Top Ten Signs The Patriots Are Getting Cocky

Faerluna

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Late Night with David Letterman

From the Home Office in Wahoo, Nebraska...
An Exclusive Un-Aired Top Ten List
Edited From the 1/14/08 Broadcast

Top Ten Signs The Patriots Are Getting Cocky


10. Practicing in Las Vegas to make it easier to bet on themselves
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9. Bill Belichick calls the plays from an area Hooters
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8. Players seen checking their Blackberries on the field
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7. Super Bowl victory parade scheduled for this weekend
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6. New starting free safety: that dead guy in the office chair
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5. Last weekend played most of the fourth quarter in street clothes
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4. Instead of Gatorade, they're drinking Jagermeister, dude!
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3. No number 3 -- wrtier seeing the film Gene Shalit calls, "exhilarating," "The Bucket List" -- in theaters now
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2. Told Jesus they didn't need his help
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1. Entire team is dating Jessica Simpson
 

Faerluna

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Monday, February 04, 2008
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Top Ten New England Patriots Excuses Top Ten

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What? It's best-of-seven
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Too much pre-game chowder
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Since when is that dude allowed to catch a ball with his head?!
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Terrified by that Fox football robot
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Everything was fine til' Dr. Phil decided to straighten us out
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Should have campaigned harder in Florida
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Entire team stayed up late that night before watching Hannah Montana concert movie
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Exhausted after spending hours consoling a weepy Terrell Owens
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Thought game was supposed to be played on Super Tuesday
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Airline lost our 'roids
 
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