The Animal Football Conference (AFC)
1) Large Cats
Bengals
Lions
Jags
Panthers
2) 4-legged Land Animals
Bills
Colts
Broncos
Rams
3) Water-ish Animals
Dolphins
Bears
Seahawks
Browns (is it a dog? who knows)
4) Remaining Birds
Ravens
Eagles
Falcons
Cardinals
The Non-Animal Football Conference (NFC)
1) "Cowboy and Indian"-related People
Cowboys
Commanders
Texans
Chiefs
2) Blue-collar Workers
Steelers
Packers
49ers
Jets (pilots, I guess)
3) Revolutionary/Warrior-types
Patriots
Raiders
Vikings
Bucs
4) Mythical/Spiritual-types
Saints
Titans
Giants
Chargers (I think it's some kind of holy knight)