I'm in Facebook jail

[Reverend Conehead]

That's all good but the Eagles do have an SB this century.

Yes, that's an obscenity. I'm going to fix up my time machine and go back and change that.

 

[lukin2006]

I stopped using Facebook. I prefer to keep my online presence anonymous…especially from nosy family.

 

[mattjames2010]

Facebook needs an Elon Musk.
Twitter is so much better now.

It's exactly the same Twitter as before, it now just makes you pay $8 if you want verification and he brought back some banned verified accounts. Musk is a lying narcissist - not shocking.

 

[mattjames2010]

Facebook, Twitter, and Reddit are garbage that moved the internet backwards and killed off a lot of message boards that created diversity. They also empowered mods drunk with power because they are losers in real life (I'm serious, go watch some videos of mods who have been interviewed. They are mentally-ill shut-in dweebs.)

 

[RodeoJake]

I use to keep in touch with family. I've been in FB jail a few times. The last was joking with a cousins hubby about vegans being a healthy choice for cannibals.

 

[lukin2006]

Did you make bail? Hope the judge was easy on you..

 

[catiii]

That's scary. In one of my time travel missions, to late August of 1983 to be exact, I had a love romp with a hottie whom I've always expected was Amber Heard, also traveled back in time. If I made her with child then, and she hung around in the past, we're looking at about May of '84 when the love child would have been born. Nah, it can't be. I asked her if she was on birth control, and, in a wild party voice, she said, "Suuuurrre, baby, why not? Now, take me, baby!" I shouldn't worry about these dumb things.

I want whatever you're taking before bed.

 

[Reverend Conehead]

I use to keep in touch with family. I've been in FB jail a few times. The last was joking with a cousins hubby about vegans being a healthy choice for cannibals.

See, that's funny. FB seems to lack a sense of humor. It might even be true. Like if you were on a plane that crashed on a mountain in the middle of nowhere, and the survivors ran out of food. It would be like:

Rev Conehead: Aw, crap. We're all too hungry to survive, and Bill just ate the last bite of beef jerky.
RodeoJake: I'm starvin'.
Rev Conehead: I'm so hungry I could eat a horse.
RodeoJake: That sounds good, but we ain't got a horse.
Rev Conehead: Hey, ya know ... them dead bodies we got stacked and frozen over there in the snow ... they startin' to look mighty tasty.
RodeoJake: I know what you mean. I walked past Cindy's dead bod a while ago, and my mouth started waterin'.
Rev Conehead: Yeah, me too. You know we're gonna have to do this. My mouth watered by Ralph's body and by Cindy's. Which one should we use to have a real nice and tasty barbecue?
RodeoJake: Cindy's for sure. Did you know she was a vegan?
Rev Conehead: Really, I did not know that. That'll be perfectly tender for our barbecue.
RodeoJake: We got what we need for a fire.
Rev Conehead: Great, and what's even better, we got some barbecue sauce in the cargo hold that some dude was transporting.
RodeoJake: All right! I've even got an old Cowboys game on an MP4 file that we can watch.
Rev Conehead: Awesome! We'll have a vegan-flesh barbecue and watch the Cowboys play. Forget we're trapped here for a while. But what about when we use up all of Cindy's body?
RodeoJake: No worries. This geeky looking dead dude over here -- that's Jake, Cindy's husband. He was vegan also.
Rev Conehead: All right -- par-tay! Let's start dismembering her corpse, cook it over a nice fire with our barbecue sauce, and let's watch some football. Hey, it ain't so bad being stranded and worrying if you're gonna die on a mountain.
RodeoJake: Yeah, man, this makes it a lot better. I feel so much better that we have some dead vegans to munch on. Makes things a lot better. I'm glad we don't have to munch on some artery-clogged meat eater.
Rev Conehead: Me too. Their meat's too smelly and tough. I'm so grateful to Cindy and Jake for having such a great diet. This is gonna be one great barbecue.
RodeoJake: Yeah, man.
(They high-five.)

 

[FloridaRob]

No thanks for FB. I just cant think of a reason to know when my distant niece is going to the store to buy some bread.

 

[Reverend Conehead]

No thanks for FB. I just cant think of a reason to know when my distant niece is going to the store to buy some bread.

But she might bake some bread in her bread machine. You don't want to this that, do you?

 

[Ranching]

Yes, that's an obscenity. I'm going to fix up my time machine and go back and change that.

Been there, done that...did 30 days once...joking with one of my former players...he called me old man and I told him I would beat him with my walker. Lol! They have no sense of humor.

 

[Booger]

I can't believe it. Facebook put me in FB jail just because I told an Eagles fan exactly what I thought of him. I didn't break any of FB's rules. I looked all through them, and there's not a single place where it says, "You're not allowed to tell an Eagles fan exactly what you think of him."

FB is biased against Cowboy fans. I can't post there until Sunday. Pfft! Jerks.

Facebook should be in jail......

 

[Cowpolk]

Been there, done that...did 30 days once...joking with one of my former players...he called me old man and I told him I would beat him with my walker. Lol! They have no sense of humor.

So an elderly Italian man living alone in New Jersey wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, since the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,

 

[RustyBourneHorse]

I left FB years ago. Telegram is fun though.

 

[Them]

LOL...Welcome to the club!...nyuk!

 

[Shinaoi]

I just got banned from discord today and for the life of me I can’t figure out why. I emailed them for support but they haven’t got back to me. I’m a pretty mild mannered person and barely talk on it except to close friends but lo and behold got the axe. Bizarre.

 

[gtb1943]

It's exactly the same Twitter as before, it now just makes you pay $8 if you want verification and he brought back some banned verified accounts. Musk is a lying narcissist - not shocking.

Frankly only a dunce could not notice the difference.

 

[nyc-cowboy]

Did you make bail? Hope the judge was easy on you..

I think he has to ware an ankle bracelet every time he logs on.

 

[mattjames2010]

Frankly only a dunce could not notice the difference.

Name the difference. The only people who are a dunce are the ones paying for verification for a social media with the same exact no fun rules and terrible flagging system.

 

[kskboys]

I want whatever you're taking before bed.

More like whomever!!!!