Guy who used Facebook to reprimand his daughter Q & A

[tupperware]

Im aware, but its just an awful idea. I mean honestly, there was really no point to making the video at all, as he even said she was probably never going to see it anyway. If he wanted to get through to his daughter, talking to her is the best way to do that. You need to have some kind of connection with your kids. And some of the "chores" he talked about were a bit ridiculous. I'd like to see a list of the chores he and his wife do every night compared to the girl. Seems like she pretty much does all the cleaning around the house.. well, whatever isn't done by their cleaning lady that is. Getting them coffee on request and maintaining their garden for them is a bit much, as well.

Also, the fact that he's ok having a cleaning lady, but doesn't like to refer to her as one was pretty amusing as well.

I'm not saying the guy is perfect, just that there aren't always ways to justify what you do as a parent. The guy could be a total jerk or he could be a great guy. I really don't know. I'm just pointing out that there is no such thing as perfect parenting.

 

[Phrozen Phil]

I got the idea he and his daughter are actually on pretty good terms. I dont see the walls you're talking about.

She's young and made the mistake of confusing chores with slavery. :laugh2

I've never been a fan of of dealing with personal problems like this through social media. I know very little about the family, other than what's gone "viral", so it's difficult to know what's real. I've seen parents publicly humiliate their kids to "prove a point" and it often ends up in a power struggle. Those don't usually go well with teens.

As for the "slavery" part, it was part of my family routine when I was raising my kids. As my kids are grown, the only slave left at my house is me.

 

[RoyTheHammer]

Sure you did. You brought up the abuse issue and no one even insinuated she was abused. That's all on you buddy.

And he has a right to do whatever he wants with his gun as long as it doesn't hurt anyone or use on something that isn't his. In addition and if have never heard the expression a "Boot up the arse" before then get out from under the rock in which you live.

Actually, the only reason i posted about the abuse was because you brought up that no harm was done to the child or that she wasn't threatened.

Just because he has a "right" to do things with his gun doesn't make it rational to put 8 bullets in a laptop computer.

I have heard the term "boot up the arse" many times.. what do you think it insinuates when he uses it talking about his child?

That he doesn't ever use force to punish her and likes to talk everything out in a civil, reasonable discussion?

Please..

 

[RoyTheHammer]

I'm not saying the guy is perfect, just that there aren't always ways to justify what you do as a parent. The guy could be a total jerk or he could be a great guy. I really don't know. I'm just pointing out that there is no such thing as perfect parenting.

Well i certainly agree with that.. just was saying that there are plenty of things that would seem to make alot more sense than what he decided to do here.

 

[Cajuncowboy]

Actually, the only reason i posted about the abuse was because you brought up that no harm was done to the child or that she wasn't threatened.

Just because he has a "right" to do things with his gun doesn't make it rational to put 8 bullets in a laptop computer.

I have heard the term "boot up the arse" many times.. what do you think it insinuates when he uses it talking about his child?

That he doesn't ever use force to punish her and likes to talk everything out in a civil, reasonable discussion?

Please..

Okay. You didn't mention abuse first.

The term means putting someone in their place. And I think he did that with his kid. And from the sounds of the post she made, she sure doesn't sound like the kind of kid that responds well to a civil and reasonable discussion. It sounds like she needed a boot up her arse. And she got it. Stop living in a fairy tale world where unicorns eat skittles and crap rainbows.

 

[RoyTheHammer]

Okay. You didn't mention abuse first.

The term means putting someone in their place. And I think he did that with his kid. And from the sounds of the post she made, she sure doesn't sound like the kind of kid that responds well to a civil and reasonable discussion. It sounds like she needed a boot up her arse. And she got it. Stop living in a fairy tale world where unicorns eat skittles and crap rainbows.

K bud. Yeehaw.

 

[tupperware]

Well i certainly agree with that.. just was saying that there are plenty of things that would seem to make alot more sense than what he decided to do here.

It's possible, but who knows how many things have been tried already.

 

[Cajuncowboy]

K bud. Yeehaw.

Watch the unicorn droppings.

 

[RoyTheHammer]

It's possible, but who knows how many things have been tried already.

Social media is never the answer. haha

This is just another example of why facebook should have been kept as it was originally intended.. just for college kids.

 

[VietCowboy]

Although I do not agree with what the father did, I do think he is in his right to follow through with previous threats of punishment (that's what good parenting/teaching is about, if you don't follow through, your child will never take you seriously).

As for the chores, not sure if the list was exhaustive of all her chores, but even the gardening seems reasonable. When you are at that age (13+), parents should encourage a lot more responsibility and independence. Remember this picture from the other thread, very applicable:

 

[Cajuncowboy]

Although I do not agree with what the father did, I do think he is in his right to follow through with previous threats of punishment (that's what good parenting/teaching is about, if you don't follow through, your child will never take you seriously).

As for the chores, not sure if the list was exhaustive of all her chores, but even the gardening seems reasonable. When you are at that age (13+), parents should encourage a lot more responsibility and independence. Remember this picture from the other thread, very applicable:

+1....

 

[iceberg]

I don't doubt his intentions, but I don't agree with his methods. It appears that there was already a wall between him and his daughter. He may have just built another layer. Here's hoping they can move beyond this.

did you actually read the article and her own responses?

people get all twisted up about the strangest things and then push them to some extreme outcome w/o even bothering to listen to those they're judging.

 

[Phrozen Phil]

did you actually read the article and her own responses?

people get all twisted up about the strangest things and then push them to some extreme outcome w/o even bothering to listen to those they're judging.

I did. My point is that putting your family issues in the public eye may not be the most effective way to deal with a challenging problem. I'm not without some sympathy for the guy. I just disagree with the strategy he used.

 

[Cajuncowboy]

I wanted to do this last night but didn't have the chance to. So today I had the chance to talk to my 15 yo daughter. I simply told her I wanted her to watch a video and then tell me what she thought. I didn't say anything else, just to watch the video. After she did I asked her some questions.

I was kind of stunned at the first thing out of her mouth. She said "What kind of trouble has this kid been in for her dad to want to shoot her laptop. I asked her what she meant and she said she assumed she must have been a lot of trouble before to push her dad to this point. I said "Well, she did do this at least once in the past. She said there was probably more going on and this was just the last straw for him.

I then asked her what she thought of the punishment. At that point my daughter asked me if she needed to go hide her laptop. LOL! I said of course not. She said that if she had been told that this would happen if she did the same thing again, then it was her fault.

I asked her how she would feel if I did that to her and then posted it on her FB page for all her friends to see. She said she would be really mad at me and probably wouldn't talk to me for a while.

Then she told me that when she cooled off and calmed down, she would understand that she messed and she had to be corrected. And if she was in the kind of trouble that she thinks the daughter is in, later on she is sure she would appreciate that I wasn't trying to be her friend but wanted to be her father.

And then she told me something that blew me away. She said, I have lots of friends, but I need a dad. I will confess I popped a few buttons on my shirt when she said that.

Anyway, just wanted to at least give one 15 yo girls perspective to this.

 

[RoyTheHammer]

I wanted to do this last night but didn't have the chance to. So today I had the chance to talk to my 15 yo daughter. I simply told her I wanted her to watch a video and then tell me what she thought. I didn't say anything else, just to watch the video. After she did I asked her some questions.

I was kind of stunned at the first thing out of her mouth. She said "What kind of trouble has this kid been in for her dad to want to shoot her laptop. I asked her what she meant and she said she assumed she must have been a lot of trouble before to push her dad to this point. I said "Well, she did do this at least once in the past. She said there was probably more going on and this was just the last straw for him.

I then asked her what she thought of the punishment. At that point my daughter asked me if she needed to go hide her laptop. LOL! I said of course not. She said that if she had been told that this would happen if she did the same thing again, then it was her fault.

I asked her how she would feel if I did that to her and then posted it on her FB page for all her friends to see. She said she would be really mad at me and probably wouldn't talk to me for a while.

Then she told me that when she cooled off and calmed down, she would understand that she messed and she had to be corrected. And if she was in the kind of trouble that she thinks the daughter is in, later on she is sure she would appreciate that I wasn't trying to be her friend but wanted to be her father.

And then she told me something that blew me away. She said, I have lots of friends, but I need a dad. I will confess I popped a few buttons on my shirt when she said that.

Anyway, just wanted to at least give one 15 yo girls perspective to this.

Imagine that? You sat down, and had a nice, civil, reasonable discussion with your child.. and look how it turned out?

Who woulda thunk it?

Suprised your daughter said nothing about the gun being used though.. she thinks that woulda been a completely normal, rational response to her complaining about her parents?

 

[5Stars]

I did. My point is that putting your family issues in the public eye may not be the most effective way to deal with a challenging problem. I'm not without some sympathy for the guy. I just disagree with the strategy he used.

I guess you mean what the girl did first, right?

She is the one that put her family issues out to the public first. And, even though she is a child, per say, she shot the first bullet.




Back when men were men and sheep were scared, the times that I disrespect my dad or mom, I got my *** beat! She got off lucky.

 

[5Stars]

How would the video he made solve anything?

How would the post she made solve anything?

Maybe she should have went to her parents to talk about her frustrations first rather than posting on FB about what is bothering her?

Her post is what started this whole thing. She fired the first bullet, and I bet she has been firing more bullets than the eight real bullets that her dad shot.

She's lucky to be living in this time period where it's illegal to ***** slap your kid for things like she did because kids now days know they can't get their little *** whipped without going to jail.

 

[Cajuncowboy]

Imagine that? You sat down, and had a nice, civil, reasonable discussion with your child.. and look how it turned out?

Who woulda thunk it?

Suprised your daughter said nothing about the gun being used though.. she thinks that woulda been a completely normal, rational response to her complaining about her parents?

She had no problem with any of it. The gun was not a concern. Considering she knows how to shoot a wide variety of guns, I figure it wasn't something that she thought was out of place. And once again, you don't know if the father didn't already try to have that reasonable conversation with her THE LAST TIME SHE DID THE SAME THING.

Further, it was a good conversation because my kid wasn't involved. I get a laugh out of the pious individuals who all think because they watch an episode or two of Oprah and Dr. Phil they are the authority on parenting.

 

[RoyTheHammer]

How would the post she made solve anything?

Maybe she should have went to her parents to talk about her frustrations first rather than posting on FB about what is bothering her?

Her post is what started this whole thing. She fired the first bullet, and I bet she has been firing more bullets than the eight real bullets that her dad shot.

She's lucky to be living in this time period where it's illegal to ***** slap your kid for things like she did because kids now days know they can't get their little *** whipped without going to jail.

You do realize she's the child, right? She's not supposed to be the reasonable one. You say how would her rant on fb help anything like she's the parent. lol

Parent-child relationships aren't a war.

 

[RoyTheHammer]

She had no problem with any of it. The gun was not a concern. Considering she knows how to shoot a wide variety of guns, I figure it wasn't something that she thought was out of place. And once again, you don't know if the father didn't already try to have that reasonable conversation with her THE LAST TIME SHE DID THE SAME THING.

Further, it was a good conversation because my kid wasn't involved. I get a laugh out of the pious individuals who all think because they watch an episode or two of Oprah and Dr. Phil they are the authority on parenting.

You obviously think you are the authority on parenting.. your posts in this thread have been more hypocritical then discussion based.

I have a perspective on what i think of the dad based on what we know. Im not defending the girls actions.. just stating that the dad seems highly irrational and stupid with how he handled this.

Neither of us have the full story, so either of us thinking we know it all is dumb. We don't know how the dad has handled issues in the past, or how the girl has responded to different types of correction either.

But again, like i said.. you sat down with your daughter and had a nice, civil discussion with her and let her pose her own thoughts and opinions and you listened to her and gave your thoughts as well.. and look how that turned out?

Its not suprising.. the simple fact is most parents either are concerned more with being the big bad authority figure, or they don't want to take the time to have discussions and really listen to their children. Its sad and pathetic.