cannon DT Johnson C. Smith
reason-One of the obscure colleges that Jerry will try to impress that he found this special gem of a player.


6-Kaian Durverger WR Virginia,College at Wise
reason-see above.


7-Vitas Hrykenwicz C Youngstown State
reason-same as above

 

[darthseinfeld]

Much of that is false.

Felix is the only draft pick from Arkansas. If Jerry was picking based on his Alma Mater then he must have secretly attended Boise State.

You concept would be funny if true because Jerry did many dumb things in the draft for dumb reasons but I don't think you've captured the core of his dumb decisions.

He picked Quincy because some coach that Jerry knew but that didn't work for the Cowboys told him that Quincy was under-rated by scouts.

They did pick Goodrich based on Lacewell's connection to that college.

Sometimes it worked out like picking DeMarco Murray because Barry Switzer said he was good not because the Cowboys scouts told Jerry to pick him.

He traded up for Claiborne because the Rams called and asked specifically to speak to Jerry. They convinced him they would give him a bargain trade at less than chart value. The Cowboys had not had contact with Claiborne because they didn't expect to be able to draft him. It turned put that after 5 minutes in the classroom they realized he waz dumber than a box of rocks.

I think Ken Hamlin is the only other Razorback we have had since 2000.

I think we had one on the team in the 90's too, but I dont recall

 

[xwalker]

I think Ken Hamlin is the only other Razorback we have had since 2000.

I think we had one on the team in the 90's too, but I dont recall

QB Clint Stoerner
UDFA 2000
With the Cowboys 2000-2002

Also Darren McFadden signed as a free agent.

 

[CF74]

I hate when he does that...




But on a more serious note, Jerry is busy with his shiny new toy, the mega yacht....

 

[timb2]

I think Ken Hamlin is the only other Razorback we have had since 2000.

I think we had one on the team in the 90's too, but I dont recall

Darren McFadden, Ray Dominguez,Clint Stoerner,Anthony Lucas,some scrub CB can't even remember his name.

 

[timb2]

Dre Greenlaw OLB Arkansas has a visit lined up with the Dallas Cowboys...IT's COMING, IT's COMING. SOMEBODY BREAK THAT DOOR HANDLE OFF IN THE DRAFT WAR ROOM BEFORE JERRY CAN LOCK THE DOOR!! PRONTO!!


Also other Razorbacks like Dan Skipper was also on our practice squad in the past

 

[timb2]

This is my annual mock draft which is my disaster mock draft scenario expecting the worst and hoping the best.I have studied Jerry Jones and have been through all the bad drafts he has given us. Jones without being reigned has given us greats like Quincy Carter, Charlie Williams, Kenny Wheaton,Shante Carver and made great free agent pickups like Dimitroius Underwood & Pacman Jones....Luckily Garrett and Stephen have had Jerry under control talking him out of drafting players like Johnny Manziel....I have studied Jerry and he has no rhyme or reason for his picks.He has certain rules he does follow but if you think they make sense, you are mistaken. Unlike Al Davis who would use the combine looking for Olympic sprinters or some steroid muscle man.Jerry have a different philosophy. Here are some

1-No players from Miami(Hurricanes) ever since Jimmy Johnson has left.Jerry holds his petty grudges and still wants to prove it was him not Johnson who got us those 3 Superbowl Trophies.

2-If you played at Arkansas you have an inside track..Jerry loves his Alma Mater and if you were a Razorback you can be a backup like Felix Jones and you will be drafted in the 1st round by us.


3-If you have some stupid goofy nickname or a name no one can pronounce you could be a pick. Jerry must think this must make you a special player. Nickname like say "Taco" or some weird name like Chidobi Awusi have happened recently.

4-If you are a drug addict ,thug or a homicidal maniac ready to be sent to the funny farm for life,Jerry will consider you.

5-Midget WRs,Midget LBs and Jerry is intrigued

6-Big O-Linemen who could be timed by a sundial. As long as you are huge you could run a forty in 3 days and 15 hours and 5 minutes.Jerry will consider you and most likely try to make you a pulling guard.

7-Jerry has his favorites and so don't expect another TE with Jason Witten being signed. I am sure Jerry's nephew Tony Romo will be talked out of retirement soon. Also if you are some drunk lush like Johnny Manziel who can hang out with Jerry chasing strippers ,you could become the pick.

8-The Homer pick. Jerry gets worried that the Dallas fans are upset by his picks and some player from Texas who played at a Texas college will be selected.

9-Small college prospect. Jerry wants to show how smart he is and so some player who plays Division 3 football or even 8 man football Jerry will draft him.Not realizing this is the NFL not some bunch of guys who hang out at Hooter's over the weekend their apartment complex vs another apartment complex.




I will get the mock draft going on the next posts,but almost certain Shawn Oakman will be signed as a free agent....Barry Coefiled had cops pull guns on him after his DUI and so I am sure Jerry is interested.

So how did I do???

1-2 HURRICANES!!! The spell is over.It has been over 20 years and we finally drafted Hurricanes again

2-No Razorbacks-I struck out here and even as a UDFA.

3-3 for 3 againist me. Man I am striking out.No goofy nicknames or weird names.

4-Jury is out on Tristen Hill,but we count it as a miss 4-4 againist me

5-Midget WR-I got Tony Pollard,so I get one correct

6-Huge Frankenstein O-Linemen,Nope I am having a bad year and losing my touch.

7-No TE because of Witten being a Jerry Jones favorite. I got that one correct.

8-The Homer pick being nervous fans are upset over the draft so far. I got this one correct with that Aggie safety.

9-Small school prospect-Not sure if Tristen Hill counts,so that is a "No".

10-Did Jerry double dip from the year before? Nope I got that wrong.

11-DEs and TEs usually go early? Nope.


OK Jerry you are Cowboyszone member here.So what's your name here because you finally catching on after reading my rants...LOL!!...But I still got a few right.