Funniest One Liner Quotes by Cowboys

[MS17]

What about Larry Cole after he went ten years without a fumble recovery or INT for a touchdown:

"Anyone can have an off-decade."

a lot of old dudes (like me) think this is the gold standard for Cowboys one-liners. Reporters laughed at this for years. Larry Cole and Pete Gent were Dallas poet laureates in those days.

 

[mcmvp]

“It’s our turn”

- Dak Prescott

 

[BotchedLobotomy]

"I don't have a definition for it, but you'll know it when you see it. It's kind of like a definition I heard one time of another issue trying to define a negative topic, and they said, 'I don't know how to say it, but it's just something that when you see it, you'll know it's there.' We'll see it." - Jerry Jones

 

[mrmojo]

"I'm in the best shape of my life"

 

[stuckindc]

How ‘bout them Cowboys?!?! - Jimmy

The Best!!!

 

[plasticman]

"Now look what you did Sam! You killed me!" - Don Meredith to a horrified Sam Huff. The Hall of Fame linebacker hit Meredith so hard his protective vest exploded. It was filled with a red liquid.

 

[jsb357]

“It’s our turn”

- Dak Prescott

 

[Diehardblues]

Mommas, let your babies grow up to be left tackles.
Gil Brandt

 

[Diehardblues]

When you want to win a game, you have to teach. When you lose a game, you have to learn.
Tom Landry

 

[Diehardblues]

Do you want to be safe and good, or do you want to take a chance and be great?
Jimmy Johnson

 

[Diehardblues]

Confidence doesn’t come out of nowhere. It’s a result of something… hours and days and weeks and years of constant work and dedication.
Roger Staubach

 

[Diehardblues]

If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we’d all have a Merry Christmas.
Don Meredith

 

[Hagman]

From a Texas Monthly article on Duane Thomas’s 1971 contract dispute and Tex Schramm’s classic comeback.

Duane called a press conference and described coach Tom Landry as “a plastic man, actually no man at all.” Gil Brandt was branded “a liar.” Duane put down club president Tex Schramm as a man who was “sick, demented and completely dishonest,” to which Schramm replied goodnaturedly, “That’s not bad. He got two out or three.”

 

[Diehardblues]

Dallas Cowboys may be America's team, but the Houston Oilers are Texas' team.

Bum Phillips

Note:
I’m not sure that was ever true. But Houston was at the height of their popularity when Earl Campbell was there. There were markets when given the choice for televised games in Earls tenure in Houston chose Oilers over Cowboys.

Being from Texas it was difficult not to get behind the Oilers when the Tyler Rose was there. With Bum and Earl they truly represented Texas well. And must see TV.

 

[Hagman]

I read the following Tom Landry story in an article about his career, for the life of me I can’t find it right now. To paraphrase:

At a press conference one of the reporters asked Tom, “coach what would you do if we reporters all died in a plane crash”

Tom responded “We’d stop practice for a moment of silence. And then resume with enthusiasm. “

 

[AmericasTeam81]

What’s the quote about the uncluttered mind?

 

[Diehardblues]

Football is to Texas what religion is to a priest. — Tom Landry

 

[jazzcat22]

surprised no one said yet

the asthma field is over there

 

[jazzcat22]

Speaking of Walt Garrison, Meredith famously described the slow but tough RB this way, “If it was third down, and you needed four yards, Walt would get you five. And if it was third down and you needed twenty yards, by God, Walt would get you five.”

I always heard, and read it a few places as Walt said ... I remember him saying that himself at one time. I think I have a clip of it on VHS boxed away.
If you need 3 yards I will get you 3 yards, if you need 5 yards, I will get you 3 yards.

So I looked it up.
You are correct, but it was Don Meredith that said that what you posted, also he said ...

• Don Meredith: "If you needed four yards, you'd give the ball to Walt Garrison and he'd get you four yards. If you needed 20 yards, you'd give the ball to Walt Garrison and he'd get you four yards."

 

[jazzcat22]

I think I recall when Roger the Dodger was being compared to Broadway Joe on his squeaky clean image and Joe’s bachelor lifestyle, he said “ I enjoy sex as much as Joe Namath, only I do it with one girl.”

That was on an interview with Jane Kennedy I believe.