If a hunter's gotta go, what's wrong with the woods?

joseephuss

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http://www.statesman.com/news/local/if-a-hunters-gotta-go-whats-wrong-with-693602.html

If a hunter's gotta go, what's wrong with the woods?

John Kelso, Commentary

If it's permissible for bears to do what bears do in the woods, why not Texas hunters?

This question popped up March 9 when the Waco regional office of the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality got a complaint on hunters pooping in the woods in rural Limestone County, east of Waco.

"The complainant alleged that David Cousins had been leasing out a hunting cabin and allowing the hunters to deficate (sic) in the woods," the TCEQ complaint report says.

Part of the problem, said Anna Dunbar, regional director of TCEQ's Waco office, is that the hunting cabin had an outhouse. "It was just an old-fashioned hole in the ground with a little seat over it," she said. She explained that outhouses of this sort are "strictly prohibited."

Outhouses are illegal in Texas? What's this state coming to?

This brings up a serious philosophical question. Should hunters have plumbing, and if they do, should they be forced to use it? Doesn't the Second Amendment address hunters going in the woods? If it doesn't, it should. Many hunters go hunting not so much for the deer as to get away from the "Yes, dear." Hey, there is such a thing as quality of life.

The complaint was referred to Limestone County Judge Daniel Burkeen, who wrote a response to Tim Blackmon, water and waste section work leader for the TCEQ's Waco regional office.

"Dear Tim," Judge Burkeen's letter begins. "We have had some delay in our investigation of the incidents alleged in the complaint which you kindly forwarded to us. The problem is, we have recently had a rash of reports of cows, horses, sheep and goats defecating at will in pastures throughout the county. On top of this, we suspect that wild hogs, deer, and all sorts of other animals are defecating without even trying to find a proper facility. In addition, I have personal proof on my windshield of a mischievous bird defecating in flight."

You can imagine all the working hours Limestone County would burn up, and the excessive expense, if the county had to assign workers to go into the woods to gather samples and have them mailed off to be analyzed to determine who or what is the responsible party.

Or as Burkeen writes in his letter to TCEQ's Waco office, "Should we send these to you, or directly to Austin?"

"It's just one of those things that struck me: Don't these people have better things to do?" said Burkeen, who doesn't hunt. "It's one of those things that's just not really a big problem. We've got bigger problems to deal with."

In his letter, Burkeen urges the TCEQ to handle the matter locally.

"When it comes to matters of excessive defecation, Washington bureaucrats would only add to our misery," he writes.

Still, couldn't this lead to a new Cabinet position? You know, the secretary of, well, nevermind.

John Kelso's column appears on Sundays, Tuesdays and Fridays. Contact him at 445-3606 or jkelso@statesman.com.
 

BrAinPaiNt

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Kind of stupid but at the same time there are some interesting points.

If the guy is leasing out the property, and making money doing so...Then one would think he would be responsible for having proper toilet(s). Now I am not talking about hunters pooping in the woods. You get out so far and you just can't get back to a bathroom. Just dig you a cat hole, do your business and cover it up and it is no big thing. The part about the guy complaining (as a joke) about the animals doing it is about stupid as they don't know better nor do they have proper facilities (even if they were in range of one). I am sure if a neighbor came over and crapped on his front lawn and the neighbor used the excuse of well birds and cats poop in your yard so it must be ok...he would not have a kind reaction to it. The reason...humans know (or should) better.

However like I said before if you are a loooong way in the woods away from the toilet than you really are not going to be able to get back to it. So dig a small hole and cover it up and all is well.

But back to what I said earlier...I would think if the guy is making money by leasing out this cabin and land that he would be required to have proper facilities that meet certain guidelines.
 

StanleySpadowski

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I wouldn't argue quantum physics with Stephen Hawking and I sure as heck am not going to argue outhouses with Brainpaint.
 

big dog cowboy

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StanleySpadowski;3405272 said:
I wouldn't argue quantum physics with Stephen Hawking and I sure as heck am not going to argue outhouses with Brainpaint.
:laugh2:
 

BrAinPaiNt

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StanleySpadowski;3405272 said:
I wouldn't argue quantum physics with Stephen Hawking and I sure as heck am not going to argue outhouses with Brainpaint.

I would rather just dig a hole than take my chances in an old outhouse.

Don't need no snake sneaking up and biting me in that area...or having the wood half dead and falling through or a load of other things that could happen in an old outhouse.
:D


So just stick with nature and if you have to drop a deuce, dig a small cat hole and cover it up.
 

CowboyWay

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StanleySpadowski;3405272 said:
I wouldn't argue quantum physics with Stephen Hawking and I sure as heck am not going to argue outhouses with Brainpaint.

Awesome !!!!!:bow:
 

theogt

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StanleySpadowski;3405272 said:
I wouldn't argue quantum physics with Stephen Hawking and I sure as heck am not going to argue outhouses with Brainpaint.
Post of the year.
:laugh2:
 

theogt

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BrAinPaiNt;3405397 said:
I think I am going to sue you over emotionally distress.
I think that tort exists only in law school case books. :)
 

BrAinPaiNt

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theogt;3405415 said:
I think that tort exists only in law school case books. :)

I'll find something to sue you over....lawyerman. :p:
 

jackrussell

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Exactly why I take my dog hunting with me.


doggie-pooper-scooper.jpg
 

kmp77

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StanleySpadowski;3405272 said:
I wouldn't argue quantum physics with Stephen Hawking and I sure as heck am not going to argue outhouses with Brainpaint.

Wow........

rofl-doggie.jpg
 

StanleySpadowski

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theogt;3405415 said:
I think that tort exists only in law school case books. :)

BP doesn't have any books. He uses them after he colors them.



Charmin costs money and tree bark scratches.
 

BrAinPaiNt

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StanleySpadowski;3405883 said:
BP doesn't have any books. He uses them after he colors them.



Charmin costs money and tree bark scratches.

Books cost money too.:D

It reminded me of some comedy movie from the 80s or 90s. Wish I could remember the name of it. It was set back in frontier/old west days.

Some back woods guy ventures into town and goes into the book store. He asks the owner of the store what is the biggest book he has for sale. The owner thinks he is going to make a sale of some great literary work that the back woods guy will enjoy reading and cherish only to find out the guy just wants a big darn book in order to use as TP. :laugh2:
 

joseephuss

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BrAinPaiNt;3405895 said:
Books cost money too.:D

It reminded me of some comedy movie from the 80s or 90s. Wish I could remember the name of it. It was set back in frontier/old west days.

Some back woods guy ventures into town and goes into the book store. He asks the owner of the store what is the biggest book he has for sale. The owner thinks he is going to make a sale of some great literary work that the back woods guy will enjoy reading and cherish only to find out the guy just wants a big darn book in order to use as TP. :laugh2:

You can't wipe with a Kindle. Well, you can, it just isn't as useful as a book.
 

BrAinPaiNt

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StanleySpadowski;3405909 said:
When you meet BP, I'd suggest just nodding your head rather than shaking hands.

Nah...I don't use books and I don't use my bare hands.

I would think you would know by know that we use corn cobs. Then after they dry out we make pipes out of them and sell them to furriners. :eek: :p:
 

StanleySpadowski

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BrAinPaiNt;3405934 said:
Nah...I don't use books and I don't use my bare hands.

I would think you would know by know that we use corn cobs. Then after they dry out we make pipes out of them and sell them to furriners. :eek: :p:


:lmao2:


I hadn't heard that.


I do know that you pick up women by going to your family reunion and searching for girls who eat corn on the cob the long way.
 

Hostile

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No offense to anyone related to Anna Dunbar, but I hate her. This is exactly the kind of stupid stuff that just drives me over the edge.

It's poop. It is biodegradable. It will either dry up, or it will fertilize something.

I really hate people who are universally stupid. She sent a query to a judge asking for the best way to analyze poop and who done it?

Hey Anna, illegal aliens poop in the wilderness too. Call my Governor.
 
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