Making a book

xWraithx

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kimorah86;3343846 said:
First Page of my story and this is without spell check tell me what you think:

“What's wrong with you.” Sarah's mother Jill asked. Her daughter was laying on the floor, curled up in the ball. Her little body was shaking. Tears rolled down her face.
“He hurt me mama.” Sarah cried
“Who hurt you Sarah.” Jill said with a surprise look on her face.
Sarah continued to cry. Her body still curled up and shaking. Jill moved closer to Sarah. “Who hurt you baby.” Jill asked again, this time bending over to rub Sarah's back. But Sarah just continued to cry. Even harder than before.
Jill grab her daughter's hands and pulled her into a standing position, then pulled her towards her. Jill's sat on Sarah's bed, her back facing the bedroom door. Sarah hugged her mother and put her head on Jill's shoulder. Jill caress her daughter's back.
“Tell me what happen Sarah. Tell me who hurt you.” Jill pleaded
“He hurt me mama. He touched me. I was scared. I called for you but you didn't answers.” Sarah cried
“Who touched you.” Jill asked. Her voice cracked and she started to cry. “Who hurt you. Please tell me honey. Who hurt you.”
Sarah her head up but left her chin on her mothers shoulder. “I can't tell you he will hurt me. He will hurt us.” She cried
“No he won't you can tell me. I will protect you. He will never hurt you again.” She said pulling Sarah away from her, so she can see her face. Jill looked Sarah in the eyes and repeated “I will protect you. Just tell me who hurt you.”
Sarah put her head back on her mother's shoulder. “It was...”
Just as Sarah was about to say a name her step-dad, Leroy, appeared in the door.
“Hey baby.” Leroy said “I thought I heard you talking in here. What's going on?”
“Someone hurt our baby. I came in here and she was curled up in a ball on the floor crying.” She said turning toward Leroy.
“Did she tell you who it was.” He asked walking into the room, stopping a few steps short of them.
“No. She was about to tell me when you walked in. Who was it honey? Who hurt you.”
“It was...” Sarah started to stutter. She looked at Leroy. He raised his two hands as if telling her he would choke her to death. Jill was still looking at her daughter. “It was...” Sarah begin to cry again. “I can't tell you. He'll kill me. Please don't make me tell. I don't want to die.”
“It's okay honey. It's okay.”
“Yeah, its okay Sarah. Everything is going to be okay.” Leroy said in a serious voice. But he had a slight smile on his face.
“I'll be right back. I'm going to run you a hot bath then I have to ask you some questions.” Jill explained to Sarah.
“I told you I can't tell you his name he will...” Sarah started to plead but was cut off by Leroy.
“We won't ask you who did it. Okay.” Leroy said sounding very concerned.
“Just lay down baby I will go start your bath.” Jill said kissing her daughter on the forehead. Jill stood up and walked to the room door and stopped. “Leroy.” she said turning around to him. “Will you stay here with Sarah so she won't be scared.”
“Of course honey.” he said putting his hands around her waist and kissing her passionately.
“It's okay mama I won't be scared to be by myself.” Sarah replied quickly “As long as I know you are in the house, I'll be fine. I promise.”
“I'll stay here with you. Don't worry. I' won't let anything happen to you.” Leroy said turning towards
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:lmao:

what the hell? I couldn't stop laughing at the bolded part (and the entire story really)
 

kimorah86

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page two

Sarah smiling.
“But..” Sarah started to compliant but was immediately cut off by her mom.
“Its settled. Leroy will stay here with you. Don't worry.” Jill said with a half smile “Everything will be alright.” She kissed Leroy again and left the room.
Leroy walked to the door and watched Jill walk to the end of the hall. “JILL” he called.
“YES” she called back turning toward him.
“Can you make us something to eat. A sand which or something.” He asked
“Okay baby. I have to stop pass the store and get some meat be back in a few minutes. Can you tell Sarah.” Jill said walking back up to Leroy.
“Okay. I'll tell her you just get going hurry up and come back.” He said in a low voice. “Oh can you by some steak for us to have tonight for dinner.”
“Okay. Be back in a minute.” She said kissing him again and turning around and walking away.
Leroy turned and walked back to the room door. He stopped at the door and waited to hear the back door shut. He continued in the room.
“So you was going to tell your mother what happen today.” Leroy said with a devious smile on his face.
“No. I wasn't going to tell her. I told her..” Sarah began, but Leroy slapped her hard in the face.
“Don't lie to me I was outside the door the whole time you were talking. Now tell me you won't going to say anything.”
“But. I won't going to tell her. I was going to say I don't know his name.” Sarah pleaded
“You listen and listen closely.” he said grabbing her arms with great force. “You are not to tell anyone what goes on when your mother is not home. Not even your mother you here me.”
“You're hurting me.” Sarah cried
“I don't give a damn if you are hurt or not. You straighten your self up. I get paid a lot money for my friends to have a piece of you. And you are not going to do anything to mess it up. Do you understand me.
“Yes sir.” she said with her head hung down.
“Now this is what you are going to tell your mother, when she ask you what happen and who did this to you.”



. . .​



“Sarah. Leroy. I'm home.” Jill yelled as she came in the house. Leroy appeared at the top of the steps.
“How was your day honey. You are home late why didn't you call me. Is something wrong.” He asked with a curious look on his face.
“No. nothing wrong. I'm just so tired it took me double the amount of time to do my work today. Then the police came by the office to ask more questions about what happen to Sarah. They think she knows more than what she told them or us. They also think somebody scared her into telling us that story. But they don't have any suspects yet.”
“Why do they think she made that story up.” Leroy asked
“They don't think she is lying about what happened to her they think she is lying about how it happened to her. To tell you the truth I think thats why she didn't want to tell us at first what happen.”
“So what else did they say” Leroy asked
“Remember when they took our DNA.” Jill asked
 

HoleInTheRoof

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kimorah86;3347511 said:
“You listen and listen closely.” he said grabbing her arms with great force. “You are not to tell anyone what goes on when your mother is not home. Not even your mother you here me.”
“You're hurting me.” Sarah cried
“I don't give a damn if you are hurt or not. You straighten your self up. I get paid a lot money for my friends to have a piece of you. And you are not going to do anything to mess it up. Do you understand me.
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kimorah86; said:
Most of what I write is from life experiences.
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Is this a cry for help?
 
JustDezIt

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sounds like an episode of law and order i watched last night
 

kimorah86

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Think of it this way the little girl in the story is acting like a four year old at the age of 12. If my daughter was actting like that. At twelve crying when i leave her with a certain person and faking sick every time i left her with a certain person. I would listen before she dies.
 
CowboyMcCoy

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kimorah86;3338325 said:
What is funny is everyone up (on) here automatic (automatically) assume (assumes) I can't write because of the way I speak up (on) here, but the truth (of the matter) is everything I have wrote (written) so far is said to be really good by everyone who has read it. Oh, I'm not in 6th grade.I'm in college.
Click to expand...

FIFY.

ITT Tech meet the University of Texas.
 

kimorah86

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Are you an english major. since you want to correct what i am writting up here. You should know the difference in between writting books and writting papers. Right
 
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