Why men die before women

Rackat

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Do you know how tough it is being a man…? If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you’re a male chauvinist.

If you stay home and do the housework, you’re a pansy. If you work too hard there is never any time for her. If you don’t work enough, you’re a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your *** and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it’s equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it’s sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it’s male indifference.

If you cry, you’re a wimp. If you don’t, you’re an insensitive *******.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you’re a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she’s a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy, that’s domination. If she asks you, it’s a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you’re a pervert. If you don’t, you’re gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you’re sexist. If you don’t, you’re unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you’re vain. If you don’t, you’re a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you’re after something. If you don’t, you’re not thoughtful.

If you’re proud of your achievements, you’re full of yourself. If you don’t, you’re not ambitious.

If she has a head ache, she’s tired. If you have a headache, you don’t love her anymore.

If you want it too often, you’re oversexed. If you don’t, there must be someone else.

NO WONDER MEN DIE BEFORE WOMEN! …….. THEY WANT TO!!
 
loved it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my wife is still laughing as i type.
 
Great List ....

I am printing it out and posting it at my office ....
 
http://img.***BLOCKED***/albums/v661/payton34smith22/STUFF/mendie1.jpg

http://img.***BLOCKED***/albums/v661/payton34smith22/STUFF/mendie2.jpg

http://img.***BLOCKED***/albums/v661/payton34smith22/STUFF/mendie3.jpg

http://img.***BLOCKED***/albums/v661/payton34smith22/STUFF/mendie4.jpg
 
Payton34Smith22;1390950 said:
http://img.***BLOCKED***/albums/v661/payton34smith22/STUFF/mendie1.jpg

http://img.***BLOCKED***/albums/v661/payton34smith22/STUFF/mendie2.jpg

http://img.***BLOCKED***/albums/v661/payton34smith22/STUFF/mendie3.jpg

http://img.***BLOCKED***/albums/v661/payton34smith22/STUFF/mendie4.jpg

hilarious!!!!!!

i could look at pictures like these for days.
 
Those pictures remind me of the first time I saw my wife...

She was wearing a pair of "Ditto" jeans (for those of you old enough to remember them) and bending over pulling envelopes out of a barrel at work. I ran my mail cart into the doorway of her bosses office. DOH!

27 years later I still can't take my eyes off her. :D :starspin
 
Hey man, did you ask ur wife to help u with that list? If you didn't, you're going to be accused of being inconsiderate. If you did, you are going to be accused of trying to get her to betray the whole female existense. Oh man, you are in deep #### now!!!!! :) heeh
 
THUMPER;1391278 said:
Those pictures remind me of the first time I saw my wife...

She was wearing a pair of "Ditto" jeans (for those of you old enough to remember them) and bending over pulling envelopes out of a barrel at work. I ran my mail cart into the doorway of her bosses office. DOH!

27 years later I still can't take my eyes off her. :D :starspin

LOL, Nice!
 
THUMPER;1391278 said:
Those pictures remind me of the first time I saw my wife...

She was wearing a pair of "Ditto" jeans (for those of you old enough to remember them) and bending over pulling envelopes out of a barrel at work. I ran my mail cart into the doorway of her bosses office. DOH!

27 years later I still can't take my eyes off her. :D :starspin

...........and still lookin' for work.
icon10.gif
 
Statistics show that married men live longer than single men, although married men are much more willing to die... ;)
 
THUMPER;1391278 said:
Those pictures remind me of the first time I saw my wife...

She was wearing a pair of "Ditto" jeans (for those of you old enough to remember them) and bending over pulling envelopes out of a barrel at work. I ran my mail cart into the doorway of her bosses office. DOH!

27 years later I still can't take my eyes off her. :D :starspin

Ditto jeans were awesome!
 
Now that's just too darn funny!
I'll give it five...
:starspin :starspin :starspin :starspin :starspin​
 
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