I Would Like to Put My Hat in the Ring

[J817]

Jerry if you are seeing this, I would like to put my name as a potential replacement for the outgoing Jason Garrett (that’s of course If you do decide to let him go). As your reading my qualifications, please keep in mind I am not asking for a mega deal. A couple of thousand a year would be sufficient enough for me. I feel I can at least give you what the Garrett was able to provide you with a fraction cost.

Football Experience

1). I only played football in my senior year of high school (played inside linebacker), though I was offered a scholarship to Tarletan State University. I never understood I why I was offered a scholarship seeing that I was terrible at playing the sport of football (I think my coach was well connected or something). It’s the reason why I opted to take a baseball scholarship somewhere else instead. If you can’t play coach is how the saying goes so yea that could be a thing.
2). I have watched thousands of hours of NFL and college games. Like thousands. So yea
4). Been to numerous draft parties. Met Joe Avezzano once. Oh and I saw Flozell Adams and DeMarcus Ware at a Lowe’s (different occasions).
3). Played ALLOT of Madden when I was a kid. I haven’t played like in six years but if I was given a control I think muscle memory would allow to be a decent opponent.

Leadership

2). I don’t clap. I honestly can’t remember the last time I clapped for something. It’s odd, like idk where or when I could have been for me to clap for what I was watching in front me. I’m like thinking about it as I type this and I honestly can’t come up with something. Its strange
3). Ask every employee who has worked for me, every friend or girlfriend I have ever had, they will all tell you I am very impatient. This is a good thing for coach imo. Like I would have at least given Chaz Green help after watching the first drive in that Falcons game.
4). I don’t blame others for my own incompetence.
5). You will never hear me mention a process or “the process”.
6). I don’t believe in calling timeouts while your kicker is kicking a FG.

Please consider my qualifications. PM me when you are ready to schedule and interview thanks.

 

[MysteryIceGuro]

Are you a puppet with long strings? If not, your services are not needed.


Thank you,
Jerry Jones

 

[GORICO]

Jerry if you are seeing this, I would like to put my name as a potential replacement for the outgoing Jason Garrett (that’s of course If you do decide to let him go). As your reading my qualifications, please keep in mind I am not asking for a mega deal. A couple of thousand a year would be sufficient enough for me. I feel I can at least give you what the Garrett was able to provide you with a fraction cost.

Football Experience

1). I only played football in my senior year of high school (played inside linebacker), though I was offered a scholarship to Tarletan State University. I never understood I why I was offered a scholarship seeing that I was terrible at playing the sport of football (I think my coach was well connected or something). It’s the reason why I opted to take a baseball scholarship somewhere else instead. If you can’t play coach is how the saying goes so yea that could be a thing.
2). I have watched thousands of hours of NFL and college games. Like thousands. So yea
4). Been to numerous draft parties. Met Joe Avezzano once. Oh and I saw Flozell Adams and DeMarcus Ware at a Lowe’s (different occasions).
3). Played ALLOT of Madden when I was a kid. I haven’t played like in six years but if I was given a control I think muscle memory would allow to be a decent opponent.

Leadership

2). I don’t clap. I honestly can’t remember the last time I clapped for something. It’s odd, like idk where or when I could have been for me to clap for what I was watching in front me. I’m like thinking about it as I type this and I honestly can’t come up with something. Its strange
3). Ask every employee who has worked for me, every friend or girlfriend I have ever had, they will all tell you I am very impatient. This is a good thing for coach imo. Like I would have at least given Chaz Green help after watching the first drive that Falcons game.
4). I don’t blame others for my own incompetence.
5). You will never hear me mention a process or “the process”.
6). I don’t believe in calling timeouts while your kicker is kicking a FG.


Please consider my qualifications. PM me when you are ready to schedule and interview thanks.

J817--- You are hired

 

[SteveTheCowboy]

Why would you disqualify yourself by claiming you won't ever clap? Idiot.

 

[Flamma]

If Jerry announced J817 was the new head coach, that would be a lot better than what we're going to end up getting. More Jason. Wait a minute, your name isn't Jason, is it?

 

[J817]

If Jerry announced J817 was the new head coach, that would be a lot better than what we're going to end up getting. More Jason. Wait a minute, your name isn't Jason, is it?

It is

 

[willia451]

If you work hard and are loyal, you can be considered. Those were the only two qualifications Jerry mentioned.

Keep the faith young master.

 

[atlantacowboy]

Jerry if you are seeing this, I would like to put my name as a potential replacement for the outgoing Jason Garrett (that’s of course If you do decide to let him go). As your reading my qualifications, please keep in mind I am not asking for a mega deal. A couple of thousand a year would be sufficient enough for me. I feel I can at least give you what the Garrett was able to provide you with a fraction cost.

Football Experience

1). I only played football in my senior year of high school (played inside linebacker), though I was offered a scholarship to Tarletan State University. I never understood I why I was offered a scholarship seeing that I was terrible at playing the sport of football (I think my coach was well connected or something). It’s the reason why I opted to take a baseball scholarship somewhere else instead. If you can’t play coach is how the saying goes so yea that could be a thing.
2). I have watched thousands of hours of NFL and college games. Like thousands. So yea
4). Been to numerous draft parties. Met Joe Avezzano once. Oh and I saw Flozell Adams and DeMarcus Ware at a Lowe’s (different occasions).
3). Played ALLOT of Madden when I was a kid. I haven’t played like in six years but if I was given a control I think muscle memory would allow to be a decent opponent.

Leadership

2). I don’t clap. I honestly can’t remember the last time I clapped for something. It’s odd, like idk where or when I could have been for me to clap for what I was watching in front me. I’m like thinking about it as I type this and I honestly can’t come up with something. Its strange
3). Ask every employee who has worked for me, every friend or girlfriend I have ever had, they will all tell you I am very impatient. This is a good thing for coach imo. Like I would have at least given Chaz Green help after watching the first drive in that Falcons game.
4). I don’t blame others for my own incompetence.
5). You will never hear me mention a process or “the process”.
6). I don’t believe in calling timeouts while your kicker is kicking a FG.

Please consider my qualifications. PM me when you are ready to schedule and interview thanks.

You are overqualified. All you gotta do is play catch, smile, and wear a headset. Jerry hires other people to do the work.

 

[CF74]

You had us at Madden!!!

 

[leeblair]

Jerry if you are seeing this, I would like to put my name as a potential replacement for the outgoing Jason Garrett (that’s of course If you do decide to let him go). As your reading my qualifications, please keep in mind I am not asking for a mega deal. A couple of thousand a year would be sufficient enough for me. I feel I can at least give you what the Garrett was able to provide you with a fraction cost.

Football Experience

1). I only played football in my senior year of high school (played inside linebacker), though I was offered a scholarship to Tarletan State University. I never understood I why I was offered a scholarship seeing that I was terrible at playing the sport of football (I think my coach was well connected or something). It’s the reason why I opted to take a baseball scholarship somewhere else instead. If you can’t play coach is how the saying goes so yea that could be a thing.
2). I have watched thousands of hours of NFL and college games. Like thousands. So yea
4). Been to numerous draft parties. Met Joe Avezzano once. Oh and I saw Flozell Adams and DeMarcus Ware at a Lowe’s (different occasions).
3). Played ALLOT of Madden when I was a kid. I haven’t played like in six years but if I was given a control I think muscle memory would allow to be a decent opponent.

Leadership

2). I don’t clap. I honestly can’t remember the last time I clapped for something. It’s odd, like idk where or when I could have been for me to clap for what I was watching in front me. I’m like thinking about it as I type this and I honestly can’t come up with something. Its strange
3). Ask every employee who has worked for me, every friend or girlfriend I have ever had, they will all tell you I am very impatient. This is a good thing for coach imo. Like I would have at least given Chaz Green help after watching the first drive in that Falcons game.
4). I don’t blame others for my own incompetence.
5). You will never hear me mention a process or “the process”.
6). I don’t believe in calling timeouts while your kicker is kicking a FG.

Please consider my qualifications. PM me when you are ready to schedule and interview thanks.

Can you teach Jumping Jacks?
This was an important quality of Jason Garrett. We cannot have players who are not doing Jumping Jacks properly.
Can you be great today? You must be able to be great on command. Jason could. If you don't believe me, just ask him.
Clichés are important. You must be able to call upon catchy clichés at press conferences.
Please submit your won/lost record from the coaching setting on Madden- years 2010-2019.

 

[Flamma]

It is

I'm sorry. As a result of the last decade all Jason's will be removed from consideration for the head coaching job for the Dallas Cowboys. You may however apply for the position of offensive coordinator. Being an LB I'll just assume that's not your cup of tea. But your call is important to us so please stay on the line and our first available representative will be with you shortly.

 

[3rd_n_inches]

Jerry if you are seeing this, I would like to put my name as a potential replacement for the outgoing Jason Garrett (that’s of course If you do decide to let him go). As your reading my qualifications, please keep in mind I am not asking for a mega deal. A couple of thousand a year would be sufficient enough for me. I feel I can at least give you what the Garrett was able to provide you with a fraction cost.

Football Experience

1). I only played football in my senior year of high school (played inside linebacker), though I was offered a scholarship to Tarletan State University. I never understood I why I was offered a scholarship seeing that I was terrible at playing the sport of football (I think my coach was well connected or something). It’s the reason why I opted to take a baseball scholarship somewhere else instead. If you can’t play coach is how the saying goes so yea that could be a thing.
2). I have watched thousands of hours of NFL and college games. Like thousands. So yea
4). Been to numerous draft parties. Met Joe Avezzano once. Oh and I saw Flozell Adams and DeMarcus Ware at a Lowe’s (different occasions).
3). Played ALLOT of Madden when I was a kid. I haven’t played like in six years but if I was given a control I think muscle memory would allow to be a decent opponent.

Leadership

2). I don’t clap. I honestly can’t remember the last time I clapped for something. It’s odd, like idk where or when I could have been for me to clap for what I was watching in front me. I’m like thinking about it as I type this and I honestly can’t come up with something. Its strange
3). Ask every employee who has worked for me, every friend or girlfriend I have ever had, they will all tell you I am very impatient. This is a good thing for coach imo. Like I would have at least given Chaz Green help after watching the first drive in that Falcons game.
4). I don’t blame others for my own incompetence.
5). You will never hear me mention a process or “the process”.
6). I don’t believe in calling timeouts while your kicker is kicking a FG.

Please consider my qualifications. PM me when you are ready to schedule and interview thanks.

Nice try....JANE SLATER!!!!

 

[America's Cowboy]

It is

 

[Sarek]

Awesome

 

[IheartRomo]

Quality manure post. Well done.

 

[silvrNblue]

Jerry if you are seeing this, I would like to put my name as a potential replacement for the outgoing Jason Garrett (that’s of course If you do decide to let him go). As your reading my qualifications, please keep in mind I am not asking for a mega deal. A couple of thousand a year would be sufficient enough for me. I feel I can at least give you what the Garrett was able to provide you with a fraction cost.

Football Experience

1). I only played football in my senior year of high school (played inside linebacker), though I was offered a scholarship to Tarletan State University. I never understood I why I was offered a scholarship seeing that I was terrible at playing the sport of football (I think my coach was well connected or something). It’s the reason why I opted to take a baseball scholarship somewhere else instead. If you can’t play coach is how the saying goes so yea that could be a thing.
2). I have watched thousands of hours of NFL and college games. Like thousands. So yea
4). Been to numerous draft parties. Met Joe Avezzano once. Oh and I saw Flozell Adams and DeMarcus Ware at a Lowe’s (different occasions).
3). Played ALLOT of Madden when I was a kid. I haven’t played like in six years but if I was given a control I think muscle memory would allow to be a decent opponent.

Leadership

2). I don’t clap. I honestly can’t remember the last time I clapped for something. It’s odd, like idk where or when I could have been for me to clap for what I was watching in front me. I’m like thinking about it as I type this and I honestly can’t come up with something. Its strange
3). Ask every employee who has worked for me, every friend or girlfriend I have ever had, they will all tell you I am very impatient. This is a good thing for coach imo. Like I would have at least given Chaz Green help after watching the first drive in that Falcons game.
4). I don’t blame others for my own incompetence.
5). You will never hear me mention a process or “the process”.
6). I don’t believe in calling timeouts while your kicker is kicking a FG.

Please consider my qualifications. PM me when you are ready to schedule and interview thanks.

Only if you can make THESE fit...thanks, and I will wait for a photo of you wearing my required attire....JJ

 

[Whyjerry]

Jerry if you are seeing this, I would like to put my name as a potential replacement for the outgoing Jason Garrett (that’s of course If you do decide to let him go). As your reading my qualifications, please keep in mind I am not asking for a mega deal. A couple of thousand a year would be sufficient enough for me. I feel I can at least give you what the Garrett was able to provide you with a fraction cost.

Football Experience

1). I only played football in my senior year of high school (played inside linebacker), though I was offered a scholarship to Tarletan State University. I never understood I why I was offered a scholarship seeing that I was terrible at playing the sport of football (I think my coach was well connected or something). It’s the reason why I opted to take a baseball scholarship somewhere else instead. If you can’t play coach is how the saying goes so yea that could be a thing.
2). I have watched thousands of hours of NFL and college games. Like thousands. So yea
4). Been to numerous draft parties. Met Joe Avezzano once. Oh and I saw Flozell Adams and DeMarcus Ware at a Lowe’s (different occasions).
3). Played ALLOT of Madden when I was a kid. I haven’t played like in six years but if I was given a control I think muscle memory would allow to be a decent opponent.

Leadership

2). I don’t clap. I honestly can’t remember the last time I clapped for something. It’s odd, like idk where or when I could have been for me to clap for what I was watching in front me. I’m like thinking about it as I type this and I honestly can’t come up with something. Its strange
3). Ask every employee who has worked for me, every friend or girlfriend I have ever had, they will all tell you I am very impatient. This is a good thing for coach imo. Like I would have at least given Chaz Green help after watching the first drive in that Falcons game.
4). I don’t blame others for my own incompetence.
5). You will never hear me mention a process or “the process”.
6). I don’t believe in calling timeouts while your kicker is kicking a FG.

Please consider my qualifications. PM me when you are ready to schedule and interview thanks.

Still better than Garrett. Hired.

 

[Whirlwin]

I have great people skills. I can definitely articulate to every sort of character. My two minute skills need updating. But I’m not a puppet so I’m out

 

[jsb357]

I like Mr Garrett am excellent at spotting scape goats in the wild...

Plus for a measly 2.5 mil a year I can be a puppet as well.

more fist pumps less clapping and no jet sweeps, and more screen plays.

disclaimer...

the press conferences will be Belichick / Lynch like so there is that...

 

[JMech]

Jerry if you are seeing this, I would like to put my name as a potential replacement for the outgoing Jason Garrett (that’s of course If you do decide to let him go). As your reading my qualifications, please keep in mind I am not asking for a mega deal. A couple of thousand a year would be sufficient enough for me. I feel I can at least give you what the Garrett was able to provide you with a fraction cost.

Football Experience

1). I only played football in my senior year of high school (played inside linebacker), though I was offered a scholarship to Tarletan State University. I never understood I why I was offered a scholarship seeing that I was terrible at playing the sport of football (I think my coach was well connected or something). It’s the reason why I opted to take a baseball scholarship somewhere else instead. If you can’t play coach is how the saying goes so yea that could be a thing.
2). I have watched thousands of hours of NFL and college games. Like thousands. So yea
4). Been to numerous draft parties. Met Joe Avezzano once. Oh and I saw Flozell Adams and DeMarcus Ware at a Lowe’s (different occasions).
3). Played ALLOT of Madden when I was a kid. I haven’t played like in six years but if I was given a control I think muscle memory would allow to be a decent opponent.

Leadership

2). I don’t clap. I honestly can’t remember the last time I clapped for something. It’s odd, like idk where or when I could have been for me to clap for what I was watching in front me. I’m like thinking about it as I type this and I honestly can’t come up with something. Its strange
3). Ask every employee who has worked for me, every friend or girlfriend I have ever had, they will all tell you I am very impatient. This is a good thing for coach imo. Like I would have at least given Chaz Green help after watching the first drive in that Falcons game.
4). I don’t blame others for my own incompetence.
5). You will never hear me mention a process or “the process”.
6). I don’t believe in calling timeouts while your kicker is kicking a FG.

Please consider my qualifications. PM me when you are ready to schedule and interview thanks.

I like you. Certainly superior qualifications to Garrett! You are under consideration.