We need a time machine instead. And a bat.
We set it for early March 1994 and locate Jerry Jones. He'll probably be hanging around a bar. Or maybe a brothel. Nevermind. We locate Jones. Clunk him in the back of the head with the bat. Load him in a huge cardboard box with the shipping label 'Destination: Tanzania'. Drop it off at the nearest UPS store (were those around in '94?). Return to the present. Puff out our collective chests seeing Dallas with a total of 11 Lombardi trophies.
There is only one problem. We will have changed the past and will find out that...
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