Top Ten Things More Likely Than Us Winning a Div Playoff Game

ArtClink

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10. AT&T Stadium curtains are closed for all Cowboys games
9. Gene Jones Jeans are discontinued from the stadium’s Victoria Secrets shop
8. Jerry removes his ball cap (and toupee) in training camp during the national anthem
7. The NFL drops its requirement for the armed forces to pay for the privilege of being “honored” during the pregame and broadcast
6. George Strait gets sober
5. Jerry swears off hookers, Johnny Walker Blue, and NDA’s
4. Jerry sells the team
3. The Browns finally find their franchise QB
2. The UFL (ie, spring “football” league) sells out every game
1. The Lakers trade Luka back to Dallas
 
#1 That asteroid everyone is worrying about takes out the Spaceship
#2 Jethro turns out to be a cross dresser
#3 Stephan comes out as transgender
#4 Dak gets religion and becomes the next Dalai Lama
#5 Micah takes a vow of silence until we win a SB
#6 Goofsmell becomes a born again Cowboys Fan
#7 Mel Kiper shaves his head
#8 Andy Reid loses 200 lbs
#9 Michael Irvin becomes a Catholic Priest
#10 We spend $100 million on other teams FA's
 

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