Guy who used Facebook to reprimand his daughter Q & A

[vta]

For those that wondered, commented, criticized, and just in general wanted to know:
My daughter came through it fine.

Yes, she's in trouble, and yes she's grounded, but that doesn't mean every moment of her life has to be miserable. She's going to come to terms with the changes that will be present for a while; no TV privileges, no Internet, etc.

Q: Why did y...ou decide to reprimand your daughter over a public medium like YouTube?

A: Well, I actually just had to load the video file itself on YouTube because it’s a better upload process than Facebook, but the intended audience was her Facebook friends and the parents of those friends who saw her post and would naturally assume we let our children get away with something like that. So, to answer “Why did you reprimand her over a public medium like Facebook” my answer is this: Because that’s how I was raised. If I did something embarrassing to my parents in public (such as a grocery store) I got my tail tore up right there in front of God and everyone, right there in the store. I put the reprisal in exactly the same medium she did, in the exact same manner. Her post went out to about 452 people. Mine went out to about 550 people… originally. I had no idea it would become what it did.

Q: How effective do you think your punishment was (i.e. shooting her laptop and reading her letter online)?

A: I think it was very effective on one front. She apparently didn’t remember being talked to about previous incidents, nor did she seem to remember the effects of having it taken away, nor did the eventual long-term grounding seem to get through to her. I think she thought “Well, I’ll just wait it out and I’ll get it back eventually.” Her behavior corrected for a short time, and then it went back to what it was before and worse. This time, she won’t ever forget and it’ll be a long time before she has an opportunity to post on Facebook again. I feel pretty certain that every day from then to now, whenever one of her friends mentions Facebook, she’ll remember it and wish she hadn’t done what she did.

Link

 

[Hoofbite]

Haha. He has some decent remarks about no being willing to use the publicity to profit. I think that's a pretty stand up thing to do but this part just kills me.

I think it was very effective on one front.

She apparently didn’t remember being talked to about previous incidents, nor did she seem to remember the effects of having it taken away, nor did the eventual long-term grounding seem to get through to her.

So it didn't work before, might as well give it another go only this time longer and more punitive.

I think she thought “Well, I’ll just wait it out and I’ll get it back eventually.” Her behavior corrected for a short time, and then it went back to what it was before and worse. This time, she won’t ever forget and it’ll be a long time before she has an opportunity to post on Facebook again. I feel pretty certain that every day from then to now, whenever one of her friends mentions Facebook, she’ll remember it and wish she hadn’t done what she did.

About as long as it takes to find a public computer or go to the library at lunch at school.

He seems like a well-intentioned person with some pretty reasonable and respectable qualities but that doesn't make his actions any less unreasonable.

Trying to teach her the value of a dollar by destroying something you recently put money into probably isn't going to really prove a point. I think it was Brain who suggested he donate the thing and I would have to agree, that would have been a better route to go.

 

[bbgun]

 

[RoyTheHammer]

:laugh2:


Not a bad comparison.

 

[ologan]

I'd of used a 12 gauge.

 

[Phrozen Phil]

I don't doubt his intentions, but I don't agree with his methods. It appears that there was already a wall between him and his daughter. He may have just built another layer. Here's hoping they can move beyond this.

 

[Cajuncowboy]

It's a shame he felt he had to explain himself to anyone. He did what he thought was right and I think that is the way any parent should parent. As long as you are not abusing or hurting your child then so be it. Only you know what gets through to your kid. Not some no name anonymous faces on FB or the internet. Frankly, they have no right to judge him since no harm was done or threatened to the child.

 

[vta]

It's a shame he felt he had to explain himself to anyone. He did what he thought was right and I think that is the way any parent should parent. As long as you are not abusing or hurting your child then so be it. Only you know what gets through to your kid. Not some no name anonymous faces on FB or the internet. Frankly, they have no right to judge him since no harm was done or threatened to the child.

I don't think of it that way. He seems fine with talking about it and clarifying some things. It shed light on a lot of things, including the level of overreaction some would go to in thinking how damaged this kid would be over it. What he did was probably not so alien to her, being familiar with her own fathers character.

 

[TheCount]

I don't doubt his intentions, but I don't agree with his methods. It appears that there was already a wall between him and his daughter. He may have just built another layer. Here's hoping they can move beyond this.

I got the idea he and his daughter are actually on pretty good terms. I dont see the walls you're talking about.

She's young and made the mistake of confusing chores with slavery. :laugh2

 

[RoyTheHammer]

It's a shame he felt he had to explain himself to anyone. He did what he thought was right and I think that is the way any parent should parent. As long as you are not abusing or hurting your child then so be it. Only you know what gets through to your kid. Not some no name anonymous faces on FB or the internet. Frankly, they have no right to judge him since no harm was done or threatened to the child.

He said, "Maybe some of you other parents will get the idea and put a boot up your own kid's arse."

He said this in a video where he thought it was appropriate and civil to bring a gun out in his yard and shoot a friggin laptop.

You can tell me for sure that kid isn't being abused? Bull.. the guy is a moron.

 

[Cajuncowboy]

He said, "Maybe some of you other parents will get the idea and put a boot up your own kid's arse."

He said this in a video where he thought it was appropriate and civil to bring a gun out in his yard and shoot a friggin laptop.

You can tell me for sure that kid isn't being abused? Bull.. the guy is a moron.

LOL!

And from that you can tell me for sure the kid IS being abused? Bull..

Who are you? Miss Cleo?

Some people.

SMH

 

[tupperware]

It's easy to sit back and throw rocks if you don't have kids of your own and know how trying it can be. Sometimes the way to get the point across is the most extreme way and sometimes it doesn't get the point across. That's part of what being a parent is all about. There aren't books that can solve every parenting problem and there aren't sure fire ways to go about it.

Sometimes you do what you think is right and it blows up in your face, it happens. It's easy to sit back and play Dr. Phil like you know better, when you don't even know the whole situation.

 

[RoyTheHammer]

LOL!

And from that you can tell me for sure the kid IS being abused? Bull..

Who are you? Miss Cleo?

Some people.

SMH

I didn't suggest she was at all.. i simply said you can't sit there and tell me he's not, for the same reasons.

Certainly, using a gun for such a petty purpose and talking about how he puts a boot up his kid's arse are indications of his personality though. Doesn't seem like the most rational person ever, does he?

 

[WoodysGirl]

It's easy to sit back and throw rocks if you don't have kids of your own and know how trying it can be. Sometimes the way to get the point across is the most extreme way and sometimes it doesn't get the point across. That's part of what being a parent is all about. There aren't books that can solve every parenting problem and there aren't sure fire ways to go about it.

Sometimes you do what you think is right and it blows up in your face, it happens. It's easy to sit back and play Dr. Phil like you know better, when you don't even know the whole situation.

My Dad tells me that all the time...and I completely agree.

And considering I'm the oldest and have personally experienced his alternative disciplinary methods and seen how he's handled all of his kids discipline, I can safely say that we're as normal as can be. except for my little brother who hates the Cowboys. That's just unnatural.

 

[RoyTheHammer]

It's easy to sit back and throw rocks if you don't have kids of your own and know how trying it can be. Sometimes the way to get the point across is the most extreme way and sometimes it doesn't get the point across. That's part of what being a parent is all about. There aren't books that can solve every parenting problem and there aren't sure fire ways to go about it.

Sometimes you do what you think is right and it blows up in your face, it happens. It's easy to sit back and play Dr. Phil like you know better, when you don't even know the whole situation.

How would the video he made solve anything?

 

[tupperware]

I didn't suggest she was at all.. i simply said you can't sit there and tell me he's not, for the same reasons.

Certainly, using a gun for such a petty purpose and talking about how he puts a boot up his kid's arse are indications of his personality though. Doesn't seem like the most rational person ever, does he?

Not for us to say as I know from first hand experience how my own kids have taken me out of my "square" so to speak and I've said or done things that in retrospect, looked kind of crazy. Some of those things I did because I was at my wits end and thought I had tried every other route (Yes, even including the ol' sit down and talk to them routine).

You're never proud about it when you look back, because you think of how crazy or irrational you may of looked to your kids, but let me tell you one thing. I'd far rather have that parent going to "crazy" lengths in an effort to protect his own daughter rather than abandoning her with someone else or getting wasted and really not caring a bit about what she does in life.

 

[tupperware]

How would the video he made solve anything?

That's the whole point, it's not guaranteed to solve a single thing. There are no guarantees when you parent.

 

[RoyTheHammer]

That's the whole point, it's not guaranteed to solve a single thing. There are no guarantees when you parent.

Im aware, but its just an awful idea. I mean honestly, there was really no point to making the video at all, as he even said she was probably never going to see it anyway. If he wanted to get through to his daughter, talking to her is the best way to do that. You need to have some kind of connection with your kids. And some of the "chores" he talked about were a bit ridiculous. I'd like to see a list of the chores he and his wife do every night compared to the girl. Seems like she pretty much does all the cleaning around the house.. well, whatever isn't done by their cleaning lady that is. Getting them coffee on request and maintaining their garden for them is a bit much, as well.

Also, the fact that he's ok having a cleaning lady, but doesn't like to refer to her as one was pretty amusing as well.

 

[Cajuncowboy]

I didn't suggest she was at all.. i simply said you can't sit there and tell me he's not, for the same reasons.

Certainly, using a gun for such a petty purpose and talking about how he puts a boot up his kid's arse are indications of his personality though. Doesn't seem like the most rational person ever, does he?

Sure you did. You brought up the abuse issue and no one even insinuated she was abused. That's all on you buddy.

And he has a right to do whatever he wants with his gun as long as it doesn't hurt anyone or use on something that isn't his. In addition and if have never heard the expression a "Boot up the arse" before then get out from under the rock in which you live.

 

[Cajuncowboy]

Im aware, but its just an awful idea. I mean honestly, there was really no point to making the video at all, as he even said she was probably never going to see it anyway. If he wanted to get through to his daughter, talking to her is the best way to do that. You need to have some kind of connection with your kids. And some of the "chores" he talked about were a bit ridiculous. I'd like to see a list of the chores he and his wife do every night compared to the girl. Seems like she pretty much does all the cleaning around the house.. well, whatever isn't done by their cleaning lady that is. Getting them coffee on request and maintaining their garden for them is a bit much, as well.

Also, the fact that he's ok having a cleaning lady, but doesn't like to refer to her as one was pretty amusing as well.

What chores were ridiculous? I can't wait to hear this one.

EDIT: I see you were talking about helping with the garden and getting them a cup of coffee when they asked. Oh my GOD! Call child services. LOL!!!!