Pick up lines...

[masomenos]

Here's a good instructional video for you:

[youtube]DjN8X7tgpUE[/youtube]

 

[masomenos]

What has 142 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My Zipper.

You have Ed Norton in your pants?

 

[tomson75]

You have Ed Norton in your pants?

Well played.

 

[Nors]

A few rules

Girls want to be told they are hot, complimented - be very direct

Surround yourself with friends better looking then you

That ultimately gets you an in over time, and then goof on your friends. Girls want to be with guys having fun. Always shoot for hottest girl(s) in bar. Many get scared off and bail on approaching. If possible arrange to have hot girls out with you to start with even if only friends, associates, that ratchets it all up.

Once you get in, sense of humor works
and avoid all the cliches listed in this thread

Coming soon -
I have next move tactic that is tried and learned
How to pick up strippers

 

[big dog cowboy]

Hello, they call me The Big Dog........

 

[DaBoys4Life]

If i can rearrange the alphabet i'd put U & I together.

Do you believe in love at first sight ?

No....

Good, let me come back around.

If I told you you had a nice body would you hold it against me?

 

[DaBoys4Life]

Baby did you fart because you just blew me away.

You must have a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them.


Okay, this is a joke, but I bet she hasn't heard the pick up line.


A guy sits down at a bar next to a gorgeous woman. He glances her way and when she glances back he immediately checks his watch.

She notices and says, "is your date running late?"

He replies, "oh I'm not waiting for a date. I have a watch that sends telepathic signals to me about what people are thinking."

She says, "is that so? What did your watch say?"

"It said you weren't wearning any panties."

She says, "hate to tell you this, but I am."

Guy taps the watch 4 times. "Dang thing is an hour fast again."

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I won't give you the clap

or my personal fav,

40 dollars ought to cover it

 

[the kid 05]

you have to act like your on the phone or have a bet with a buddy to win something and you walk up to the female and ask her

"excuse miss...do you know how much a polar bear weights?"

unless shes a nerd or loves polar bears she should reply with the usually "i dunno"

and then you chime in "enough to break the ice...hi im (insert name here)"

just in times for the holidays

"excuse me can i take a picture of you cuz i want to show Santa what i want"

 

[Dallas]

Inheriting 65 million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.


Oh...hello

 

[HoleInTheRoof]

I've got to go take a monster dump, but when I get done, I'd like to buy you a drink.

Whats a girl like you doing in a classy place like this?

I promise I wont murder you.

You want to dance? No? Well do any of your friends have lower standards?

You're almost as pretty as mother.

Don't worry, I like to take things slow. Especially since I'm impotent.

 

[Nors]

lol mods

wrong posters being censored - this is classic all time bad stuff

 

[masomenos]

Inheriting 65 million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.


Oh...hello

:laugh2:

 

[Hoofbite]

"You definitely want to take the drink from my LEFT hand"

 

[Sarge]

Hi, I'm Sarge...pull my finger.

 

[BrAinPaiNt]

I heard you were a Nurse.

It burns when I pee.

Will you be my Florence Nightingale?

 

[Hostile]

you have to act like your on the phone or have a bet with a buddy to win something and you walk up to the female and ask her

"excuse miss...do you know how much a polar bear weights?"

unless shes a nerd or loves polar bears she should reply with the usually "i dunno"

and then you chime in "enough to break the ice...hi im (insert name here)"

just in times for the holidays

"excuse me can i take a picture of you cuz i want to show Santa what i want"

Okay, I really did use the one I'm about to tell you. On my wife no less, but we had already met, so it wasn't exactly a pick up line. This is how I asked her out for the first time.

I got a 3" x 5" card. It wasn't white. I then wrote a message on the card and decorated it kind of fancy. I'll share the message at the bottom of this.

Then I took the card to a copy place and had it laminated in hard plastic.

I went home and put it in a bowl of water and stuck it in the freezer.

The next morning I called her up and told her I had something for her. When I got there later I handed her this big block of ice and told her it was inside.

She asked how to get it out. I had brought a hammer. Or I told her she could bust it on the sidewalk. She opted to throw it on the sidewalk.

Out popped the card.

It said..."Now that we've broken the ice, will you go out with me?"










The rest, as they say, is History. By the way, she had a steady boyfriend. I shot him right out of the saddle.

 

[Ren]

Excuse me, but I'm new in town.....can I have directions to your place?

Am I cute enough yet? Or do you need more to drink?

Can I read your T-shirt in brail?

What has 142 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My Zipper.

You'll do.

You might as well sleep with me because I'm going to tell everyone you did anyway.

 

[Route 66]

By the way, she had a steady boyfriend. I shot him right out of the saddle.

How many "Toodles" stories do you have?

 

[CF74]

just in times for the holidays

"excuse me can i take a picture of you cuz i want to show Santa what i want"

That one might work on the ditzy ones