erod
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The winds are spinning an ugly tale right now. The once-shunned Eddie DeBartolo was enshrined into the Hall of Fame last weekend, and now Jerry Jones is being bandied about as next on the list.
Lord, help me. As if two decades in a football vacuum wasn't enough to endure, I may have to watch this Jed Clampett in Brooks Brothers give a Hall of Fame speech? Do teleprompters transcribe bumpkin?
The aftermath could be ugly. Such a stamp of validation will only encourage the same frivolity, irresponsibility, and self-promoting football ignorance that this franchise is desperately trying to grow out of. Somewhere, the Maras are laughing under their breath. Scheming *******s.
Jerry honestly believes we care about the $2 billion value of the franchise. He thinks pretty stadjums are the same as Super Bowls. He thinks we give a rat's rip about the Sky Mirror. He thinks we fist-pump when he finds a new sucker to sponsor the bimbo dancers. Here lately, he thinks we're all about this completely unnecessary gaudy practice field 45 minutes away from Jean's Art Museum.
Who wouldn't trade Jerry's shrines for 20 years of good football at the Texas Stadium? Nobody.
Listen, Jerry, nobody cares about your erector set collection outside of those tucked firmly in your last will and testament. You measure yourself in peripherals because there's nothing else to measure. You're a hollow soul that shredded the statesman-like respect and distinction that once defined the Dallas Cowboys.
A 23-year-old with an MBA has no recollection of the Cowboys playing in an NFC Championship game. None. He and his friends must wonder what all the fuss is about. They must wonder why we're so obsessed with a franchise dripping in constant controversy, embarrassment, empty promises, and haughtiness. They laugh at P.T. Jerry and his travelling band of gypsies, tramps, and thieves.
I honestly don't know how anyone who can't remember Tom Landry would choose his team. I still love it....but I'm not particularly proud to say so sometimes. I love Jason Garrett for trying so hard to restore its former image. God help that man.
The fact is, the Cowboys are tied with the Lions in futility the past 20 years. Each has won two lousy playoff games in that tenure, fewer than even the lowly Commanders. Most embarrassing is how many times Jerry has uttered "Super Bowl" to every camera and microphone he could find throughout. You'd think Dallas had won 15 championships since the internet explosion. Nope. None.
Jerry clings to those three Super Bowls in complete delusion. Habitual liars can convince themselves of anything, and Jerry must think he quarterbacked those teams by now. He had less to with it than Jimmy's hairdresser-turned-wife, Rhonda, and that's not a stretch. He was a bystander when it came to football, period.
True, he's made a ton of money for the league. Other owners have reaped willingly from it. They'll probably put him in on that fact alone, probably just to stick it to us. Such an ego stroke would cement the delusion, and I fear Jerry would don the Darth Vader mask for good. God help Stephen, too.
Just imagine. Jerry in the Hall of Fame. While Jimmy, Drew, Harvey, Too Tall, and so many others more deserving.....wait.
Football blasphemy.
Lord, help me. As if two decades in a football vacuum wasn't enough to endure, I may have to watch this Jed Clampett in Brooks Brothers give a Hall of Fame speech? Do teleprompters transcribe bumpkin?
The aftermath could be ugly. Such a stamp of validation will only encourage the same frivolity, irresponsibility, and self-promoting football ignorance that this franchise is desperately trying to grow out of. Somewhere, the Maras are laughing under their breath. Scheming *******s.
Jerry honestly believes we care about the $2 billion value of the franchise. He thinks pretty stadjums are the same as Super Bowls. He thinks we give a rat's rip about the Sky Mirror. He thinks we fist-pump when he finds a new sucker to sponsor the bimbo dancers. Here lately, he thinks we're all about this completely unnecessary gaudy practice field 45 minutes away from Jean's Art Museum.
Who wouldn't trade Jerry's shrines for 20 years of good football at the Texas Stadium? Nobody.
Listen, Jerry, nobody cares about your erector set collection outside of those tucked firmly in your last will and testament. You measure yourself in peripherals because there's nothing else to measure. You're a hollow soul that shredded the statesman-like respect and distinction that once defined the Dallas Cowboys.
A 23-year-old with an MBA has no recollection of the Cowboys playing in an NFC Championship game. None. He and his friends must wonder what all the fuss is about. They must wonder why we're so obsessed with a franchise dripping in constant controversy, embarrassment, empty promises, and haughtiness. They laugh at P.T. Jerry and his travelling band of gypsies, tramps, and thieves.
I honestly don't know how anyone who can't remember Tom Landry would choose his team. I still love it....but I'm not particularly proud to say so sometimes. I love Jason Garrett for trying so hard to restore its former image. God help that man.
The fact is, the Cowboys are tied with the Lions in futility the past 20 years. Each has won two lousy playoff games in that tenure, fewer than even the lowly Commanders. Most embarrassing is how many times Jerry has uttered "Super Bowl" to every camera and microphone he could find throughout. You'd think Dallas had won 15 championships since the internet explosion. Nope. None.
Jerry clings to those three Super Bowls in complete delusion. Habitual liars can convince themselves of anything, and Jerry must think he quarterbacked those teams by now. He had less to with it than Jimmy's hairdresser-turned-wife, Rhonda, and that's not a stretch. He was a bystander when it came to football, period.
True, he's made a ton of money for the league. Other owners have reaped willingly from it. They'll probably put him in on that fact alone, probably just to stick it to us. Such an ego stroke would cement the delusion, and I fear Jerry would don the Darth Vader mask for good. God help Stephen, too.
Just imagine. Jerry in the Hall of Fame. While Jimmy, Drew, Harvey, Too Tall, and so many others more deserving.....wait.
Football blasphemy.
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