Chuck Norris roots for the boys...

[Signals]

Chuck Norris has been offered a job as one of Mike Huckabee's top secret service agents when "The Huck" becomes President of the United States.

Thats how bad to the bone Chuck is.

 

[Gangsta Spanksta]

[FONT=Garamond, Times New Roman, Times] Chuck Norris has been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life on the planet.

There is a picture of this:

[/FONT]

 

[Gangsta Spanksta]

Chuck Norris refuses to get paid for saving the world.

First, he single handedly took out Osama.

Before flying over to Australia to save the continent from Kangaroo overpopulation.

Of course, all this saving the world does get you hungry.

 

[trickblue]

Chuck Norris doesn't "tea bag" his buddies when they're drunk... he "bowling ball bag's" them...

Chuck Norris once met Danny Snyder. He didn't kick his arse, but he made him sterile with his laser eyes as he felt we had enough morons in the world... For good measure he then round-house kicked him in the nads... he figured why chance it. Those nads are now in orbit around the earth...

 

[Gangsta Spanksta]

 

[ABQCOWBOY]

It is a little known fact that when Chuck Norris was born, the term
'Lessor God's" was first coined.

 

[PBJTime]

Chuck Norris counted to infinity....twice.

 

[Gooch]

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

 

[adbutcher]

Chuck Norris killed a man for posting innacturate information about him on a forum and th....What are you doing in here....stay away from m

 

[LittleBoyBlue]

This thread is breaking me all up inside...

 

[MetalHead]

-Chuck Norris once went to Burger King and ordered a Big Mac,and got it.
-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer....too bad he has never cried.
-There is no such thing as Global warning...Chuck Norris was cold and he turned the sun up.
-It takes 20 minutes for Chuck Norris to watch 60 Minutes.
-Chuck Norris has two speeds...walk and kill.
-Chuck Norris is so fast he once ran around the world and punched himself in the back of the head.

 

[Gangsta Spanksta]

Chuck Norris was once asked to audition for Dances with the Star, to which he replied with a swift round house to Bruno's head.

 

[dlv6177]

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the **** he wants.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

When you open a can of whoop *** Chuck Norris jumps out.

Chuck Norris got his driver's license at the age of 16...seconds.

The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.

During The Salem Witch trials; people argued "Should witches be burned at the stake?" or "Subjected to a roundhouse kick to the face delivered by Chuck Norris." They chose the more "humane" route.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.