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The Great Peanut Butter and Jelly Debate
by David Roy
September 28, 2007
Without a doubt, peanut butter and jelly are regarded as the all-time best sandwich combination. And let`s face it, they do make one hell of a tandem. Jelly is cool, gooey and sweet, while peanut butter is warm, crunchy and salty. They work so well together that it is hard to imagine them separated.
But what if you split them up? With the exception of the rare piece of toast or inside a donut, jelly is really just an afterthought outside of PBJ. Meanwhile, the versatility of peanut butter allows it to find new uses with celery, bananas, chocolate, ice cream, power bars, milkshakes and even a sandwich with a new partner—honey. The point is, that while the two form a great couple, peanut butter is the key ingredient in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Now consider this unequal partnership in the arena of sports. Think of dynamic duos that had great success together. Only when they split, however, do we see who needed whom more—or, who was the peanut butter and who was the jelly. Sports history is filled with peanut butter sandwiches—Shaq and Kobe, Belicheck and Brady, Malone and Stockton, Ruth and Gehrig—and, as an amateur sports historian, I am going to set out to find out the exact ingredients of these tasty American sports sandwiches.
Shaquille O’Neil & Kobe Bryant
Shaq may be lazy. Shaq may be fat. Shaq may be a terrible actor (remember Kazaam?). And, last, considering that Wilt Chamberlain averaged 50.4 points per game over an entire season, Shaq is probably an even worse amateur sports historian than me when he claims that he is the MDE (most dominant ever).
Although these things may be true, Shaq is definitely the peanut butter in this sandwich. Shaq-led teams have only twice in his career failed to win 50 games (his rookie year and last season), and he has managed to carry three different franchises to the NBA finals, winning four championships. It cannot be denied that Shaq needed Kobe to finally achieve a championship and might not have won those three titles without Kobe. However, even without Bryant, a startlingly skinny Shaq took the Orlando Magic to the finals. And now Shaq is one bruised thigh and one Dwayne Wade rib cage from not just one, but two championships in three seasons with the Miami Heat. Lastly, Shaq has won an MVP and Kobe has not.
Meanwhile, Kobe has become the NBA’s most prolific offensive player in the absence of Shaq, winning consecutive scoring titles in 05-’06 and ’06-‘07. He also put together two of the more memorable individual scoring performances in NBA history when he scored 62 points in three quarters and 81 points in four. However, Kobe has not advanced past the first round of the playoffs since the split with Shaq and is the first player in history to regret not signing with the Clippers. Clearly, Shaq is the peanut butter.
Michael Jordan & Scottie Pippen:
“Sometimes a player’s greatest challenge is coming to grips with his role on the team.”
With quotes like this, Scottie really takes the fun out of these debates. However, for the sake of argument, let’s look at the facts of this closer than expected call.
With Pippen, Jordan has won six NBA championships and an Olympic Gold Medal. He also won five MVPs, six Finals MVPs, ten First-Team All-NBA, Defensive Player of the Year and nine scoring titles while also becoming a global icon.
Without Pippen, Jordan won an NCAA championship, an Olympic Gold Medal and a scoring title. He also got cut from his high school team and made an ill-advised second comeback with the Washington Wizards. In fact, the most games a Jordan-led NBA team won without Pippen was 40.
In Pippen’s one full year without Jordan, the Chicago Bulls won 55 games and made it to the Eastern Conference semi-finals, with Pippen performing brilliantly. He won the All-Star game MVP and led the All-NBA First Team and All-NBA Defensive Team in votes. Sadly, that year is marred by Pippen’s decision to sit out the last 1.8 seconds of a playoff game against the Knicks when Coach Phil Jackson called a final play for teammate Toni Kukoc. In addition, Pippen nearly led the Portland Trail Blazers to the NBA finals, until one spectacularly epic 15-point fourth quarter collapse against the Los Angeles Lakers.
After all that analysis, clearly the peanut butter is… Jordan. Still, it was closer than you thought, right?
Peyton Manning and Edgerrin James:
Remember the huge debate two NFL offseasons ago when the media was proclaiming Edgerrin James as the Arizona Cardinals savior and openly wondering if Manning could survive without James? Well, James averaged about 1 inch per carry behind the unstoppable force that is the Arizona Cardinals offensive line. And Manning? All he did was lead the Indianapolis Colts to a 9-0 start, make the Pro Bowl and lift his Super Bowl curse. I just hope that this article doesn’t spawn a new series of Manning commercials endorsing peanut butter.
Mike Holmgren and Brett Favre:
Holmgren and Favre reached two Super Bowls together, winning one. In their time together, Favre also won a record three MVPs. Since splitting up, Holmgren has used Paul Allen’s Microsoft billions to not only turn my beloved, perennially-losing Seattle Seahawks into near Super Bowl champs, but has even managed to turn a panicky sixth-round draft pick bald quarterback from Boston College into a Campbell’s soup-selling, Pro Bowl quarterback. All Favre has done is throw loads of ill-advised interceptions, make a brilliant guest appearance in There’s Something About Mary and turn into the biggest retirement tease in the history of professional sports. He makes me dread the NFL offseason. Just go back to Mississippi and go hunting for God’s sake! The Verdict: Holmgren is the peanut butter, and Favre is expired Mississippi Jelly.
Terrell Owens and Any Quarterback He Has Ever Played With:
I can`t believe I am writing this right now, but Terrell Owens is always the peanut butter. Despite his publicized problems off the field, there is no denying that no matter the quarterback, Owens performs like an All-Pro. He has averaged 1140 yards and 11 touchdowns per season over his first nine seasons.
It is what happens to the quarterbacks after Owens leaves that is the scary part. Call it the curse of TO:
Steve Young retired with concussion problems.
Jeff Garcia became a journeyman backup NFL quarterback plagued by inconsistency and back problems. He was also arrested for drunk driving in 2004.
Donovan McNabb has suffered two season ending injuries—a sports hernia and a ruptured ACL—that have put the perennial Pro Bowler’s career in doubt. Ironically, Garcia stepped into McNabb’s place last year and led the Philadelphia Eagles to the playoffs. They should start an Owens support group together.
Now, guess who is making Tony Romo look good in Dallas? Terrell Owens. They should just go ahead and name the 2007-2008 Cowboys team DVD Final Destination 4: R.I.P. Tony Romo.
http://www.tsl.pomona.edu/?page=sports&article=2541&issue=86
by David Roy
September 28, 2007
Without a doubt, peanut butter and jelly are regarded as the all-time best sandwich combination. And let`s face it, they do make one hell of a tandem. Jelly is cool, gooey and sweet, while peanut butter is warm, crunchy and salty. They work so well together that it is hard to imagine them separated.
But what if you split them up? With the exception of the rare piece of toast or inside a donut, jelly is really just an afterthought outside of PBJ. Meanwhile, the versatility of peanut butter allows it to find new uses with celery, bananas, chocolate, ice cream, power bars, milkshakes and even a sandwich with a new partner—honey. The point is, that while the two form a great couple, peanut butter is the key ingredient in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Now consider this unequal partnership in the arena of sports. Think of dynamic duos that had great success together. Only when they split, however, do we see who needed whom more—or, who was the peanut butter and who was the jelly. Sports history is filled with peanut butter sandwiches—Shaq and Kobe, Belicheck and Brady, Malone and Stockton, Ruth and Gehrig—and, as an amateur sports historian, I am going to set out to find out the exact ingredients of these tasty American sports sandwiches.
Shaquille O’Neil & Kobe Bryant
Shaq may be lazy. Shaq may be fat. Shaq may be a terrible actor (remember Kazaam?). And, last, considering that Wilt Chamberlain averaged 50.4 points per game over an entire season, Shaq is probably an even worse amateur sports historian than me when he claims that he is the MDE (most dominant ever).
Although these things may be true, Shaq is definitely the peanut butter in this sandwich. Shaq-led teams have only twice in his career failed to win 50 games (his rookie year and last season), and he has managed to carry three different franchises to the NBA finals, winning four championships. It cannot be denied that Shaq needed Kobe to finally achieve a championship and might not have won those three titles without Kobe. However, even without Bryant, a startlingly skinny Shaq took the Orlando Magic to the finals. And now Shaq is one bruised thigh and one Dwayne Wade rib cage from not just one, but two championships in three seasons with the Miami Heat. Lastly, Shaq has won an MVP and Kobe has not.
Meanwhile, Kobe has become the NBA’s most prolific offensive player in the absence of Shaq, winning consecutive scoring titles in 05-’06 and ’06-‘07. He also put together two of the more memorable individual scoring performances in NBA history when he scored 62 points in three quarters and 81 points in four. However, Kobe has not advanced past the first round of the playoffs since the split with Shaq and is the first player in history to regret not signing with the Clippers. Clearly, Shaq is the peanut butter.
Michael Jordan & Scottie Pippen:
“Sometimes a player’s greatest challenge is coming to grips with his role on the team.”
With quotes like this, Scottie really takes the fun out of these debates. However, for the sake of argument, let’s look at the facts of this closer than expected call.
With Pippen, Jordan has won six NBA championships and an Olympic Gold Medal. He also won five MVPs, six Finals MVPs, ten First-Team All-NBA, Defensive Player of the Year and nine scoring titles while also becoming a global icon.
Without Pippen, Jordan won an NCAA championship, an Olympic Gold Medal and a scoring title. He also got cut from his high school team and made an ill-advised second comeback with the Washington Wizards. In fact, the most games a Jordan-led NBA team won without Pippen was 40.
In Pippen’s one full year without Jordan, the Chicago Bulls won 55 games and made it to the Eastern Conference semi-finals, with Pippen performing brilliantly. He won the All-Star game MVP and led the All-NBA First Team and All-NBA Defensive Team in votes. Sadly, that year is marred by Pippen’s decision to sit out the last 1.8 seconds of a playoff game against the Knicks when Coach Phil Jackson called a final play for teammate Toni Kukoc. In addition, Pippen nearly led the Portland Trail Blazers to the NBA finals, until one spectacularly epic 15-point fourth quarter collapse against the Los Angeles Lakers.
After all that analysis, clearly the peanut butter is… Jordan. Still, it was closer than you thought, right?
Peyton Manning and Edgerrin James:
Remember the huge debate two NFL offseasons ago when the media was proclaiming Edgerrin James as the Arizona Cardinals savior and openly wondering if Manning could survive without James? Well, James averaged about 1 inch per carry behind the unstoppable force that is the Arizona Cardinals offensive line. And Manning? All he did was lead the Indianapolis Colts to a 9-0 start, make the Pro Bowl and lift his Super Bowl curse. I just hope that this article doesn’t spawn a new series of Manning commercials endorsing peanut butter.
Mike Holmgren and Brett Favre:
Holmgren and Favre reached two Super Bowls together, winning one. In their time together, Favre also won a record three MVPs. Since splitting up, Holmgren has used Paul Allen’s Microsoft billions to not only turn my beloved, perennially-losing Seattle Seahawks into near Super Bowl champs, but has even managed to turn a panicky sixth-round draft pick bald quarterback from Boston College into a Campbell’s soup-selling, Pro Bowl quarterback. All Favre has done is throw loads of ill-advised interceptions, make a brilliant guest appearance in There’s Something About Mary and turn into the biggest retirement tease in the history of professional sports. He makes me dread the NFL offseason. Just go back to Mississippi and go hunting for God’s sake! The Verdict: Holmgren is the peanut butter, and Favre is expired Mississippi Jelly.
Terrell Owens and Any Quarterback He Has Ever Played With:
I can`t believe I am writing this right now, but Terrell Owens is always the peanut butter. Despite his publicized problems off the field, there is no denying that no matter the quarterback, Owens performs like an All-Pro. He has averaged 1140 yards and 11 touchdowns per season over his first nine seasons.
It is what happens to the quarterbacks after Owens leaves that is the scary part. Call it the curse of TO:
Steve Young retired with concussion problems.
Jeff Garcia became a journeyman backup NFL quarterback plagued by inconsistency and back problems. He was also arrested for drunk driving in 2004.
Donovan McNabb has suffered two season ending injuries—a sports hernia and a ruptured ACL—that have put the perennial Pro Bowler’s career in doubt. Ironically, Garcia stepped into McNabb’s place last year and led the Philadelphia Eagles to the playoffs. They should start an Owens support group together.
Now, guess who is making Tony Romo look good in Dallas? Terrell Owens. They should just go ahead and name the 2007-2008 Cowboys team DVD Final Destination 4: R.I.P. Tony Romo.
http://www.tsl.pomona.edu/?page=sports&article=2541&issue=86
