Grief...

[Bigdog]

Well, this is probably an appropriate place for this. I just came by the Zone to divert my attention but...

I just got word that my mother has passed away about an hour ago. I will tell you this, when my dad died, it was tough on me and I had intense grief for an extended period of time. We were very close. But as time went on it got easier and eventually it wasn't grief any longer but gratefulness for the time we were together.

At this point I feel different with my mom. We were close as well but I am older and, to be honest and probably break a forum rule here, but I am much stronger in my faith now than then and know that my parents were both saved. That being said, it makes the passing of my mother much easier because I know where she is.

I think the grieving process is different for everyone, and every situation is different. What I know you went through I have not experienced so I can't say what you should do in the natural world to get over it. But if you want to trade some PMs, let me know. I will be heading out for Louisiana in the morning to make arrangements and for the service but when I get bck you are more than welcome to PM me.

In the mean time, I will pray for you in this process.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. I am sorry for your loss.

 

[iceberg]

Well, this is probably an appropriate place for this. I just came by the Zone to divert my attention but...

I just got word that my mother has passed away about an hour ago. I will tell you this, when my dad died, it was tough on me and I had intense grief for an extended period of time. We were very close. But as time went on it got easier and eventually it wasn't grief any longer but gratefulness for the time we were together.

At this point I feel different with my mom. We were close as well but I am older and, to be honest and probably break a forum rule here, but I am much stronger in my faith now than then and know that my parents were both saved. That being said, it makes the passing of my mother much easier because I know where she is.

I think the grieving process is different for everyone, and every situation is different. What I know you went through I have not experienced so I can't say what you should do in the natural world to get over it. But if you want to trade some PMs, let me know. I will be heading out for Louisiana in the morning to make arrangements and for the service but when I get bck you are more than welcome to PM me.

In the mean time, I will pray for you in this process.

i got your back man.

always.

 

[CowboyMcCoy]

I am sorry to hear about your loss of your daughter. I am not going to tell you how you should feel because everyone takes death differently. I do know a little of what you are going through because I loss my daughter 8 years ago. I tried not to dwell on it and look at what God gave me and my wife in my twin daughters. I will never forget the daughter that I loss and she will always be in my heart as your daughter is in your heart. Like Hos said please don't resort to drugs or alcohol because that just compromise the pain even more. As far as the psychiatrist telling you he has never loss a child and gave you your money back was an ethical and professional thing to do. If he is not competent in the subjuect mattter than he should not treat you but there are other professionals out there who may help you as well as support groups. I will always be here to support you and my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. Keep your chin up.

Thanks. A lot. Seriously.

 

[silverbear]

i can't tell you how to feel.

only stand beside you while you do it.

Lots of us are shoulder to shoulder in solidarity with our good members who have suffered such devastating losses... if you can draw strength from us, don't hesitate to do so...

The most important thing our friends can do in times like these is let you know you're not alone...

You're not alone, Cowboy McCoy...

You're not alone, Zaxor...

You're not alone, cajuncowboy...

We'll help you get through this... swear to God, we will...

 

[Sarge]

That is a load I cannot imagine. I am truly sorry, my friend.

I have had to deal with the loss of my parents and many friends over my lifetime but losing my own daughter is something I don't think I could ever really get over. I love her so much it hurts to be apart from her but she has her own life to live.

I lost the best friend of my life 19 years ago and I still feel a sweet sadness when I think about him and all the good times we had and the only thing that brings me any comfort is that he still lives on threough his children and that he no longer suffers but I will always miss him.

Death is as much a part of life as birth and just as inescapable. As long as someone thinks about us and misses us some part of us still lives.

In the long run we must all go home however we get there and our own lives don't matter as much as how we affected others while we lived and made them love us and made their lives better for our having been here. If we have lived well the pain of loss never goes away for those we leave behind but it does diminsh a little over time if we are able to love others and make their lives better for our having lived.

The older we get the more we become aware of our own mortality and the more we work on doing things for others so that we, too, are missed when we go back home. This is what drives me to use what I have learned to help relieve others' suffering so that someone will miss me and be glad I lived and made their lives better when it is my turn to go.

Some die and are never missed because they never positively affected the lives of others. Your suffering is a tribute to your daughter but in time you must help others, too, so that others will miss you and be glad that you made their lives better, at least that's the way I look at it.

If physicists are right, bodies die and are transformed into other matter and energy over the fullness of time but spirits never die because they are already energy and simply transform into other energy over time. Her spirit is still alive, you just can't see it but you can still feel her love for you and your love for her. She is now part of the underlying bed of energy of which all things in the universe are comprised. She is not only still in your heart but she is everywhere and always will be and that is a good thing because it is what life really is all about.

It is what makes doing things for others truly gratifying.

In my view, it is the way of things.

Your life is better for her having been here. What would it have been like if she had never existed? Surely less fulfulling not only for you but for all the others who found joy in her. In time perhaps your joy at her having come into your life and made it better will replace your sadness at seeing her go. I sincerely hope so.

I wish very good luck to you and yours, love them while you can for we are all transients here and hopefully we leave the place better for our having sojourned through here on our way back where we came from.

:worthy:

 

[Hostile]

I don't know if it apply's here but I just watched a great movie and line in it got me thinking about some of my own issue's lately.

Guy in the movie lost his young daughter and after many weeks he visited with his pastor who asked him, "Do you want to live angry for the time you did not get with her or be thankful and cherish the time you did have"?

For me, it really brought things into prospective.

That is from "Courageous" and it is the best movie I have seen in the last year. The Snake Kings scene killed me.

 

[CowboyMcCoy]

Lots of us are shoulder to shoulder in solidarity with our good members who have suffered such devastating losses... if you can draw strength from us, don't hesitate to do so...

The most important thing our friends can do in times like these is let you know you're not alone...

You're not alone, Cowboy McCoy...

You're not alone, Zaxor...

You're not alone, cajuncowboy...

We'll help you get through this... swear to God, we will...

Thanks, Silverbear. Like Ice said, sometimes you just stand there. I've gotten good at doing it for other people.

 

[CowboyMcCoy]

I don't know if it apply's here but I just watched a great movie and line in it got me thinking about some of my own issue's lately.

Guy in the movie lost his young daughter and after many weeks he visited with his pastor who asked him, "Do you want to live angry for the time you did not get with her or be thankful and cherish the time you did have"?

For me, it really brought things into prospective.

Thanks, SDogo. That makes a lot of sense.

 

[cajuncocoa]

I just got word that my mother has passed away about an hour ago.

I apologize for not saying something to you last night...I honestly just noticed this. I'm so sorry for your loss, Cajuncowboy, and will keep you in my prayers.

 

[ShiningStar]

Big grief Big friends guess this forum stands by you CM. When we go down, theres no shame in asking for help and look whats come. Proud of this board every day.

 

[CowboyMcCoy]

I apologize for not saying something to you last night...I honestly just noticed this. I'm so sorry for your loss, Cajuncowboy, and will keep you in my prayers.

My heart goes out to my friend. It really does. I can't imagine that either, because it has never happened to me.

Big grief Big friends guess this forum stands by you CM. When we go down, theres no shame in asking for help and look whats come. Proud of this board every day.

Exactly. I've found more help from the people on this board regarding this issue than anywhere else. Yeah, some probably don't like the topic. But where might they go when it hits them, personally?

I appreciate this place letting me share. Even more so, I appreciate the people's support--most people I've never met in person.

 

[iceberg]

Well, this is probably an appropriate place for this. I just came by the Zone to divert my attention but...

I just got word that my mother has passed away about an hour ago. I will tell you this, when my dad died, it was tough on me and I had intense grief for an extended period of time. We were very close. But as time went on it got easier and eventually it wasn't grief any longer but gratefulness for the time we were together.

At this point I feel different with my mom. We were close as well but I am older and, to be honest and probably break a forum rule here, but I am much stronger in my faith now than then and know that my parents were both saved. That being said, it makes the passing of my mother much easier because I know where she is.

I think the grieving process is different for everyone, and every situation is different. What I know you went through I have not experienced so I can't say what you should do in the natural world to get over it. But if you want to trade some PMs, let me know. I will be heading out for Louisiana in the morning to make arrangements and for the service but when I get bck you are more than welcome to PM me.

In the mean time, I will pray for you in this process.

cajun - i'm so sorry for your loss and my prayers go with you also in this time.

 

[zrinkill]

Well, this is probably an appropriate place for this. I just came by the Zone to divert my attention but...

I just got word that my mother has passed away about an hour ago. I will tell you this, when my dad died, it was tough on me and I had intense grief for an extended period of time. We were very close. But as time went on it got easier and eventually it wasn't grief any longer but gratefulness for the time we were together.

At this point I feel different with my mom. We were close as well but I am older and, to be honest and probably break a forum rule here, but I am much stronger in my faith now than then and know that my parents were both saved. That being said, it makes the passing of my mother much easier because I know where she is.

I think the grieving process is different for everyone, and every situation is different. What I know you went through I have not experienced so I can't say what you should do in the natural world to get over it. But if you want to trade some PMs, let me know. I will be heading out for Louisiana in the morning to make arrangements and for the service but when I get bck you are more than welcome to PM me.

In the mean time, I will pray for you in this process.

All my prayers buddy.

 

[kristie]

Well, this is probably an appropriate place for this. I just came by the Zone to divert my attention but...

I just got word that my mother has passed away about an hour ago. I will tell you this, when my dad died, it was tough on me and I had intense grief for an extended period of time. We were very close. But as time went on it got easier and eventually it wasn't grief any longer but gratefulness for the time we were together.

At this point I feel different with my mom. We were close as well but I am older and, to be honest and probably break a forum rule here, but I am much stronger in my faith now than then and know that my parents were both saved. That being said, it makes the passing of my mother much easier because I know where she is.

I think the grieving process is different for everyone, and every situation is different. What I know you went through I have not experienced so I can't say what you should do in the natural world to get over it. But if you want to trade some PMs, let me know. I will be heading out for Louisiana in the morning to make arrangements and for the service but when I get bck you are more than welcome to PM me.

In the mean time, I will pray for you in this process.

omg i am so sorry.

 

[trickblue]

Well, this is probably an appropriate place for this. I just came by the Zone to divert my attention but...

I just got word that my mother has passed away about an hour ago. I will tell you this, when my dad died, it was tough on me and I had intense grief for an extended period of time. We were very close. But as time went on it got easier and eventually it wasn't grief any longer but gratefulness for the time we were together.

At this point I feel different with my mom. We were close as well but I am older and, to be honest and probably break a forum rule here, but I am much stronger in my faith now than then and know that my parents were both saved. That being said, it makes the passing of my mother much easier because I know where she is.

I think the grieving process is different for everyone, and every situation is different. What I know you went through I have not experienced so I can't say what you should do in the natural world to get over it. But if you want to trade some PMs, let me know. I will be heading out for Louisiana in the morning to make arrangements and for the service but when I get bck you are more than welcome to PM me.

In the mean time, I will pray for you in this process.

Sorry to hear this, buddy...

We'll keep your family in our prayers...

 

[1fisher]

Courageous.........great Christian film with some real good life lessons for everyone.

 

[Cajuncowboy]

Hey everyone. Just wanted to say thank you for the well wishes both here and in the PMs. I really needed some of those encouraging words. We buried my mom's body today but I know she wasn't there. She was where she always knew she would be. And it was beautiful here in Louisiana, just like she had said she wanted. She always said she didn't want it to be all rainy and windy 'cause she didn't want her hair to get messed up. LOL!

Anyway, thanks again.

Cajun

 

[Cowboys&LakersFan]

Hey everyone. Just wanted to say thank you for the well wishes both here and in the PMs. I really needed some of those encouraging words. We buried my mom's body today but I know she wasn't there. She was where she always knew she would be. And it was beautiful here in Louisiana, just like she had said she wanted. She always said she didn't want it to be all rainy and windy 'cause she didn't want her hair to get messed up. LOL!

Anyway, thanks again.

Cajun

Oh sorry I didn't respond, but really sorry for your loss man. Condolences to you and your family.

 

[silverbear]

My heart goes out to my friend. It really does. I can't imagine that either, because it has never happened to me.




Exactly. I've found more help from the people on this board regarding this issue than anywhere else. Yeah, some probably don't like the topic. But where might they go when it hits them, personally?

I appreciate this place letting me share. Even more so, I appreciate the people's support--most people I've never met in person.

I'll tell you a little story that illustrates the sense of community found in these forums; when my Mom passed away, I was most active in the old Cowboys' newsgroup... the day of the funeral, I'm walking down the rows of flowers, when I spot this big arrangement, "signed" by about a dozen of the newsgroup's regulars... I'm standing there, getting just a little teary-eyed at their kindness, when I get a tap on my shoulder... I turn around, and there stands one of the group's members, a good guy name of Fred Goodwin (who has IIRC also posted in here)... I'd met him once in real life, but he cared enough to take time off of work and drive two hours to give me some support...

You don't know it when you join a group like this, but you become a part of a community... maybe it's not too extreme to say you become part of a family... a dysfunctional, borderline insane family, but a family nonetheless...

Anyway, my "family" supported me back then, when I really needed it (I still have the card from those flowers in my desk drawer), so I always welcome the chance to return the favor to my friends on this board who are hurting...

 

[LeonDixson]

I can only add two things. First God's promise is not that we will never feel pain; only that He will not give us more than we can handle. Therefore, God has faith in you.

Secondly, ditto to what silverbear said below to you, Zax and Cajun. Hopefully there is some comfort in knowing we all care about you.

Lots of us are shoulder to shoulder in solidarity with our good members who have suffered such devastating losses... if you can draw strength from us, don't hesitate to do so...

The most important thing our friends can do in times like these is let you know you're not alone...

You're not alone, Cowboy McCoy...

You're not alone, Zaxor...

You're not alone, cajuncowboy...

We'll help you get through this... swear to God, we will...