Should he or shouldn't he?

[TheSport78]

When a woman tells a man that she "just wants to be friends," the man should simply say, "I have enough friends."

 

[Idgit]

This is right on the money.

She probably didn't respond in kind because she likes him as a friend and didn't want to hurt his feelings and potentially change the dynamic of the friendship. Instead she waffles around and says nothing, hoping he will take the gentle hint.

That's what I would guess. Because waffling is better than rejection.

But if she's willing to spend significant time with him, and he doesn't let her keep him in the friend zone, he should have a chance. I can't tell you how many of my friends didn't have a chance with a girl but were patient, respectful, and persistent until they had a chance with the girl.

Women respect confidence, and it matters more than appearance in a lot of cases. If he can not be a butthurt puppy dog, and manage to act like he's pretty sure she's missing something obvious if she's not willing to reciprocate immediately, she'll eventually start to wonder if maybe he isn't right.

But he's got to stop fooling himself that this is about her not respecting him or not being forthright. It's about the fact that her rebuff hurt his feelings.

Rub some dirt on it and get back in the game.

 

[Faerluna]

That's what I would guess. Because waffling is better than rejection.

But if she's willing to spend significant time with him, and he doesn't let her keep him in the friend zone, he should have a chance. I can't tell you how many of my friends didn't have a chance with a girl but were patient, respectful, and persistent until they had a chance with the girl.

Women respect confidence, and it matters more than appearance in a lot of cases. If he can not be a butthurt puppy dog, and manage to act like he's pretty sure she's missing something obvious if she's not willing to reciprocate immediately, she'll eventually start to wonder if maybe he isn't right.

But he's got to stop fooling himself that this is about her not respecting him or not being forthright. It's about the fact that her rebuff hurt his feelings.

Rub some dirt on it and get back in the game.

Couldn't agree more.

 

[67CowboysFan]

Keep her as a friend and look for romance somewhere else. She obviously likes the friendship from what was said in the original post.

 

[WV Cowboy]

I would agree with that some, if they were in high school, but it's not something I'd expect out of grown adults (mature ones anyway). But like I said, I also don't know anything about the dating scene since I've been married awhile, though not quite as long as you.

High school? What do you mean?

If he revealed to her that he liked her as a girlfriend, and she didn't respond in a positive way, ... that should have told him she wasn't interested.

Move on.

Oh, and congratulations on staying married awhile, ... in this day and age that is a great thing.

 

[CashMan]

When a woman tells a man that she "just wants to be friends," the man should simply say, "I have enough friends."

I like this!

 

[Verdict]

The question cannot be answered with the information provided. If she is a "tester" then she was just playing him and had no interest in him. A tester would have given him an immediate and definite response one way or the other unless she was just playing him. If she seems to juggle guys a lot then she is most likely a tester.

If she is an "invester" she might be more cautious and more deliberate in her decision to date him.

The next thing you would need to know is if she is a "denyer" or a "justifier" when it comes to sex. If she were to hypothetically have sex with someone on the down low and someone asked her did she have sex with that person she would answer the question in one of two ways. If she says "no" I didn't have sex with him (which in this hypothetical is a lie), then she is a "denyer". If she were to answer the question with "yes ... I had sex with him... it isn't a big deal" then she is a "justifier".

If she is a tester and justifier..... then she played him like a musical instrument. She knew exactly what she was doing, and blatantly took advantage of his generosity.

If she is an invester/denyer .... then she probably really had interest in him and decided for the time being that she isn't ready to date him, but it is a possibility that it could STILL develop into something more. If he honestly thinks that she is an investor/denyer then she is probably friend material and is worth being friends with. Investor/denyers are notoriously slow to warm up and take much longer to make a decision.

If she has had sex with ANYONE at work (on a one night stand or short term fling), then she is likely a justifier, and he is dead in the water. He needs to write her off and move on. I hope this helps.

Verdict