OT: Rodney Dangerfield passes

[Hostile]

"My wife was afraid of the dark...then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light."

 

[CowboyPrincess]

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

 

[Hostile]

"My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap....He was in the electric chair."

 

[LaTunaNostra]

My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.

 

[trickblue]

Amazing how many of us know his lines...

He will be sorely missed... sheer genius...

"I took the wife out one night... when we got home I brought her a glass of water and an aspirin... she said... I don't have a headache... I said GREAT... let's have sex"...

 

[CowboyPrincess]

I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price

"When I was a kid I got no respect. When my parents got divorced there was a custody fight over me . . . and no one showed up."

 

[Hostile]

"It's been a rough day. I got up this morning ... put on a shirt and
a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off.
I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.

 

[CowboyPrincess]

My doctor is strange. No matter where it hurts you, he wants to kiss it and make it better. After he checked me for a hernia, I had to change my phone number

 

[Hostile]

"I was such an ugly baby ... My mother never breast fed me. She told
me that she only liked me as a friend."

 

[CowboyPrincess]

My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.

 

[Hostile]

"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and
a radio."

 

[The Fonz]

sad news indeed he will be missed

here some of his jokes

A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's
nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.


I was such an ugly baby ... My mother never breast fed me. She told
me that she only liked me as a friend.

When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said
to my father ... I'm very sorry .... We did everything we could ...
But he pulled through.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger
to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
RIP Rodney thanks for the good times n you will be missed

 

[BrAinPaiNt]

RIP to a great comedian who not only did great shows but also helped bring in and promote some good young comics in his specials.

RIP Rodney and even though your cry was No Respect...I think it is a fair thing to say that you were Respected by many, not just fans but in your own line of work.

You will be missed.

 

[SoTex]

Sad day indeed.

Rodney...........you have all my respect. Thanks for the laughs.

 

[SoTex]

"My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet".

"I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west!"

"I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning!"

"This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me."

 

[Yeagermeister]

RIP to a great comedian who not only did great shows but also helped bring in and promote some good young comics in his specials.

RIP Rodney and even though your cry was No Respect...I think it is a fair thing to say that you were Respected by many, not just fans but in your own line of work.

You will be missed.

When you think about it he gave a lot of the well know comedians of today their first big time exposure with his young comedians specials. Guys like Kinison (rip) and Seinfeld owed him a lot.

 

[TruBlueCowboy]

Thanks for all the great Rodney Dangerfield lines in this thread! Good stuff! Sad to see him go.

 

[Monte51Coleman]

I asked one girl if she was going to hate herself in the morning, she said "I hate myself now".

Rodney Dangerfield- Rest In Peace

 

[Irving Cowboy]

Some of his best ones:

"I got lost when I was little and I found a policeman, I asked him, "Can you help me find my parents?" He said "I don't know kid, there's so many places they can hide...""

"My favorite hobby in school was going to drive-in movies alone and doing pushups in the backseat of the car"

"I have no luck when driving... when I ask directions everyone tells me the same thing... "Just go straight ahead"... as soon as I pull away I come to a fork in the road!"

"Every Sunday I take my family out for a push"

"I told my psychologist makes me lie on the couch face down"

"When I was in school kids used to call me four-eyes... then I got glasses and they called my eight-eyes"

"My daughter flunked her driver's test, yeah she couldn't get used to the front seat... It took her six lessons to get her to sit up in the car!!!"

"Are you kidding I know my wife cheats on me, every time I come home the parrot says "Quick, out the window!"... The other day I caught a guy jogging naked and I asked him why... he said "Because you came home early!"... Last night I found a guy's wallet... inside was a picture of my two kids!!"