Small-town eccentric characters

[Reverend Conehead]

Who here grew up in a small town? You don't have to name it if you don't want to, but maybe you would be willing to share some of the eccentric characters who lived there. I grew up in a rural Texas town. Some of our characters:

Candy Man Roy
He was an elderly gentleman who hung out downtown and gave candy or bubble gum to kids. Nowadays, that has a connotation of a perv, but it didn't back then AT ALL. He was a good guy and loved kids and was always cracking jokes.

Mrs. H.
One of my teachers. She made a big production out of threatening the paddle to keep kids in line, displaying it in a holder that made it stand up on her desk. She would say, "Now, okay, people, you better set down and be quiet or your little bottoms are going to be sore." She was a fiery red head and a good teacher. To this day if I have to calculate some math, I say, "Mrs. H. taught me well."

Old Lady Wright
She was the town scary lady whom we seldom actually saw. I never did actually see her in person, but she was rumored to have snakes living in her basement. If you got too close to her property supposedly she would come after you with a shot gun or sic her rotweiler on you. She allegedly used to go to the supermarket in her curlers and a bathrobe. Supposedly she would steal flowers from the cemetery and decorate her house with them. One day a friend was over at my house and he dialed a number on the phone and gave it to me. I heard a very cranky old lady yelling at me, "I know who you are. I'm gonna have the police come and pick you up." It was Old Lady Wright -- my friend had duped me. That was my only real contact with her. Everything else I know is what was told to me by others, most of which are probably tall tales.

Okay, your turn. Who were the eccentric characters where you lived growing up? You don't have to use any real names of people or towns if you'd rather not.

 

[Phoenix]

Amarillo... Stanley Marsh. The Cadillac ranch guy...this guy was the very definition of eccentric.

 

[BrAinPaiNt]

Ravenswood and Ripley, WV

I will not use real names, just Initials.

DH. So we lived in a small town and when I was young it was nothing for kids to walk around town or ride on their bikes even after dark in the summer. Sometimes we would go through on part of town that was a little shady and there were a couple of times where DH would jump out trees and start chasing us. DH was not really right in the head (at least that was what was said back in the day). He would ride around town on bicycles that were frankensteined. By that I mean he had bicycles that were pieced together from multiple bikes. If he saw you riding bikes he would start chasing you. One time he had a humdinger of a bike where he replaced his handle bars with an old an used riding lawn mower steering wheel. He was chasing us on it and we cut a few hard turns and he tried to but turned the steering wheel too hard and wrecked his bike lol. As we got older he would not bother us.

SL. There was an older lady that would hang out in the parking lot of the local shopping center (basically a small strip mall area). She would hand out pamphlets (not going to say what was on them so I don't break the rules). She would practically hunt you down as you came out of the stores and try to force you to take them. One time I refused and was getting in my car when she started to put them under my wiper blades. I went off on her and cussed her enough that a fly would not land on her. She never bothered me again. But I later felt bad about it as it was clear she had some serious problems.

RM - The town drunk. Not a mean town drunk...Just a town drunk. One I was with a couple of friends. Me and one person waited in the car as her sister went into the store to get something. We were in the front seat and was talking and not paying attention. The back door opened and closed and we just thought it was her sister until we looked back and there sat RM the town drunk. We said...Uh..Think you got in the wrong car. He replied, aren't you taking me to Ripley (town about 10-20 miles away). We reply no you got in the wrong car. He opened the door and go out.

Mouse Farts - That of course was not his real name but one of many names that people called him.
He was a little person. And during the summer you seen him always walking around in town pushing a lawnmower. He would mow many yards for money. In the winter you would see him walking around (no mower of course) in town from time to time but he walked around in a short sleeve shirt and no coat. Of the years I seen him walk around in town I only seen him in a Coat one time. I had others say they had never seen him in the coat. Always seemed like a nice guy and always waved and had a smile on his face. He died some years ago, never knew what he died of.

AT - Twins. Two guys who were twins. Always looked like they just got out of bed with out of place long (shoulder length) hair, scruffy/patchy beards, thick glasses and crumpled clothes. They would sit in the local pizza hut for hours. Would order large teas all day and sit in there and chain smoke cigarettes (when you had smoking areas in places) and not say anything. Just sit, drink tea, smoke and have the shakes from whatever was wrong with them. Never really bothered other people but I know it drove the workers at pizza hut crazy.

 

[WV Cowboy]

Biggy Rat - That is what we called him (not to his face, LOL) because he looked like a rat.
He was a little old guy, always wore the same filthy gray work clothes and a filthy gray hat to match. He was everywhere. We would be out playing or doing something downtown and would turn around and he would be there standing and watching us. Creepy. We could be anywhere, and would look around and he would be standing there.

At the town carnival, outside the candy store, out on the railroad tracks, or near school. He would just appear out of nowhere.

Never bothered us, .. he just always seemed to be around watching.
Didn't know where he lived, or anything about him, ... Biggy Rat.

 

[EST_1986]

Abilene, TX
Terry Berry

Guy wore short shorts and ran all over town. Sad ending he ended up being hit by a train unsure if accidental or suicide.

http://www.texnews.com/graphics/yall011704.pdf

Story about him including the short shorts pictures.