Toughest TV Baddest Tournament of 16-You Pick The Winner

[timb2]

OK ,my scenario of what happens for the first matches.



East Bracket Matches

1st Match Captain James T. Kirk vs B.A. Barrackus

The setting is a lot where the A-Team use to do all there shoot up and blow up a billion things and not one person died on the TV show sets.Kirk is at a disadvantage physically and Barrackus says "I pity da fool" and is having his way with Kirk pummeling him,but Kirk finally at the last moment remembers B.A. Barrackus doesn't like to fly and so he calls Scottie to beam two up to The Enterprise. Barrackus goes into a freak out fit in space and freezes up...WINNER -KIRK goes to the next round

2nd MatchTony Soprano vs Spartacus
Set in the Roman Colosseum with the crowds cheering on Spartacus. Soprano puts up a good fight and is dirty,but Soprano realizes he is in Rome,Italy and craving Italian food Soprano gets disqualified for walking out looking for a calzone.....WINNER-SPARTACUS goes to next round vs Captain James T. Kirk.

3rd Match-Steve Austin vs Esther

Set at a junkyard in Watts.Six Million Dollar Man is Strong and can run 60MPH,and has that Bionic Eye,but just one thing,HE IS CONSTANTLY IN SLOW MOTION!!!. Esther wails on Austin with her loaded purse and she knocks him out because she is not in slow motion.------WINNER Esther, goes to the next round


4TH Match--James West vs Rich Grimes

Set in Zombie World,this is a tight fight and both are fighting tooth and nail and all of sudden Grimes sees his son and Grimes son says'Dad I thought we were suppose to fight zombies"? Grimes becomes amazed his son is alive and while being distracted James West knocks Grimes out for the win. Grimes son rips off his face and it was Ross Martin all along. West & Martin feel somewhat bad for the trickery and promise Grimes he can join them on the train and get out of Zombie World....WINNER--James West vs Esther








West Brackets Matches



1st Match-Kato vs Rangor Loth Brok

Set in Chinatown, Kato has a fight on his hands Brok is bigger stronger and mean with weapons,but the one fighter in this tournament who could grab your weapons and use them againist you is Kato....Brok comes with a wooden spear lunging at Kato. Kato grabs it and breaks it in half to make numchuks. Kato has the speed advantage and his speed is what give him the knockout of the Big Viking....WINNER---KATO goes to next round.



2nd Match Batman vs The Mountain

Set in Gotham,Batman hears "KAPOW","SLAM","BIFF","Zonk"....And it is Batman getting the worse of it vs The Mountain.Batman cannot match brawn with The Mountain so after taking a beating, Batman uses his gadgets and brains. Batman's utility belt has a sonor pulse that is deafening,but only works until it runs out of charge,but gives Batman enough time vs The Mountain to use his head. Batman uses his powers of dance(Yes the eyes and bat ears dance moves )to distract The Mountain who can't stop laughing and gives Batman enough time to knock The Mountain silly....WINNER BATMAN goes to next round vs Kato






3rd Match Walker Texas Ranger vs Jack Bauer

Set in Texas, this is a close contest Bauer is out smarting Walker ,but Bauer gets cocky thinking he has it in the bag and all of sudden Corey Feldman &The other Vampire Kid come out of no where and know who Jack Bauer really is and he is that Punk Rock Vampire from "The Lost Boys" Feldman throws Walker a wooden stake and Walker finishes off Bauer.....WINNER-Walker Texas Ranger



4th Match The Lone Ranger vs Clay Mooro

Set in the Old Wild West...The Lone Ranger fights a modern day outlaw and this is fist flying all day with Morrow not backing down. They fight into the night brawling until the full moon comes out and Morrow(played by Ron Pearlman) turns into The Beast from "Beauty and The Beast' that he use to play.He looks to have the advantage over The Lone Ranger,but just one thing he forgot. The Lone Ranger carries silver bullets....Winner The Lone Ranger goes to next round vs Walker Texas Ranger.



OK I will do my 2nd round contest later for my scenario.

East Bracket James T. Kirk vs Spartacus

Again set in the Roman Collsiuem The crowd is cheering on Spartacus and Kirk feels over come vs this Gladiator. Spartacus is just as agile as Kirk is. Kirk notices one thing in the audience and Caesar says "The Winner gets to have all the Maidens he wants at the event. Well Spartacus might be good,but with beautiful women awarded for the winner ,it ends fast...----Kirk is the winner by a judo chop,sand in Spartacus eyes,and Kirk hoping to find his thrist for maidens.



Aunt Esther vs James West

Set in the West,now Esther beat Steve Austin because he is a nice guy who wouldn't hit a woman,but if you ever see the opening credits for Wild Wild West the TV show ,you know James West would hit a braud. Both are pretty evenly matched. Esther is swinging her purse and James West goes for a punch and that sets Aunt Esther off and she is swinging calling West a "Heathen" and knocking West around. All of sudden Fred Sanford appears and says "Aunt Esther why you hitting on this guy"? "I will put my money on West knocks you out". Well this infuriates Esther who can't stand Fred either and she starts wailing on Fred,BUT the disguise falls off and it is Ross Martin again,.While the refs back is turned and is distracted looking at Ross Martin, that Midget Dr. Loveless sneaks in and kicks West in the @#&%. Refs sees West is out and awards Aunt Esther the win. Both West and Martin promise Aunt Esther they will go to church,just leave the Wild Wild West.



West Bracket

Kato vs Batman

Set in Gotham, Batman is going to have his hands full with this Martial Arts Hero. Batman tries to hit Kato but Kato blocks everything even smiling back in humor and using his hand waving for more. Batman goes for a Bat Boomerang and Kato flips it back and ties up Batman instead. Kato confindently smiling and walking calmly over to finish off Batman when Batman says"You know if you were my sidekick ,I wouldn't make you drive me around,cook and clean up after me". "In fact ,I would call you my chum". Batman hit a sensitive nerve on Kato and Kato is upset and losing his composure tears in his eyes ,He walks out of Gotham not looking to beat up Batman,but beat the crap out of The Green Hornet for treating him bad as a friend....WINNER BATMAN goes to next round when Kato walks out of the fight.



Walker Texas Ranger vs The Lone Ranger

Set in Texas (Walker Texas Rangers Time Period) Both Lawmen really don't want to fight each other from respect of each other ,but it does start after a few minutes. Walker hits The Lone Ranger with some kicks,but this is The Lone Ranger who is fit and younger than Walker Texas Ranger. Both Rangers are going back and forth.When some other characters show up on the CBS 90s Friday Night Lineup. The Lone Ranger sees Sammo Hung from "Martial Law" and he sees Arsenal Hall,but then he sees THE BABE OF THE SHOW Kelly Hu. The Lone Ranger cuts a deal with Walker. Let Kelly Hu come back in time with him to be his sidekick and I will give you this Indian guy(Tonto) who won't stop having a mancrush on him to put on "Martial Law"......Winner Walker Texas Ranger... .

 

[timb2]

East Bracket


Captain James T. Kirk vs Aunt Esther

Set on a alien planet being overlooked by the Starship Enterprise.-Kirk sizes Aunt Esther up thinking this could get ugly like when he took on the Salt Monster or that slow moving Lizard guy.He is going to have to be agile and crafty...Esther giving Kirk an evil stare with her biting her upper lip getting meaner and meaner looking. Esther starts talking trash "You ain't gonna get me swooning for your playboy good looks and moves like the other ladies" "YOU ARE A HEATHEN AND A DEVIL". "I'm a church going woman who will fight your temptation"...Kirk does his crouch pose circling looking for an opening againist Esther while she keeps talking trash/ "You ain't gonna get me swooning you handsome devil"!..."Those beautiful eyes,chisled features" Then Kirk realizes and gets out of the crouch and stands straight up and gives that debonair grin with his eyebrows turned up as a ladies man.Kirk tells Esther "Go ahead rip my shirt off" Esther does and Kirk grabs Esther bends her over gives her a kiss and she faints from the excitement......WINNER KIRK TO THE FINALS!!!



West Bracket

Batman vs Walker Texas Ranger

Set in Gotham.. Batman has another challenger who could kick his head off at anytime.Walker has seen Batman has won by his wits just not just fighting ability and utility belt... They circle each other both looking for an opening. Batman tell Walker "I don't know why we have to fight because you and me are both good upstanding citizens.Walker not falling for anything says " Yeah it's a shame like you getting typecasted"..Batman looks shocked and Walker hits several kicks at Batman knocking him around and dizzy...."Batman still trying to match with strength "Thump,POW, Crash" but Walker is still there and not being phased. Walker talking about how he had other roles trying get deeper into Batman's mental psyche to wear him out..Then with Batman reeling ready to lose .Batman sees Robin bring over a TV and Batman grabs it and turns it on, it is showing a Chuck Norris film festival. "Missing in Action 3","Invasion USA","Forrest Warrior", while Walker takes a few steps back in shock.
"Lone Wolf McQuade,"Sidekicks",Forced Vengenace"' and many more movie disasters you can't remember or want too and Batman looks urgently trying to get rid of the TV full of crappy movies ready for DVD over his head. saying "SOMEDAYS YOU JUST CAN'T GET RID OF A BOMB"!! Walker is shaken and a mess by the critique of his movies and wanders off mumbling to himself and the REF calls the fight by TKO. Walker is out on his feet....WINNER BATMAN GOES TO THE FINALS




FINAL MATCH NEXT POST

Captain James T. Kirk vs Batman



Place your bets !!!

 

[timb2]

OK here is Timb2's Finals Scenario


Captain James T. Kirk vs Batman

Both have won not just with physical ability but using their wits to beat others.

Set in Gotham with The Enterprise close by hovering above.


Kirk and Batman both size each other up looking for an opening. Kirk in his usual crouch position,but Batman being weary of any fast tricks..... Both struggling to get an edge over the other. Kirk tries to reason with Batman l"Let me win and I promise you won't be embarrassed". Batman responds "Not a chance my good citizen,but Catwoman/Ms Kitka is a mainstay on my show" "So is Frank Gorshin as The Riddler" only spots on your show.Kind of shakes up Kirk's acting chops ego..... With Robin, Comissioner,Cheif O'Hara cheering on Batman Kirk realizes maybe a change of scenery and he tells Scottie beam two up . Scottie obliges but they get intercepted by a airplane who is in a horrible storm.Kirk is in the plane and Batman is on the wing of the plane. Kirk yells "There is a MAN ON THE WING OF THIS PLANE"!!! People on the plane think Kirk is nuts and even when he tries to explain he is from the future on The Enterprise the people put Kirk in a straight jacket . BATMAN is the WINNER.....



Batman

 

[JohnnyTheFox]

OK here is Timb2's Finals Scenario


Captain James T. Kirk vs Batman

Both have won not just with physical ability but using their wits to beat others.

Set in Gotham with The Enterprise close by hovering above.


Kirk and Batman both size each other up looking for an opening. Kirk in his usual crouch position,but Batman being weary of any fast tricks..... Both struggling to get an edge over the other. Kirk tries to reason with Batman l"Let me win and I promise you won't be embarrassed". Batman responds "Not a chance my good citizen,but Catwoman/Ms Kitka is a mainstay on my show" "So is Frank Gorshin as The Riddler" only spots on your show.Kind of shakes up Kirk's acting chops ego..... With Robin, Comissioner,Cheif O'Hara cheering on Batman Kirk realizes maybe a change of scenery and he tells Scottie beam two up . Scottie obliges but they get intercepted by a airplane who is in a horrible storm.Kirk is in the plane and Batman is on the wing of the plane. Kirk yells "There is a MAN ON THE WING OF THIS PLANE"!!! People on the plane think Kirk is nuts and even when he tries to explain he is from the future on The Enterprise the people put Kirk in a straight jacket . BATMAN is the WINNER.....



Batman

Kudos for the nod to The Twilight Zone, but I disagree. Kirk woulda won with that Federation training.

 

[The Ominous]

Either one...

 

[Quickdraw]

My picks would be Popeye vs The Tazmanian Devil. I know they're not in the brackets but they'd be in mine.

 

[timb2]

Bill Bixby/Lou Ferrigno chuckles at your puny contest.

Hmmm, maybe we have a SuperBout -Hulk vs Sasquatch(Six Million Dollar Man)

 

[DallasEast]

Hmmm, maybe we have a SuperBout -Hulk vs Sasquatch(Six Million Dollar Man)

TV Hulk versus TV Sasquatch?

Put me down for a 5-spot on TV Sasquatch. His slo-mo fight with Steve was better than any slo-mo fight I remember TV Hulk having against an opponent.



Plus, I still have an issue seeing TV Hulk strain to lift a car. That left a lasting mark on my comic books reading youth.