If a hunter's gotta go, what's wrong with the woods?

[StanleySpadowski]

No offense to anyone related to Anna Dunbar, but I hate her. This is exactly the kind of stupid stuff that just drives me over the edge.

It's poop. It is biodegradable. It will either dry up, or it will fertilize something.

I really hate people who are universally stupid. She sent a query to a judge asking for the best way to analyze poop and who done it?

Hey Anna, illegal aliens poop in the wilderness too. Call my Governor.

Stop trying to hijack my hijack.


If you ain't got something bad to say about Brainpaint or hillbillies in general, get out.

 

[BrAinPaiNt]

Stop trying to hijack my hijack.


If you ain't got something bad to say about Brainpaint or hillbillies in general, get out.

Get him stanley...tell him to go back and re hijack his own hijacked thread.:

 

[Hostile]

Stop trying to hijack my hijack.


If you ain't got something bad to say about Brainpaint or hillbillies in general, get out.

I sowwy. Fohgive me?

 

[StanleySpadowski]

I sowwy. Fohgive me?

Only if you've got a good/bad hillbilly joke.





How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?







Anywhere else and it'd be called a teethbrush.

 

[arglebargle]

You can always count on John Kelso to make fun of something stupid, double if it's real stoooopid.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I wouldn't argue quantum physics with Stephen Hawking and I sure as heck am not going to argue outhouses with Brainpaint.

:laugh2::laugh1:

 

[SaltwaterServr]

I would rather just dig a hole than take my chances in an old outhouse.

Don't need no snake sneaking up and biting me in that area...or having the wood half dead and falling through or a load of other things that could happen in an old outhouse.



So just stick with nature and if you have to drop a deuce, dig a small cat hole and cover it up.

Anyone who's hunted on an old lease with an older outhouse knows them things grow a special breed of hairy ornery spider that like to crawl up in the crotch of your pants before you pull them back on.

 

[CliffnDallas]

Only if you've got a good/bad hillbilly joke.





How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?







Anywhere else and it'd be called a teethbrush.

Notice you never see road kill in West virginia? Only empty bun wrappers and mayo packs...

 

[arglebargle]

Anyone who's hunted on an old lease with an older outhouse knows them things grow a special breed of hairy ornery spider that like to crawl up in the crotch of your pants before you pull them back on.

Which leads to a very special version of the spider dance, usually well appreciated by anyone who happens to catch the performance. That is, until the excited unveiling of spider......

 

[joseephuss]

Anyone who's hunted on an old lease with an older outhouse knows them things grow a special breed of hairy ornery spider that like to crawl up in the crotch of your pants before you pull them back on.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,592893,00.html

Man, 22, Suffers Poisonous Spider Bite to the Genitals

A tourist is lucky to be alive after a deadly spider bit him on the *****.

The Canadian backpacker was attacked after skinny-dipping in New Zealand.

While he was swimming, a rare katipo spider crawled into the shorts he had left on the beach. When the man returned, he put them back on and fell asleep — but the trapped spider then nipped him on his manhood.

Within minutes, the spider's venom was causing him to have agonizing chest pains, a racing heart, high blood pressure and severe swelling to his *****.

Dr. Nigel Harrison, who treated the 22-year-old at Dargaville Hospital, revealed the case in a report for the New Zealand Medical Journal.

"It was a rather nasty, ill-placed bite,” Harrison said. “The man woke to find his ***** swollen and painful with a red mark on the shaft suggestive of a bite. He rapidly developed generalized muscle pains, fever, headache, photophobia (light sensitivity) and vomiting."

The unidentified man's condition "improved rapidly" after treatment with an anti-venom, but he was kept in the hospital for 16 days before being allowed to return to Canada.

The katipo, a Maori word meaning "night-stinger,” is an endangered species in New Zealand.

The pea-sized spiders are related to the American Black Widow. Bites to humans are rare, but two fatalities were recorded in the 1800s.

 

[StanleySpadowski]

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,592893,00.html



"It was a rather nasty, ill-placed bite,” Harrison said. “The man woke to find his ***** swollen and painful with a red mark on the shaft suggestive of a bite.

The opening line to Mitch Albom's next novel, Wednesdays with Brainpaint

 

[BrAinPaiNt]

The opening line to Mitch Albom's next novel, Wednesdays with Brainpaint

Where there was this one time when we were out in the woods at Ft Polk doing land nav course and nobody was around so I go to drop the kids off...while crouching down I heard a noise on the ground and looked down to see a large snake crawl on the grown between my legs and just a few inches away from the full monty. I think trees creaked from the vacuum created by my sphincter tightening in that instant. :laugh1:

 

[Hostile]

Only if you've got a good/bad hillbilly joke.

I guess I am in the dog house for real then. Right now would be a bad time for me to joke about anything with him. Sorry for the hijack. I hadn't read the rest of the thread when I responded to the OP.

 

[BrAinPaiNt]

I guess I am in the dog house for real then. Right now would be a bad time for me to joke about anything with him. Sorry for the hijack. I hadn't read the rest of the thread when I responded to the OP.

Nah I think my time of the month passed now. Besides I am always ok for a good hillbilly joke. There are so many I would like to tell but they are just not board material so I have to hold my tongue.

 

[StanleySpadowski]

Nah I think my time of the month passed now. Besides I am always ok for a good hillbilly joke. There are so many I would like to tell but they are just not board material so I have to hold my tongue.

That is a problem. So many great ones aren't suitable for a family board like this.

 

[ethiostar]

What do you get when you put 32 West Virginian lawyers in the same room?












A full set of teeth.

 

[BrAinPaiNt]

I usually tell this one as an Ohio joke and if I have already told it I apologize.

At one time the high/low beam switch for the headlights in cars used to be on the floorboard. It was this way for years. Then they started changing the high/low beam switch and put it on the arm where the blinker control is.

However after a few years they had to change any cars being sold in West Virginia back to the floorboard switch for safety reasons.

It seems that too many hillbillies were getting in wrecks because they were getting their feet stuck in the steering wheel at night.

Bada Bing

Probably one of the few "clean" jokes I know as far as hillbilly ones. Although I guess I could change some cajun jokes over to fit hillbilly ones.

 

[ethiostar]

I usually tell this one as an Ohio joke and if I have already told it I apologize.

At one time the high/low beam switch for the headlights in cars used to be on the floorboard. It was this way for years. Then they started changing the high/low beam switch and put it on the arm where the blinker control is.

However after a few years they had to change any cars being sold in West Virginia back to the floorboard switch for safety reasons.

It seems that too many hillbillies were getting in wrecks because they were getting their feet stuck in the steering wheel at night.

Bada Bing

Probably one of the few "clean" jokes I know as far as hillbilly ones. Although I guess I could change some cajun jokes over to fit hillbilly ones.

:laugh2:

West Virginia, one big happy family, literally!!!

 

[Chief]

I wouldn't argue quantum physics with Stephen Hawking and I sure as heck am not going to argue outhouses with Brainpaint.

:laugh2:

 

[StanleySpadowski]

If someone, we'll call him PaintBrain, sued me for defamation, would the fact that what I said was true shield me?

I mean the last thing I want to see is my K-car up on blocks in his yard.