What ten handheld items would you pack for an apocylpse or disaster scenario

My pistol S&w 642 (for conceal)
solar radio
Knife w/ attached Ferro rod
cigar case packed full
Multi-tool w / bit set
stainless canteen
head lamp
tourniquet
Titan Super Paracord (has 7 strands including fishing line, jute tinder and snare wire).
whiskey flask
 
One pistol
One bullet
One sign that reads, "Finally!"
Rat poison, to kill the ones that eat my body
An American flag, because....'Murica!
A note that reads, "I have A.I.D.S, so don't get any ideas!
A hand grenade to booby trap my boots
A picture of Kate Beckinsale
A spare bullet
A cell phone, with 9-1-1 at the ready, in case I miss
 
One pistol
One bullet
One sign that reads, "Finally!"
Rat poison, to kill the ones that eat my body
An American flag, because....'Murica!
A note that reads, "I have A.I.D.S, so don't get any ideas!
A hand grenade to booby trap my boots
A picture of Kate Beckinsale
A spare bullet
A cell phone, with 9-1-1 at the ready, in case I miss


I would have gone with:

1 bullet (.40 cal)
A pistol (Sig Arms .40)
8 pictures of Kate Beckinsale
 
If an apocalypse occurred I likely wouldn't have any interest in remaining alive. I mean I really don't want to return to the middle ages or most likely far worse situation. I require air conditioning. :)
 
Relax, I've spent my entire adult life preparing for it so by Murphy's law it will never happen.

Me relax? If I were more relaxed I would likely melt away.

As for prepping for an apocalypse. I have zero interest in that. I will prep for power outages, blizzards, etc. Though packing away food to last six months or years isn't for me.
 
This requires a great deal of thought so my list isn't complete:
My Bible
My gun (Sorry, I don't know what kind it is.)
Oatmeal squares
Sunscreen
Toothbrush with toothpaste
Aspirin
Canteen
Matches in a plastic bag
Compass
Knife
 
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10 copies of "How to Survive the Apocalypse" and trade nine for food, whiskey, cigars and women. They would have to share the books because I ain't trading an a one for one basis for women. And all the women would want to be with CC because the crafty old codger had the only book with all the pages intact. I figure it's going to be survival of the fittest and I will need an edge. And a couple of the women are going to need to be plus sizes in case I run out of food.

As you can readily see, I have been crafting a plan for quite some time. I just hope the apocalypse doesn't come before I fulfill my destiny of being shot by a jealous husband while exiting the bedroom window. The fact that I was there only to steal the nightlight is irrelevant.
 
This requires a great deal of thought so my list isn't complete:
My Bible
Laptop that can play my Cowboy DVDs
Battery chargers
Pictures of my Cowboys for when the battery chargers wear out
Those healthy oatmeal squares I refuse to eat
Sunscreen
Toothbrush and lots of toothpaste
Hair brush
Aspirin
Canteen
Matches in a plastic bag
Knife & sharpener
My gun (Sorry, I don't know what kind it is. It's black.)
Pictures of Kate Beckinsale to taunt Runny with
My phone just in case GPS isn't down yet
That's 15, you'll have to have a child with you for the overage,
 
Remington 700. 30-06
Bushmaster .223
Remington 870 12 GA
military grade tent
fishing pole
magnesium fire starter
hatchet\ax
knifes
large water containers
anti biotics\ aspirin
Humvee. camo
 
apocalypse

Kidnap the 10 hottest women around and go out in style :D

Disaster- need some time to ponder.......
 
I an't bringing much. I've checked out your lists and will just follow you and steal your stuff, especially you Tobasco, you won't miss a couple of honeys, especially when they see what I'm packin'. I'm hitting the cosmetic counters at Dillard's and loading up. I ain't no fool. You guys will be "look girls, we've got guns, money, food" and they'll be "yeah, but CC has all the makeup".
 
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Tactical Tomahawk.
Tent.
Fishing pole.
Sabre.
Rope.
Water filter.
Fire starter.
Binoculars.
Shovel.
Bow.
 
Tactical Tomahawk.
Tent.
Fishing pole.
Sabre.
Rope.
Water filter.
Fire starter.
Binoculars.
Shovel.
Bow.
CouchCoach
You had room so I added one because you look like a good provider. Besides, you'll need someone to operate that shovel and I can shovel it as well as anyone here. Just remember to put "Use This End" on it cuz I ain't a toolman. And put "Look in This End" on those binoculars.
 
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You had room so I added one because you look like a good provider. Besides, you'll need someone to operate that shovel and I can shovel it as well as anyone here. Just remember to put "Use This End" on it cuz I ain't a toolman. And put "Look in This End" on those binoculars.
"Why do they look so far away?"
 

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