What did everyone expect? He's "extremely impressed". What did you think he was going to say?
.....What do I think of Dak Prescott?....He's terrible!.....No wonder this team wasn't going anywhere!......Of course, he's our quarterback.... because Jerry knows best......yep.....Jerry..... knows...... BEST!!!........Lord, what did I get myself into? I had Bret freekin' Favre. I had Aaron Rodgers. Is this how you even things out? Is it?....with Zack....Jack......Dak.......Aw, who gives a "_______"! .
What's that?.......Am I going to feed Zeke?....Have you seen Zeke? He looks like I'm the only one is this God forsaken state that HASN'T been feeding him! Stop feeding Zeke!
Yeah, the receivers are great ...Just wonderful.... I'm extremely impressed with their professionalism, especially in the way they've all approached me privately and suggested they be the #1 target because the other two are SO selfish!...... I came back for this? .....to be a damm babysitter to a bunch of little "_____"?
But hey! It's not like I can do anything about it....we'll just have to hope that Jerry's....uh, my....young genius, who knows absolutely everything even though he hasn't reached puberty yet, offensive coordinator figures it all out!
Defensively....defensively..... how the "____" should I know?.... What am I , Wade Phillips? I have an actual defensive coordinator......when he's sober....He was a good man before he started drinking.....last month.
Okay, everybody, thanks so much for allowing me to talk football for five minutes.....I'm sure you guys just can't wait to waste my time yapping about all the world's krap problems and how I intend to deal with them.....You're all just looking for that little slip up, aren't you?....You know what I'm talking about! That one little sentence I utter that becomes your next sport headline and screws up my life...aren't you!!!
Why, Mike.....WHY!!??....Why did you do this to yourself?....There I was, enjoying my retirement....fishing....hunting.....Netflix....I had it all!!!....But, no.......Jerry calls.....and now I just have to make history!!!.....History?....More like career suicide!...What an idiot I am!
Sorry....was there any more questions......Does anybody have a sedative?