Reverend Conehead
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After the Eagles loss to the 49ers, the NFCE has now become close. If we win out and the Eagles lose both to us and to one more team, we're NFC East champs. Man, I would love that. Okay, it goes further. The Eagles still get a wildcard spot in the playoffs. They upset the 49ers and end up playing the Cowboys in the NFC Championship. The Cowboys trounce them. We're leading the Eagles 80 to nothing with 10 seconds left. It's 4th down, and a 67-yard field goal is possible. So we let him kick it! Aubrey gets the field goal record in the Super Bowl, and it's 3 more points to humiliate the Eagles with.
After the game, they interview the upset Eagles fans. They say:
"Waaahhh. We deserved this loss. We Eagles fans tend to be terrible people. This is karma getting us back."
"I was one of the jerks who booed when Donovan McNabb was drafted. That was a dirtbag thing to do. Now I'm hurting over this humiliating loss, and I totally deserve every bit of it for being such a scumbag."
"It's obvious that God hates us. He has good reason to. We're a bunch of trashy dregs of society. We've never had any sportsmanship, and we harass the fans of other teams in our stadium. That makes us filthy, evil sinners, and God is going to send us to hell where we deserve to go."
"I must confess. I was one of the trashy goons who cheered when Michael Irvin got his career-ending injury and didn't know if he would ever walk again. That was a scummy and disgusting thing to do. Now karma has come back to me. I totally deserve this awful loss for acting like such a goonie bird. The Devil is probably going to shove a red-hot stove poker up my bum, and that's exactly what I deserve for being a piece o' crap E-Goons fan."
"Here's my bag of batteries. Come help me throw them at people. I'm a piece of crap who assaults people, but what do you expect from an Eagles fan? We're proud of having no sportsmanship."
Then the next season, the Eagles go 0 and 17.
Let's have this happen. I really want it to happen. It would be wonderful.
After the game, they interview the upset Eagles fans. They say:
"Waaahhh. We deserved this loss. We Eagles fans tend to be terrible people. This is karma getting us back."
"I was one of the jerks who booed when Donovan McNabb was drafted. That was a dirtbag thing to do. Now I'm hurting over this humiliating loss, and I totally deserve every bit of it for being such a scumbag."
"It's obvious that God hates us. He has good reason to. We're a bunch of trashy dregs of society. We've never had any sportsmanship, and we harass the fans of other teams in our stadium. That makes us filthy, evil sinners, and God is going to send us to hell where we deserve to go."
"I must confess. I was one of the trashy goons who cheered when Michael Irvin got his career-ending injury and didn't know if he would ever walk again. That was a scummy and disgusting thing to do. Now karma has come back to me. I totally deserve this awful loss for acting like such a goonie bird. The Devil is probably going to shove a red-hot stove poker up my bum, and that's exactly what I deserve for being a piece o' crap E-Goons fan."
"Here's my bag of batteries. Come help me throw them at people. I'm a piece of crap who assaults people, but what do you expect from an Eagles fan? We're proud of having no sportsmanship."
Then the next season, the Eagles go 0 and 17.
Let's have this happen. I really want it to happen. It would be wonderful.
