I need to ask a question on these lines.
been with this girl for 2 years now, valentines day was like a 2yr aniversary.
so...problem is things are not like they used to be, but she's really close to my family, my daughter and somewhat dependent towards me. her folks have passed on, she doesnt get along that well with her siblings and she lives alone. if i broke up with her i dont know if/how she would handle it. She's very dependent on me.
maybe thats part of the problem, when i met her she was wild, and experienced in all kinds of things i wanted to experience. she's 10 years older than me and introduced me to a lot of "alternative lifestyle" activities.
But now things have changed so much. She just wants to go out for dinner or see a movie. she has too much social anxiety to go to a lot of places. Every day is like some new crisis and ive become an emotional cruth. She has some issues with depression and that gets pretty rough at times. Also with the depression theres some hostility. theres more i could add here but wont get into it.
And so i thought i would just get busier with some new projects and spend a little more time with some frinds to create some space, which has helped and since we dont see each other as often things have calmed down.
But there's a girl i've been around lately through different activities. And im really attracted to her and she likes me. well, she know my girlfriend and is willing to get involved with me even though she knows i have a girlfriend. I know its wrong but i think im going to see them both and be kind of secretive and just let the chips fall where they may. I mean, i need somethings too and im not getting it from my girlfriend (not sex, its the intimacy im missing) I feel like im always taking care of my girlfriend. The latest crisis was her recent weight gain, but that doesnt bother me, but she's upset and down all the time to the point where it has completely disrupted her whole emotional state for 3-4 months now and she doesnt want to go out and she cites her being overwight and older than me as reasons why.
I just cant handle having my girlfriend have an emotional breakdown on me, i dont want to go through that right now. If she would yell at me and tell me to go F myself i could say "this isnt working" and leave. But its too hard for me to walk away and picture her crying all day and night in her apartment all alone. we've been through a lot together. Its funny, she can solve and take care of everyone else's problems and actually loves to do this, but she really struggles with her own problems.
Over the holidays we started talking about maybe we arn't compatible and while im talking i look at her and she started to have a breakdown, man it was scary as hell, and im not even going to go into what transpired. She asked me to leave but she was in no condition to be left alone so i made her get in my car and took her to a diner for coffee and just talked until she was ok again. Then the next day she acts like nothing ever happened. No one but me see's this side of her.
But the bottom line is, i dont really get excited to see her like i used to and she can sense that and im not sure things can get back to where they were. I may be in over my head on this one cause i think i underestimated the degree of dependency her illness/depression would bring about.
