Humor: Top Ten Cowboys Xmas gifts available in ATT gift shop

[BoysForLife]

I would say a bottle of that Dak cologne but Joe Randle probably stole them all

 

[ArtClink]

A signed wobbly electric scooter by Terence Williams. Also comes with 83 shots of John Walker Blue

 

[MRV52]

What would this Holliday Season be without your own personalized Jason Garrett Clock? Yes, now you can tell time and manage your time just like Jason Garrett does. If you act now the first 1000 orders get's a complete set of Ginsu steak knives. Hurry don't wait!!!

 

[BoysForLife]

A Very Special Cowboys Christmas Album, including your favorites such as:

"Jerry, The Red Nosed Owner"

"Dak-A-Claus is Coming to Town" (He's throwing a pick, and fumbling twice, his fans are blaming the line, that's not very nice..... Dak A Claus is coming to Town!)

And a Special version of "Let it Snow" written and sung by Jerry Jones:

"Oh the Football inside is frightful,
And this Johnny's so delightful,
But my bottle is running low,
Man I blow, man I blow, man I blow!"

 

[Bobhaze]

1. The Jerry Jones Coffee Table Book of Unpatriotic Toupees
2. My First Sony Jerry Jones Toothbrush (toothpaste has a bad 22 year aftertaste)
3. Jerry's NFL GM Starter Kit - Includes $5 billion dollars, the Big Book of Nepotism, and Jerry's Guide to Performing Jerry Richardson's Tricks Without Losing the Franchise
4. How to Draft All Special Teams Players pamplet
5. G.I. Jerry Doll - Unpatriotic doll with tupee and unremoveable hat, pull string to hear hollow psuedo-patriotic phrases and chuckles about how the NFL charges our military to "honor" those who serve
6. The Jones Cartel Scrabble Board Game: Using the included 6 piece tiles, players can try to spell "Super Bowl"
7. Jerry Jones, Gene Simmons, & Wilt Chamberlains big book of strippers they've slept with

OMG! LOL!!!

 

[BleedinBlue]

a bottle of champagne labeled " # 1 In Revenue "
a bottle of snake oil labeled " Jerry's Best "

 

[pjtoadie]

A Very Special Cowboys Christmas Album, including your favorites such as:

"Jerry, The Red Nosed Owner"

"Dak-A-Claus is Coming to Town" (He's throwing a pick, and fumbling twice, his fans are blaming the line, that's not very nice..... Dak A Claus is coming to Town!)

And a Special version of "Let it Snow" written and sung by Jerry Jones:

"Oh the Football inside is frightful,
And this Johnny's so delightful,
But my bottle is running low,
Man I blow, man I blow, man I blow!"

Ok you win, omg that’s hilarious!!

 

[Ozone22]

The original Jimmy Johnson contract extension the day after going back to back.

 

[CF74]

Autographed toys from The Playmakers escapades.

Gift certificate to Pappadeaux for you and a hoe.

A bag of coke.

 

[SoBlue128]

An envelope labeled playoff tickets with crumbled pieces of coal inside

 

[ryanbabs]

1) Everett McIver Halloween mask, complete with scissors in the neck and fake blood.

2) TO crying doll that screams “that’s my quarterback” when you pull the string.

3) “Star Defender” video game, endorsed by George Teague.

 

[Joe Realist]

a 2019 first round draft pick...….oh wait.....

 

[Joe Realist]

a free trip the Cowboys star, at midfield, by opposing players

 

[Bobhaze]

1) Everett McIver Halloween mask, complete with scissors in the neck and fake blood.

2) TO crying doll that screams “that’s my quarterback” when you pull the string.

3) “Star Defender” video game, endorsed by George Teague.

McIvor reference, lol!

 

[Ranching]

We could use a pre-holiday laugh these days to offset the garbage we’ve seen on the field lately...how about the Top Ten Cowboys Xmas gift items you can buy at the gift shops in AT&T “stayjum”.

10. Replica hairpiece worn by Jason Witten in the Monday NF booth.
9. An AT&T Stayjum “snow globe” complete with sun glare on west end.
8. A pink #9 Cowboys jersey signed by Jessica Simpson.
7. A Jerry Jones replica doll with pull string voice that just says “uh, uh, uh”, uh”, uh”, uh”....
6. A toy sized Zeke replica inside a miniature Salvation Army red bucket.
5. A gift-wrapped interception signed by Dak Prescott.
4. An all expense paid trip to Cabo with Jason and Brie Garrett on a Thursday and Friday before the next home game.
3. A Spaulding wig.
2. Gene Jones Jeans- “for the more mature female fan”- available in the Victoria Secret stayjum store. (Credit to my brother Art Clink)
1. A Jones Family nativity scene. (Wise men not included!)

What else? LOL!

I already have my Jason Garrett Voodoo doll. Maybe I should take orders.

 

[Seven]

We could use a pre-holiday laugh these days to offset the garbage we’ve seen on the field lately...how about the Top Ten Cowboys Xmas gift items you can buy at the gift shops in AT&T “stayjum”.

10. Replica hairpiece worn by Jason Witten in the Monday NF booth.
9. An AT&T Stayjum “snow globe” complete with sun glare on west end.
8. A pink #9 Cowboys jersey signed by Jessica Simpson.
7. A Jerry Jones replica doll with pull string voice that just says “uh, uh, uh”, uh”, uh”, uh”....
6. A toy sized Zeke replica inside a miniature Salvation Army red bucket.
5. A gift-wrapped interception signed by Dak Prescott.
4. An all expense paid trip to Cabo with Jason and Brie Garrett on a Thursday and Friday before the next home game.
3. A Spaulding wig.
2. Gene Jones Jeans- “for the more mature female fan”- available in the Victoria Secret stayjum store. (Credit to my brother Art Clink)
1. A Jones Family nativity scene. (Wise men not included!)

What else? LOL!

Awesomeness.....number one..........

Great post, my man!!!

 

[Captain-Crash]

Jerry or Witten wig. Nerve pills for Dak. Buckethead hats from Zeke?

 

[Bob-Lillys-War]

Don't know what your talking about....

 

[Cowboysheelsreds053]

We could use a pre-holiday laugh these days to offset the garbage we’ve seen on the field lately...how about the Top Ten Cowboys Xmas gift items you can buy at the gift shops in AT&T “stayjum”.

10. Replica hairpiece worn by Jason Witten in the Monday NF booth.
9. An AT&T Stayjum “snow globe” complete with sun glare on west end.
8. A pink #9 Cowboys jersey signed by Jessica Simpson.
7. A Jerry Jones replica doll with pull string voice that just says “uh, uh, uh”, uh”, uh”, uh”....
6. A toy sized Zeke replica inside a miniature Salvation Army red bucket.
5. A gift-wrapped interception signed by Dak Prescott.
4. An all expense paid trip to Cabo with Jason and Brie Garrett on a Thursday and Friday before the next home game.
3. A Spaulding wig.
2. Gene Jones Jeans- “for the more mature female fan”- available in the Victoria Secret stayjum store. (Credit to my brother Art Clink)
1. A Jones Family nativity scene. (Wise men not included!)

What else? LOL!

Charlotte?

 

[Hardline]

A Jerry Jones autographed book entitled "How to turn an inferior product into four billion dollars"