jksmith269
Proud Navy Veteran 1990-1995
- Messages
- 3,939
- Reaction score
- 57
Subject: Why Some Jocks Can't Have Real Jobs
Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
"I wan'all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me.
I wan' all the kids to copulate me."
New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked
about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000
or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over
my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the
Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann,
1996 : "Nobody in football should be called a genius.
A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh:
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how
long it takes." (now that is beautiful)
Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys
line up alphabetically by height." And, "You guys
pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking
up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone
expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for
three years, not Princeton ." (This one is clever.)
Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why
he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's
so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still
find my clothes."
Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime
of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at
six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."
Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player,
explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous
at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I
don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
(I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in
January)
Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him,
'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?'
He said, "Coach, I don't know and I don't care." ( My favorite)
Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what
he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to
me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked
by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded:
"Because she's too ugly to kiss goodbye."
Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
"I wan'all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me.
I wan' all the kids to copulate me."
New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked
about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000
or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over
my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the
Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann,
1996 : "Nobody in football should be called a genius.
A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh:
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how
long it takes." (now that is beautiful)
Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys
line up alphabetically by height." And, "You guys
pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking
up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone
expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for
three years, not Princeton ." (This one is clever.)
Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why
he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's
so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still
find my clothes."
Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime
of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at
six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."
Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player,
explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous
at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I
don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
(I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in
January)
Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him,
'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?'
He said, "Coach, I don't know and I don't care." ( My favorite)
Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what
he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to
me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked
by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded:
"Because she's too ugly to kiss goodbye."