Things to never say to a cop

[csirl]

About 25 years ago I worked in industrial relations/HR and used to get the chance to argue against police unions looking for better pay and conditions. Must have done a good job against them - waa told that they were glad I was leaving when I changed jobs!

 

[Reverend Conehead]

How could I forget? I heard of some dude who said a two-word sentence to a cop, which was extremely ill-advised:
...
Make me.

 

[timb2]

Police Officier " What's your name"?

You "Ura Fretogonow".

Police Officier " You're free to go now"?

You " Oh thank you Officier, bye".

 

[Flamma]

Officer. I smell alcohol, can you step outside?
Me. If I could walk, I wouldn't be driving.

All joking aside, true story. I'm a little kid in the back seat. Father driving erratically while arguing with my mother. Cop pulls him over. The first thing my mother says when the cop walks up, don't mess with my husband when he's been drinking. She said that just to make him go through the motions.

 

[Runwildboys]

Officer. I smell alcohol, can you step outside?
Me. If I could walk, I wouldn't be driving.

All joking aside, true story. I'm a little kid in the back seat. Father driving erratically while arguing with my mother. Cop pulls him over. The first thing my mother says when the cop walks up, don't mess with my husband when he's been drinking. She said that just to make him go through the motions.

Who did you go to live with, after the divorce?

 

[Flamma]

Who did you go to live with, after the divorce?

LOL, they never divorced. My father was a glutton for punishment. My mother was just over the top mean sometimes.

 

[nobody]

LOL, they never divorced. My father was a glutton for punishment. My mother was just over the top mean sometimes.

Your dad was definitely either a masochist or a saint, then.

 

[Flamma]

Your dad was definitely either a masochist or a saint, then.

I guess masochist. He was your typical bruiser. Often short tempered. But powerless when it came to my mother. Think of beauty and the beast.

 

[BrAinPaiNt]

Officer, your boots look dirty, may I lick them clean?

You might want to lay off the donuts and food. You are a two second run away from having a heart attack. I did not know they made tactical vests that big to cover that out of shape body.

Why do you pervert the image of the flag by putting a blue line through it. Is the Flag not good enough?

Officer, what does Rules for thee but not for me or Back the blue until it happens to you mean?

 

[plasticman]

"That's him right there, officer! That's the guy who stole my meth!"

 

[Runwildboys]

"That's him right there, officer! That's the guy who stole my meth!"

I wanted to post a video, but it breaks the foul language rule.

 

[Reverend Conehead]

"That's him right there, officer! That's the guy who stole my meth!"

This one hits home. My family knows a man who was a cop back when no states had made cannabis legal yet. Some dude called up the police department to complain, "Someone stole my marijuana."

 

[timb2]

I knew a Cop and he told me a funny story. He had pulled over a college girl for speeding. He got her info and noticed when came back to the car she had hiked up her skirt and showing more cleavage. She said to him " Officier I thought attractive people didn't get tickets"? He replied " They don't, here's your ticket and you might want to button your blouse and lower your skirt some before you catch a cold".